Took a second! (Them Dumb Moments) Own it!

Just be happy you didn't put the milk in the cabinet and the cereal in the fridge

 

Alright. I'll post an old one and a new one.

Old news: what's the best place to store cast iron in a camper before you go full send down a gravel trail? Apparently I thought that the bench where the water pump and filter are located was a good spot for that.





Last night's story: My dog patrols the kitchen like a menace. I know this. I know to keep a tight lid on the trash can and the dishwasher shut, because the dog has no boundaries with taste. So last night in the middle of watching Doom Patrol or whatever, this terrible crash comes from the kitchen. Like five full seconds and then some, of glass shattering. It sounded like someone walked up to grandma's china hutch and emptied it with a casual arm sweep.

So I investigated. The kitchen floor was full of broken dishes, the dishwasher rack was on the other side of the kitchen, and wedged in the corner of the rack was Evee's dog tag and a bent key ring from where it obviously ripped off from her collar.

So apparently I forgot to close the dishwasher when putting my glass in there last night.


Dammit Evee.

 

Forgetting to close a cabinet I get... do it all the time, but how do you not close the dishwasher and it not get in the way?! What kinda fancy ass dishwasher you got?!

 

The kind where I leave the kitchen out a different door than I walked in from. And yeah, I have a narrow galley style kitchen, I trip over the dishwasher more often than I should.

 

i was once doing a brake job on my hatchback, which also needed some hatchback struts. they held the hatch up fine, but would only push the hatch halfway up and then I would push it up all the way. I was changing these in my parking lot, and I had the new brake pads in the back, so after i had the car jacked up, wheels off, calipers off, and pads off, i went to get the new pads out of the back

Can't really remember what it was, but i dropped something and wouldn't you know it (because i do dumb shit) - when i went to stand up after picking it up, I fully slammed the top of my forehead into a corner of the hatch which was not pushed all the way up. split open a 1" gash which looked like it needed stitches but my car was all apart. so I cleaned it up, made myself a butterfly, finished my brake job, and then drove to the ER for 4 or 5 stitches.

 

@The Blonde opens the fridge and says... “Why did you put the honey in here?!”

“Cause I was drunk AF! Duh!”

 

Called Food Lion and asked if i had forgotten one of my bags at the grocery store. Told the lady my hamburger was missing. Sweet little lady says no , she doesn't see one , but if i come back , they would gladly give me another pack. I grab my keys to head back there and think i better take my receipt. Open the trash can to get my receipt and there was my pack of hamburger.

 

My wife is 5'2", I'm 5'11". I will go out to help bring the groceries in (in the evening) and discover (the hard way) that she didn't push the hatch up all the way... There is something about hitting your head that makes you instantly furious.

 

Just tried to cut the steak with the back side of my knife! FFS!

 

Dupid

 

Then you are ready for the Texas steak challenge

 

Mowed grass in the high wind today.... talk about stupid

 

Peed in a high wind....stupider.

 

Sad part is...we probably all been there!!

 

Could have been on an electric fence

 

Tried it once to see what the hype was about. Not recommended.

 

I have been shocked 9 times in my life, 4 were memorable.
1... around 9 years old, in a horse pen. Along the wall off the stable/building there was a wire that ran about 3 feet off the ground. Pulled taught, I had no idea it was even there. I leaned against the wall, next thing I know. I was on the ground and my body hurt like fuck. I can't remember the voltage, but think it was close to 25k.

Next, I took a lamp apart in my room, didn't bother to unplug it from the wall.
After I removed the bulb. I stuck my finger into the socket. yeah that hurt.

The other two are almost distant memories, as I began to set myself on fire twice

 

I never have dumb moments. Ever.