The human centipede giveaway

- I want in! Subbed for next go! Or is this now dead?!

 

If there is another round, it's probably going to get weird with an extra twinge of sadness.

How about a 20 year old crock pot with a hairline crack on the side? I'm gonna fill it with a green bean and macaroni bacon casserole before shipping out. I'll make sure it's the mayonnaise free recipe, just in case you live in a warm state.

Or, maybe I just need to cover my single camp cot in 70 dollars worth of postage stamps, write your address on the side in crayon, and hope like hell the postal service has a good sense of humor.

Who could use a cat? I have 3. I'll pick one of the friendly ones. Just make sure you let it adjust for a couple of hours before tearing open the bag and releasing into it's new tank.

 

What a tease!

 

I like weird! I thought that was the point?!

Damn that recipe sounds delicious! No need for Mayo Free here it’s just SC!

Just try one Forever stamp! Can’t they just ring it up forever and ever until they reach the total?! Is that not how that works?!

But is it alive or dead before I open the bag?!

 

Good questions! Gotta roll those dice to find out!

Oh I got the perfect thing. A bundle of firewood. Carefully grown, harvested, and curated all in my vast 0.235 acre farmstead. We only select the highest quality Poplar, Chinese Tallow, and/or Virginia Creeper for your romantic bonfire to be.
As part of the 2 month aging process we lovingly recite a shakespearean sonnet to each log before thoroughly coating in cosmoline and shipping out to you. Guaranteed to be a nearly spider free experience!

 

How many cockroaches? Spiders I can handle! Cockroaches make me scream like a little person (non-midget style, but political correctness!)... (ahh I fucked that up too, can’t be correct without being incorrect!)

 

Oh you want the premium bundle. Guaranteed 100% pest free. That one is mixed with our proprietary blend of cosmoline, DEET, warfarin, and a few ingredients that we aren't allowed to disclose until after the trial*.

*please do not attempt to cook with the premium bundle.
**please do not stand within 100 feet of the premium bundle while burning.
***please do not stand within 100 feet of the premium bundle while not burning.

 

We better do something soon, this shark is getting a bit too ripe. Even the buzzards have stopped coming around!

 

This rack of ribs is gonna be epic!

 

*** *** *********!

Edit: my attorney has advised me to not comment on the epicness of those ribs.

 

Give it a few more weeks and it will fetch a delicacy price.

 

If @Sicario had to prove how much of a degenerate he is, @McRib should also do the same.

First question, if you had to smuggle dildos into the country without baggage of any sort, where would you hide them?

 

Ohh there is an initiation!?

I choose @Rock Lobster bananas! I was gonna go all @USMC - Retired banana hammock but as formerly known as The Schwartz I thought it might be degrading...

 

All, the Carmen Miranda power move. Interesting choice.

 

Also, my girlfriend just said "you posted a picture of a banana covered nerd a year ago? I don't get it."

 

That mean I’m in?

 

Here is a stun gun for free

 

Well, you passed the theoretical. Now you must pass the practical application. Let us know how it goes. Pro tip- put the bail money in an escrow account before you leave.

 

The Lawl firm did everything they could! Visit A-Aron-ski on Instagram!

 

Question number 2. Well, it’s a continuation.

do you wash the dildos after you’ve smuggled them in the country?