Problem

seems like when someone hurts me, making them acknowledge what they did isnt enough. its almost like i strive to make them feel just as shitty as i did when they did what they did. REVENGE. even when they understand what they did, it still isnt enough. what would you guys recommend?

 

explain

 

Anger management

 

no see now youre exaggerating. i dont get what i want and i leave it at that. i dont go on and on. but inside im not satisfied. not that i want them to fly off a cliff. idk i just dont feel satisfied w a person saying "ok i was wrong, what do u want me to do?" like thats not enough for me and there isnt much i can do after that.

 

easier said than done, right? how do i do that? how can i just be like eh its ok. i gotta train myself i guess

 

damn....that goes back to me being a dweller

 

Your post was kinda.....weird. Almost....creepy. So - I gave the best answer to go along with the creepiness.

 

"Forgiveness is primarily for our own sake, so that we no longer carry the burden of resentment. But to forgive does not mean that we will allow injustice again." Quoted from Buddha's little instruction book Helped me get past lots of crap.

 

Gees I hope you aint talking about your woman???? If you are-lighten up on that revenge stuff. When you say "hurt you" I find it hard to believe you are referring to other guys so I assume it's girls right?

 

ahhah yeah. she did something that i didnt like. nothing over the top. im over it now but at the moment u know

 

Just get over it and move on. Maybe the criticism was justfied...maybe not. Be the better person and don't make youself sick dwelling on it with plans of revenge. Telling them how much it hurt only lets them know how much they got to ya! Be strong and don't sweat the small shit.

 

Yeah that's good IMO no revenge thoughts. Too negative and you won't stand a chance of keeping relationships if you are going to be like that. Vindictive people paint themselves into a corner then eventually wind up lonely.

 

Always remember - when someone (including yourself) has the mindset that they're RIGHT in a given situation, there isn't anything in the world that can change that mindset. It goes both ways.

Count to 10, breathe... After you've settled down, you should talk to your girl about it. Chances are, there's a legitimate reason behind it and she probably isn't aware of what she did wrong in your eyes.

 

Not sure if this will help any...

The way I feel, is the way I think, The way I think will affect what I do.

I was told that one has to have a complete change of attitude and focus on other positives no matter how little they are. I wouldn't be where I'm at today if I didn't follow that simple guideline.

 

thanks guys, the buddha quote helped alot. me and the lady got better yesterday, the sex helped too!