Whatever

Good morning whateverers

 

Good Afternoon

 

That's the cards we were dealt I guess

Morning Dave

 

You're a good sport there, Old Spice.

 

And neither am I

 

So, a woman is having an affair and suddenly her husband comes home unexpectedly. Her lover quickly hides in the closet.
He hears a little boy.
“It sure is dark in here. Want to buy my baseball? Only $250.00”
“What? No!”
“Okay. Then lets go introduce you to my dad”
“No. Wait! I’ll buy it!”
A week later, same thing happens. The lover hides in the closet.
“It sure is dark in here. Want to buy my baseball glove? Only $250.00”
“Yeah, sure kid. I’ll buy it”
A few days later the dad asks the kid if he wants to play catch.
“We can’t. I sold my ball and glove for $500.00”
“Son, that’s terrible! You shouldn’t have cheated your friend like that. I’m taking you to church to confess”
He goes in the confessional.
“It sure is dark in here”
“You’re gonna start that shit again?”

 

Spoiler: Hey postrates

 

Speaking of confessionals…
Due to the pandemic, the Catholic Churches are doing drive in confession.
It’s called “Toot and tell or go to hell”

 

Speaking of confessionals…
An altar boy goes to confession…
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"

"Yes, Father, it is."

"And who was the girl you were with?"

"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"

"I cannot say."

"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"

"I'll never tell."

"Was it Nina Capelli?"

"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."

"Was it Cathy Piriano?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"

"Four months vacation and five good leads!"

 

Speaking of confessionals…
A doctor goes to confession…

“Bless me father, for I have sinned”

“And what was the nature of your sin, my son?”

“I had sex with three of my patients. I know it was wrong and unethical. I feel so guilty.”

“You must learn to forgive yourself. You’re not the first doctor who had sex with a patient and won’t be the last. Now, go and sin no more. By the way, I’m having a pain in my back. Can I make an appointment?”

“Oh, I’m sorry Father. I’m a veterinarian.”

 

Ha. There is no runner up. Case closed.

 

Yes

 

Ghost ride that MF’er down the river.

 

They make great tool boxes. Also good to poop in so you don’t have to crap your pants.

 

Rained 17 inches here yesterday supposed to rain tomorrow thurs and fri