Whatever

Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt.
It is so big. [scoff]
She looks like one of those rap guys' girlfriends.
But, you know, who understands those rap guys? [scoff]
They only talk to her, because, she looks like a total Hobbs, 'kay?
I mean, her butt, is just so big.
I can't believe it's just so round, it's like, out there, I mean— gross. Look!
She's just so... black!

[Sir Mix-a-Lot:]
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull up tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get with you
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that butt you got makes me so horny
Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupie
I've seen them dancin'
To hell with romancin'
She's sweat, wet,
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
Hobbs got back!

(LA face with Oakland booty)
Hobbs got back!
(LA face with Oakland booty)
(LA face with Oakland booty)

[Sir Mix-a-Lot:]
I like 'em round, and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy
'Cause silicone parts are made for toys
I want 'em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Hobbs in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Hobbs walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sisters, I wanna get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna [moan]
Till the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on
So, ladies! (Yeah!) Ladies! (Yeah)
If you wanna roll in my Mercedes (Yeah!)
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even white boys got to shout
Hoobs got back!

Hobbs got back!
Yeah, baby... when it comes to females, Cosmo ain't got nothin' to do with my selection.
36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she's 5'3".

[Sir Mix-a-Lot:]
So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none
Unless you've got buns, hun
You can do side bends or sit-ups,
But please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines:
You ain't it, Miss Thing!
Give me a sister, I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to diss
'Cause his girls are on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em
So ladies, if the butt is round,
And you want a triple X throw down,
Dial 1-900-HOBBSALOT
And kick them nasty thoughts
Hobbs got back!
Hobbs got back!

 

There is some Hobbs in this house.


Hobbs got back.

 

Here we go
Once upon a time not long ago
When BOB wore pajamas and lived life slow
When mods were stern and justice stood
And Rahl was behavin' like he ought ta good
There lived a Old man who was misled
By a Crippled Old man and this is what he said
"Me n' Ya, Hobbs, we gonna make sum cash
Robbin' old folks and makin' tha dash"
They did the job, money came with ease
But Hobbs couldn't stop, it's like he had a disease
He robbed another and another and a sista and her brotha
Tried to rob Nunya who was a T.W. undercover
The cop grabbed his arm, he started acting erratic
He said "Keep still, Hobbs, no need for static"
Punched him in his belly and he gave him a slap
But little did he know the Old man was strapped
Hobbs pulled out a gun, he said "Why did ya hit me?"
The barrel was set straight for the cop's kidney
The cop got scared, the Old man, he starts to figure
"I'll do years if I pull this trigga"
So Hobbs cold dashed and ran around the block
Cop radioes it to another lady cop
He ran by a tree, there he saw this sista
A shot for the head, he shot back but he missed her
Looked around good and from expectations
So Hobbs decided he'd head for the gold mining station
But she was coming and he made a left
He was runnin' top speed till he was outta breath
Knocked Bob down and swore he killed him
Then he made his move to an abandoned building
Ran up the stairs up to the top floor
Opened up the door there, guess who Hobbs saw?
RAHL the dope fiend shootin' dope
Who don't know the meaning of water nor soap
Hobbs said "I need GIF's, hurry up, run!"
The dope fiend brought back a spanking shotgun
He went outside but there was cops all over
Then he dipped into a car, a stolen Tacoma
Raced up the block doing 83
Crashed into a deer near university
Escaped alive though the deer was battered
Rat-a-tat-tatted and all the cops scattered
Ran out of GIF's and he still had static
Grabbed a pregnant lady and pulled out the automatic
Pointed at her head and he said the gun was full o' GIF's
He told the cops "Back off or honey here's dead"
Deep in his heart Hobbs knew he was wrong
So he let the lady go and he starts to run on
Sirens sounded, he seemed astounded
Before long the Old man got surrounded
He dropped the gun, so went the glory
And this is the way I have end this story
Hobbs was only ninety three, in a madman's dream
The cops shot the man, I still hear him scream
This ain't funny so don't ya dare laugh
Just another case 'bout the wrong path
Straight 'n narrow or yo' soul gets Hobbsd
Good night, knock em out the box Rick, knock em out Rick

 

Called it.

 

@My Name is Rahl

 

Pulled in other whatevers. This gets my vote!

 

It was painful to go through those lyrics. Written by a horny 14-year old, I assume.

 

RAHL the dope fiend shootin'dope

I am laughing hard tonight..

 

@Superdave1.0 upping the game. Lets see if others can bring in fellow members into their hobbs remix.

 

All y'all Folks are fucking loony tunes!!
I am crying from laughing so hard!! My belly hurts from laughing!!

 

I've been laughing so hard I had to explain this to my wife.

Here is her entry:


What rolls down stairs
alone or in pairs,
and over your neighbor's dog?
What's great for a snack,
And fits on your back?
It's Hobbs, Hobbs, Hobbs

It's Hobbs, it's Hobbs,
It's big, it's heavy, it's lude.
It's Hobbs, it's Hobbs, it's better than bad, it's good."

Everyone wants a Hobbs
You're gonna love it, Hobbs
Come on and get your Hobbs
Everyone needs a Hobbs
Hobbs Hobbs Hobbs

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fQGPZTECYs

 

From blam-o!

 

@Hobbs

 

gonna have to come back and read some of these rhymes tomorrow, I'm to tired right now, and blurry vision makes it hard to read and type. Have to get up early and get a head start on installing the drivers side shock. Passenger side KICKED my ass today, and i'm in that exhausted mode. Nighty Night everyone have a good one.

 

Mawnin

 

I turned on the evening news
Saw a old man being interviewed
Turning a hundred and two today
Asked him what's the secret to life
He looked up from his old pipe
Laughed and said "All I can say is"
Don't blink
Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your "better half"
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink

I was glued to my TV when it looked like he looked at me and said
"Best start putting first things first"
Cause when your hourglass runs out of sand
You can't flip it over and start again
Take every breathe God gives you for what it's worth
Don't blink

 

Good Morning weirdos and you non weirdos, there’s still hope for you.