Whatever

Ain't no thang that can fix him.

 

Him or that stuff McDonald’s calls food.

 

@McRib you shouldn’t have but thanks

 

Least I could do!

 

Itchy cunts

 

Good morning whatever people Opened my curtains this morning and caught sight of these guys. Unfortunately the one in the back had started to turn away by the time I grabbed my phone.

 

Those are priceless!

 

Hey @Gritto
This makes me wonder how these guys have been around for over 100 million years!! There’s two out here all the time but this big dude must not like loud noises. He lives under the concrete slab of the 5-stand and takes off when we start shooting. We see many turkeys out there too but we know they’re stupid.

 

Is she steaming?? How cold this morning? Totally

 

Until turkey season comes in and you can actually kill one, they get smart then somehow

 

Lol yeah, it's all clear now and it's in the mid 40s. We're basically in an area scattered with natural ponds and creeks so the grass is always damp in the mornings. I'm looking forward to having a nice garden going next year

 

Hopefully those good looking deers get the memo and don't eat the garden at night

 

Story Time with Gritto.

I told this one before, but considering the fact there are new(ish) folks here...
Title changed to be in keeping with the poll.

The Pay Phone in the Middle of Nowhere

The time: late 70s
The place: A small town somewhere in Virginia

So one of my college buddies was getting married.
His whole crew from college were invited.
Me too.
I had a feeling this was gonna be "eventful".

We all roll into town for the Bachelor Party in a motel.
Things went downhill very fast.
Somebody gets the bright idea to crash the Bachelorette Party.

We pile into the Groom's big-ass clunker of a station wagon.
At least a dozen very drunk guys, I forget. All still drinking.
Except the Groom, he was passed out in the back.
We drive round and round aimlessly in that small town for a good while.
I wasn't driving...at this point.
"Hey, I thought you knew where the party is?"

We end up on the outskirts of town and stop at a pay phone beside some railroad tracks.
Yeah, there used to be a lot of pay phones around, but why there? Dunno.

A long freight train starts rolling past, slowly.
Naturally, the beer bottles start flying.
Meanwhile, one guy is trying to make a call to get directions to the Bachelorette Party...in all that racket.
He doesn't succeed, and trashes the phone booth.
Another guy blunders into somebody's mailbox and knocks it over.
Lights come on in the house.

The exact sequence of events is a little hazy to me, but at some point the Town Cops arrive.
All two of them...the entire police force.

The Cops start trying to sort things out.

"Who trashed the phone booth?"
Reply:


"What's your name?"
Reply:
"If I had my PT Flyers on, I'd be down the road and you'd never catch me"

"How about you?"
Reply:
"Ocifer, I gotta piss real bad, can this wait?"

"Hey you, what are you doing with that mailbox?" (to one guy carrying said mailbox and post on his shoulder)
Reply:
"I dunno, trying to find where it goes."

"What the Hell are you boys doing here?"
Reply:
"Trying to find the Bachelorette Party, Sir."

"Who's getting married?"
Reply:
1)_______ and 2)______ (daughter of the Mayor)



"Where's the Groom?"
Reply:
"Passed out in the back of the car, Sir."

"Okay boys, you're getting a Po-lice escort back to your motel."
"And we're gonna watch to see that you don't leave again."

Guess who got fingered to drive the clunker back to the motel?

Epilogue

The wedding the next day went off without a hitch.
Though the groom did look a little green around the gills.

Different times.

 

Yeah. It'll definitely be fenced but other than ants I haven't seem anything bothering the apple or plums so I think I'll be safe. They seem to stick to hanging out in the fields from what I've seen.

 

I have never really understood the whole bachelor/bachelorette parties the night before a wedding. You just end up stressed, tired and probably hungover. That's just not a great way to start off the day of your wedding.

New poll idea coming through! @StayinStock

 

Only one very small one