Whatever

Hey whatevers. Been away for a bit ever since work went into overdrive and became the biggest dumpster fire i've seen in 5 years. Shit's gone down, people got canned, and I'm 3 months behind on all my booshit.

 

Just think of how many cops you will be able to outrun!!

 

You were saving that for this moment.

 

I presume you still have a job though?

 

Is that your house?

Uh, Bob...sweetie...let's leave the jokes to @TacomaDave, ok?

 

Or get lucky and have them receive a more important call.

 

Random.... ready for lift off

 

Neighbors house

 

So, an American from Florida goes on vacation to the French Riviera. He walks up and down the beach but no women even give him a second glance.
He sees a Frenchman surrounded by beautiful, young women and calls him aside...
“Excuse me, I’m not having any luck with the ladies. Can you give me some advice?”
The Frenchie looks him over and replies “Of course monsieur, I can help you. This is what to do. Go to the store and buy for yourself a teeny little sweeming suit. Then the ladies will love you.”
So the American did what he said but still no luck. He returned to the Frenchman.
“Okay my American friend, this is what to do. Go to the market. Buy a large potato. Put it in your sweeming suit and then the ladies will love you.”
So again he did as directed but now things were worse. People were avoiding him. He returned to his French buddy.
“Okay, here is what to do. Move the potato to the front of the sweeming suit.”

 

Spoiler: Random

 

Random

 

All my randoms are of an old lady !!!