Dick's Dank Yank Wank Tank

Potato out of ten 10: for hat grabbing ability

 

I knew this had to be a thing.

@tinker_troy

 

https://youtu.be/6xg45YROVTc

 

This is from a friend who is a huge KISS fan. He is otherwise an incredibly intelligent, insightful, and genuine human. So I give him a pass on this minor retardation.

I was raised in an extremely strict household, which was my mother’s doing, and I never felt that my parents really knew me as a person. They did, however, know my representative.

When I was growing up, my father and I weren’t exactly what you’d call “close.” We never really did father-and-son stuff together. His primary role as “dad” was to angrily spout advice on the odd occasion. He would say things like, “Study hard” and “Stay away from girls; they’re nothing but trouble.”

When I was a teenager, my father did help me smuggle a few hard rock records (aka contraband) into the house, which I thought was unusually cool, and his assistance made a lasting impression on me.

During my evening telephone call with my eighty-six-year-old father, I asked if he was watching sports. He replied with the following:

“I didn’t say this earlier, but I’m very sorry to hear that (Edward) Van Halen passed away. I know he meant a lot to you. I didn’t want to upset you; that’s why I haven’t brought it up.”

(Pause)

“You know, Van Halen was a much better band – musically speaking – than the shitty-ass KISS band you used to listen to.”

A small part of me curled up and died at that moment.

Growing up, I always listened to music privately through headphones. It’s a tradition that I carry with me to this day. Of all people, I thought my father didn’t care about, nor had any interest in the music I enjoyed. My mother did ask to listen to Ace Frehley’s 1978 solo album once, an experience that left her looking like she was hit by a truck, shrugging off an imaginary contact high, and shaking her head in utter disapproval.

But my dad?

Well, shock me!

• 

 

That kid is going places!

 

Love me a P-40 Warhawk!

 

That's disturbing.

 

I definitely wouldn’t eat scrambled eggs out of one.

 

Exactly

 

Mein Gott!

 

Those sadly are fake.

Like the band.

 

Ok

 

AND....