Still think TITNC3: Return of the Iceberg was peak

GarlicFarts · May 18, 2021

kairo[OP] said: ↑

Tulsa, OK
Click to expand...

Enough to drive anyone insane.

kairo[OP] said: ↑

why he would need 500 heads of cabbage
Click to expand...

Breakfast.

kairo[OP] said: ↑

At the end of the day, we can be certain that either he was a victim of a scam, or we are. Ornamental gourd futures do not exist, but TheEmperorOfJenks does. Whether you laugh about this, feel sorry for him, or both, he is a beyond bizarre character. It was entertaining to research him and ornamental gourd futures, so thank you emperor.
Click to expand...

Sounds like an amazing troll just having fun.

98tacoma27 · May 18, 2021

GarlicFarts said: ↑

While I may have exaggerated my numbers as hyperbole, you did the math and that's still O,O a shit load of money. Nearly a billion dollars playing the short game. That's the thing is they're playing the game this long making so much in the meantime, they're smart enough/have the game rigged enough in their favor that even when "we" do make out like bandits at 500, 1k+ a share, they're still going to have a profit.

Call it pessimism in the system whatever you want. I don't disagree that there may be a sqozation nation and the price will go up and all these people buying a ton of shares are going to get a ton of money, but I think the "stick it to the hedgies" rhetoric is a bit misplaced, it's like saying you're sticking it to Oreo by buying Chips Ahoy instead, National Biscuit Company owns both
Click to expand...

Oreo's are just knock off Hydrox. Everyone knows that.

Fohu · May 18, 2021

Reminded me of one of my fave you tubers digs really deep into a lot of old viral vids
https://youtu.be/MN-LZhIIzf0

kairo · May 18, 2021

GarlicFarts said: ↑

Enough to drive anyone insane.

Breakfast.

Sounds like an amazing troll just having fun.
Click to expand...

Um...I didn't write that. I copied it all off a reddit post. Just the top part was my writing where I said he's a 10/10 troll lol

GeoTachnical · May 18, 2021

kairo[OP] said: ↑

Ornamental gourd futures guy gets into all sorts of shenanigans. He finally got sick of his massive failures and was last heard from fleeing to South America, leaving behind the mecca of Tulsa, OK. 10/10 troll account. Poor thing even got burned buying fake precious metals (Rhodium).

It would appear he's happily bee farming in Uruguay now.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Beekeeping/comments/n1jnte/my_humble_apiary_near_melo_uruguay/

Emperor Of Jenks (TL;DR youtube video

Late one night, I was scrolling WallStreetBets, and I came across this post and found it pretty funny. The OP, named TheEmperorOfJenks, describes how he lost his entire life savings on a risky financial instrument. This is actually really common for WSB, but the way this OP claims to have lost his savings was particularly egregious.

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.

WSB is a crazy place, known for SEC drama, trolls, tremendous losses, and people drinking their own urine. So, I wanted to get to the bottom of whether this guy was making a meme, or whether this was real.

I began looking into his post history, and things got really weird, so I wanted to investigate the meme, the myth, the legend, TheEmperorOfJenks. At first I assumed this was a meme, but as I discovered more and more about him, I really am starting to think that this is real, or at least somewhat real.

Before we examine anything gourd related, looking through his profile, you’ll see most of his posts are about Tulsa, Oklahoma. In fact, the sheer volume of posts about Tulsa are overwhelming. He’s made memes about Tulsa, he’s posted pictures he says he’s taken in Tulsa, and he’s even made a 3D printed topographical map of Tulsa.

The first weird occurrence in his profile is this topographical map. TheEmperorOfJenks 3D printed an inaccurate topographical map of Oklahoma. He didn’t even generate the design, he literally just printed it. Despite only reaching a few hundred upvotes, an article was written about it in an Oklahoman Newspaper.

This is a little odd, but on its own, it would be sort of mundane. An internet user made something, and someone made an article about it. But as we dig more into who TheEmperorOfJenks is, things are going to become increasingly bizarre.

Before anything else, I want to address his username. What are the Jenks? Are they a group of people? A joke? A name?

No. “The Jenks” is a city in Tulsa, Oklahoma. It seems to be a reference to another reddit user named “ThePopeOfCherryStreet”, which is another city in Tulsa. In a comment made recently TheEmperor says “FYI I am not affiliated with the pope and his numerous alt accounts in any sense other and i find him hilarious (and, quite frankly, sad). My username is definitely an homage though.”

