Whatever

Guy I know, he went and refueled his combine last week after a day of cutting. Went back the next morning and it was burnt down. Nobody saw nothing

 

We had one on fire this year too.

Caught it early, minimal damage to wiring, hydraulic lines and some plastic parts.

 

What you doing up in that neck of the woods?

 

Went to do a visit for my wifes dying mother.
Went to the Winchester house, stopped by the assisted living place (couldn't go in), window vist for a bit and then off to explore and teach the kid some history.

 

Beauty weather down there!

 

Wished it was a little colder.

 

Hows this for ya? Gotta love that feels like temp.

 

Warmish week.

 

I didn’t hear my zipper. Why are your lips moving?

 

Yeah going to be warm this week for hunting south of calgary. Im waaaay up north right now so its quite a bit more chilly. Still warm for this area though. Usually into the negatives up here already.

 

We break freezin’ tomorrow.
Just for one day.

 

Ol Winnipeg eh. You you guys get a bit of the cold weather too eh!

 

It comes from here.

 

Preface. Not my fault. The first two days on the trail we were smoking my brand. Did some quality tracking/sluething.
We had them in our sights at the little diner in Burnt Corn right off of County Rd 30 and CR 5. It was like a cross between Deliverance and Pulp Fiction. I shit you not, @Red Mud Ray 's wallet said "Bad Motherfucker" on it. You could see it because the letters were all rhinestones. He left it on the table all proud like. @NYCTaco52 didn't look too good. Ray looked pretty bad as well. Ben orders a plate of ketchup packets and black coffee. Ray is shooting coffee creamers and salt.
@JaCado orders French toast with no eggs. I'm like, 'dude, that's just toast'. He gives me 'The Look'. I avert my eyes and what do I see? @Hobbs strolling in with his dirty dungarees and a worn-ass Cheap Trick T-shirt. Wallet on a chain and a belt made from a bicycle inner tube tied in a big bow in front.
He plops down in our booth and starts talking all loud like, 'I came to collect all that back-rent from that crazy bitch that's been living in my trailer down by the landfill estates community. They have an HOA!'. We tried to present the gravity of the situation but the cat was out of the bag. Poor Ray looks over and instantly recognized Jay's gnarly beard and 'The Look'.
Ray chucks a fiver on the table and they haul ass to the Cuda.
@Hobbs finally grasps what's happening and starts crying and convulsing screaming 'He's not dead!!!! And the Cuda runs!!!'. There is no consoling him so Jay slaps the shit outta him. Slobber slinger. 'We gotta go asshole!' Jay booms. Hobby says, 'let's take my truck. I got all those mods and shit'. Whatever.
I didn't even argue with Jay and let him ride shotgun. We see the Cuda heading north on CR 5 and heard them talking about heading to Skinnerton and hitting 83 North. Jay sparks one of his brand.
It ain't 2 miles before Jay starts bitching about his IBSC and starts dropping ass. Some with real texture. Hobbs is getting pissed and I'm sucking air from the back window. Hotel California is playing.
Jay turns to Hobbs with some in-your-face-lyrics on the part 'you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave'. I'm fucking dying in the back seat and can just make out the black widow spider hanging from the rear view mirror when Jay sees it and it swings over and latches on his beard. OH FUCK!!! He starts wailing in tongues and punching himself in the face, and shits himself. This is all more than Hobbs is willing to digest so he pulls over. I'm fucking cracking up!!!
Anyway, they get out of the truck and start arguing and Jay is chasing Hobbs around backwards leading with his stinky butt. I roll my eyes, light up a Marlboro, and started walking and called in an Uber to Skinnerton.
So, we lost 'em...

 

Uh...guys. Are Canadians allowed to make fun of other Canadians?

 

Stimulates blood flow so you don’t freeze cock stiff.

 

what??




I had a boss who had a bad motherfucker wallet.