Marriage

Then don’t do it ....

 

I havent lol

 

No one is perfect and everyone has some level of crazy in them, the trick is finding someone who's crazy is compatible with yours. If they aren't compatible or the level of crazy in one partner far outweighs the other...

I don't know how old you are but I feel like a lot of people get married way too young anymore. I waited until I was 33, every one of my friends that got married in their early to mid 20s is divorced now. If I had gotten married back then, I would be too..I know that for a fact because I was not relationship material back then, even though I thought I was. I was a self-destructive asshole but that's another story for another time lol. The only way I could see getting married that young is if both people had the exact same goals in life on the same timetable. Life post high school or college is about finding your way and figuring out what you want to do, it's not impossible to do when you're married but it's definitely not as easy.

edited to add - also, never marry (or even get serious with) someone who is controlling. Controlling people never change and only get worse. Partners should build one another up, not break one another down.

 

TW scaring Men from getting married and spending money on trucks that gets men in trouble with wives and girlfriends PRICELESS!!

 

So for a quick self assessment:

When was the last time you had a fight, how was it handled, and how was it resolved? Was it talked out with mutual respect, or was it an emotional explosion? When it was resolved, were both parties in full agreement after the fact? ( The "I'm too tired to continue" compromise doesn't count as agreement - did you achieve actual agreement that you both believed in?)

How often do you have "state of the union" discussions? How frequently do you talk about the status of the relationship? The status of the house? Your finances? Aspirations? Weekend plans? Are these talked about when they are in a healthy status, or are they only brought up when something is wrong?

How do you share stress? If you are in a bad mood and are snippy, do you take the time and effort to explain (or at least summarize) why you are in a bad mood, and do your best not to express unrelated frustrations (like bad day at work) towards your partner? Be honest. This isn't easy for most people.

If you can communicate in an open, honest, respectful way like the examples above (and also your partner can demonstrate the same), then you are ready for the long commitment, grasshopper.

 

This is such an odd thread for Tacoma world lol

 

Got married at 19, fresh out of boot camp. It lasted until my first deployment. It took me almost 20 years to try it again. So far so good.

 

40 years old - never married. Sewed my oats for years. Finally found the one - not at all what I expected she would be. Finally taking the plunge.

what did I learn. Don’t marry the super hot ones, or the ones that blow you away in bed, or the ones that you want to show off to your friends.....marry the one who likes to do all the same shit as you and is the best person ever to hang out with everyday

 

Yep. When my wife was my girlfriend and asked for a skil saw for xmas, I knew it was a match. 25 years later it’s been great!!

 

Haha totally!!!

 

Yep, mine asked for me to take her to the gun range

 

This. I spent $400 on my wife's ring and she loved it..said it doesn't even have to be a diamond. It was, my friend sold it to me..which my wife knew and didn't care

 

I just got engaged on Sunday. Im 33, shes 36.

She asked for Weathertechs for xmas, and comes from a Toyota family. I think we're good.

but in all realness.. we met from online dating, hit it off right away. Dated for a year and a half. Havent fought; she lets me do my thing, i let her do hers. We just vibe well. I have 0 doubts

 

I met my wife via online dating as well when I was 31, we got married 2 years later. Online dating can be a shit show for sure, but on the other hand it does help you lay out exactly what you're looking for and meet someone with the same ideas in mind. Just have to weed through the mess of people that don't take it seriously

 

The moment I knew...

I had a CJ7 with a 350 Chevy in it when we started dating.

We were trail riding on easy trails and there was a side trail that I took and it went through a narrow but deep creek.

About halfway through she got scared and said please don’t go further because what if we get stuck.

So I said Sure and put it in reverse.

She sticks her head out right as I hit the hammer on the 350 in reverse and it completely covers her (mud tires of course). She looks like a muddy Swamp Thing.

I’m like Oh Crap!

She paused a moment to realize what just happened, then busted out laughing.

That was 25+ years ago and she is still just as awesome today!

 

that right there

 

Show her this post. You won’t have to worry about marrying her ever again.
Problem solved.

 

In the married world, the term is "domineering."

Good luck finding a bowling crew drinking brew on your hunting trip in the boondocks

 

not a matter Ur gf wife material...............

rather are U husband material

are U both compatible

many look at time spent & invested..............seldom the factor that matters

some are better at bf/gf than they will EVER be husband /wife

throw kids into the mix

#1 major complaint IS

“ she changed after getting pregnant. .............................................................. “


really ? ?? ??? ????

 

Man I definitely triggered some people with this post lol. I actually did show her the post, and we've talked about it before... My post was more directed at society, rather than my own relationship. Kind of like stepping into the batters box with a wild pitcher after watching the last 2 out of 3 guys get drilled in the face. No matter how confident of a hitter you are, theres always a little piece of you that wonders if you're going to get hit too.