Teenage rebellion?

Is there a such thing? Or is it just bad parenting?

My brother, who is 16, has been acting out lately. He's always disrespecting my mom, disrespecting me, and acting stupid. I've caught him skipping school, his grades have dropped (is in all honors classes) and it's tearing my family apart. He's always looking for a way to turn an argument in his favor, even when he is in the wrong.

Our step-father is in the military and isn't home to keep things straight, so I am the man of the house. At times I really wanna take his face and drive it right into my knee, but I know this will solve nothing. Is this normal for his age? Or should I break his face.

 

A little beat down to show that there is always someone bigger and badder than him doesn't seem wrong. I went through that phase too but not that bad. Got a beating from my cousin and a talk afterward.

 

You can try a beat down and see if he decide to changing his attitude. I'm Asian so I grew up getting my ass beat for getting out of line.

 

Its not bad parenting. My youngest sister did the same thing. My middle sister and myself (I'm the oldest) were good kids and I think my parents did an excellent job raising us all. My youngest sister is still in the phase a little but she is growing out of it now that she is in college (19 yrs old). Some are just harder than others.

I think the father figure being away has a big impact on that though. My sister didn't start her rebellion until my dad took a new job and started traveling 4-5 days a week. My mom worked also. I do think not having my dad around during the week to give her a kick in the pants had an influence on her bevahior. She has always been an independent person though.

 

It's the age plus the peer pressure from friends. After raising 3 kids and now seeing what they are going through with their kids, times are much different then when I was a kid growing up. I was taught respect by the back of the hand if I mouthed off. Now if you even threaten to raise your hand, the kids call the cops or tell them at school that they have been abused. Many kids try to push the envelope to see what they can get away with. Hopefully, in your case he'll wise up and realize he can't go on disrepecting you and your Mom as it will only alienate him from the family. Maybe a mild ass whooping will help, and then a talking to about the facts of life.

 

Show him some "Tough Love" you can't let some go around disrespecting you and your mother , but rember he's your brother and he's only 16.

 

x2 i remember very well, getting the belt or whatever was the closest thing around to get the beating with when i screwed up. i say times have changed for the worst and any little thing a parent does to correct the child the cops are called, IMO thats bullshit. let the parents do their job and let everyone else outside the family mind their own business, i could understand if it was a child abuse situation, but it clearly isnt. if the family lets this continue it will get worst and he will go through life thinking he can get away with anything wrong he does. so i say give him an ass kicking but remember its family and not some crackhead youre dealing with.

 

Yeah, I grew up old school with a beat down if proper respect for elders was violated. Question I have for kids nowadays that think they rule the house and parents are there to serve them...........If your dumb ass tells someone that you are being abused by having to endure disciplinary measures to curb your fucked up perspective, where do you think you'll end up when you are removed from your home and taken away from the bad people who want you to understand you have limits and are not in charge? Do you think foster care will be better than doing what is asked of you? Do you think something that retarded will make anything better for anyone? You'll sure have to start thinkin after it plays out and the end result is you've just shit on yourself more than anyone else. Kids need to know their fuckin place and pay attention to how bad other kids around the world really have it compared to where they are.


***None of this applies to households with actual abusive problems***

 

You think he is smoking a lot of dope? Or just being a dope? Either way a small ass whooping would be warranted, I wish my brother would have when I was younger.

 

Step-dads away and mom can't watch him 24/7 so he feels like he can do whatever he wants. Next time he disrespects mom, walk up and clock him. If that doesn't knock some sense into him nothing will.

 

Try words and follow through with threats of punishment. Take his phone away till he gets it for a few days. If he doesn't then you take from him to the basics he needs. If he pushes his disrespect to a physical stage then restrain with prejudice till authorities arrive for a talking to.

 

sit him down n have a beer with him. have a "man-to-man" talk about being respectful n responsible otherwise if he does something really bad its all on him. -this would also help if u have a cool cop friend. IMO

 

Im in the same spot with my lil sis (14)

Sometimes i just want to "Chris Brown" her but shes always threatening me that shes going to call the police..

Any suggestions?

 

try the pep talk with a beer like he's becoming a man, then if he fucks up again knock him around and continue to make things harder on him til he gets his shit together...

 

woop his ass, I know if I was acting out and my brother wooped me id thank him later

 

Not to start an argument but these kinds of comments kinda get my goat if you know what i mean. I am in these "kids" age group just having turned 21 so i can see where you are coming from. our generation is full of brats and assholes. BUT this is not our fault. We were not raised very well, as a generation. There were people, like my parents, who were not afraid to smack us around a little when we fucked up. and i know many people who had parents the same way and they turned out fine. it is just the parents that are afraid to stand up for themselves and say no when no needs to be said. I dont want to say its not fair to blame the kids because yes, they need to be responsible for their own actions but it is also the responsibility of their parents/guardians to teach them how to behave.

Ok, I am getting off my soap box now.

 

No argument necessary. 1st and foremost, I'm not lumping all kids together, exceptions abound. Also can't blame kids past a certain point for being product of their environment. Parents make or break said environment. All kids want to play and fuck off and do what they want when they want and it's up to parents to slam the door when it goes too far and also to provide a constructive path for kids to start taking on responsibility for themselves and their future at appropriate points. If there is a missing parent or neglect of any sort going on then shit goes wrong. It'd be nuts to blame someone for how they turned out with no proper guidance and nurturing, especially in today's world with so much bad to get caught up in. That would come when they are shown the right way and choose to be spoiled ass entitlement minded punks anyway. I applaud you for knowing the difference and applaud your parents for providing you an environment and upbringing to know the difference.

 

x2 sponge bob is a destructive shit.

hold him down and whoop his ass. then let him know the ass whooping will continue for as long as his shitty attitude continues.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNuFf-HwBUc

 

Growing up with an Irish father and an Italian mother, I can tell you, we learned quick not to step far out of line. We were allowed some leniency (sp?) but even up till when I moved out, all my father had to do was look at me a certain way and I knew I was out of line. Now, with that said, I also have two of the most loving parents I've ever seen. Just something that has to be done.

My brother-in-law is very much like the OP's brother. Unfortunately my father-in-law was killed in 9/11 and he was the one that always kept him in line. My mother-in-law is afraid of him and doesn't want to start a confrontation. I tried sitting him down a few times with a man-to-man chat but it never worked. One of his biggest problems was going out and staying out all night cause to this day he still doesn't have any type of job (he's 20 which is rediculous). My temporary cure for that was to take him on landscaping jobs with me to wear him out so much that he was too tired to go out afterwards. Worked for the summer but not long term. Him and I have gotten into it pretty good physically but there's not a whole lot I can do unless his mother enforces it. He won't even help her around the house. I tried explaining he's the man of the house and it's his job to take care of his mother but he still expects her to take care of him (she even calls and orders take out for him).

With all that said, and sorry for the rant, as his brother, I think you should knock him around a little and put him in line. I believe one day he'll thank you for it.