Another associated user is BigAssGlassOfGourd. He seems to have created his account after the WSB post as a joke.

Now, let’s dive into his profile.

In a post titled “Where to buy cabbage in bulk?”, the Emperor says “Hey Tulsa, I need to buy bulk green cabbage for a project, probably in the range of 400-500 heads. Does anyone know of a place nearby where I could find that many?

Thanks!”

What does this mean? Why would someone need to buy cabbage in bulk? Is it an agricultural investment?

This is where we can see his eccentric personality come to light.

One of the commenters dared to ask why he would need 500 heads of cabbage, and TheEmperorOfJenks gladly elaborated:

“Long story. My cousin just installed a heated pool in his backyard about a couple months ago. Last week we were drunk watching an OU game and decided fuck it, what if we made a massive vat of cabbage soup in the pool (we'd drain it and clean it out before hand), package it in disposable containers, and give it away to anyone who wants it in Northeast Oklahoma.”

This seems even more strange than the ornamental gourd futures story, but when we think about what he’s saying, it gets more weird. He thought about this idea a week ago when he was drunk. Presumably, he’s now sober, and it’s a week later, and this thought is still in his mind? This is laying the groundwork for a pattern we’ll see more of later. (that he gets an idea and sticks with it for a long time.)

There are three other posts on his account that I quickly wanted to point out. The first post is titled “Looking to buy horse”. TheEmperorOfJenks says his car was repossessed, which happens when you are unable to afford payments on it. Instead of owning a car, he theorizes that a horse would be more practical in the long run.

The second odd post I wanted to point is titled “Need to buy helium tank”. In this post, TheEmperorOfJenks simply asks “Does anyone know where they sell stuff like that.”

These posts were made very close together in the timeline of the Emperor, and they are both so bizarre and cryptic, it’s really hard to read into them. They can help us paint a picture of his personality, and they make me question if this is actually real and not a meme.

Earlier I said that there were three, and I’ve only pointed out two so far. Now that we have a clearer understanding of who he is, we can begin to look into the big question that led us down this rabbit hole. The third one is where we can begin to uncover the mystery of gourd futures.

In a post titled “Where to buy gourds”, the Emperor says “I'm looking to buy ornamental gourds in bulk for a project. I need probably 1500 or so. Does anyone know of a local farm that grows them? Thanks!”

This is similar to the other posts asking where to buy things, and once again, he asks if other Tulsans know where to buy weird things. But this time, he gives us reasoning for why he wants them:

Due to local fluctuations in the tropopause, the jet stream has been shifting rapidly in a counterclockwise vector, causing a rapid disincorporation of the Hadley vortex cells in the lower ionosphere. Because of this, the geostrophic solar wind balance has deteriorated rapidly in the northern hemisphere. In essence, autumnal weather patterns in the western United States will lead to the biggest ornamental gourd yield in recorded history. Investing in gourd agricultural futures could likely produce up to $1600 per day in passive income. However, investing at the apex of the curve would be the most conducive to profit as the arbitrage (particularly 12b-1 fees) will develop at a market share higher than the back-end load. Basically, no one will be able to buy the stock at a higher price than you, and all value invested will be retained. A preliminary market penetration investment of $50,000 would be most efficient in generating this revenue.

Another post, in r/investing, titled “invest in gourd agricultural futures”, presumably urges other users to invest in gourd agricultural futures. I would be able to explain more, but the mods at r/investing deleted the post.

Now, this lends a lot of credibility to the theory that the gourd story is real. He seems to have done actual research regarding gourd yields.

But as you read into what he’s saying, things don’t make sense. I asked a meteorologist friend of mine, and he said that none of that means anything, it’s just gibberish.

Before I go any further, I want to bring your attention to another post the Emperor made on the Tulsa subreddit. The post titled “Caught this monstrous carp today behind the keystone dam”, shows a picture of a man holding a huge carp.

This post seems normal, but when you look in the comments, you’ll notice something weird. A commenter says “Gonna call bullshit. Post from 2017 on a German website.” The commenter seems to have done a reverse image search on the photo he posted.

The emperor lied about catching this fish. Why did he do that? Why was it worth lying about catching a carp like that for a hundred and fifty upvotes?

This is so beyond weird.

So far, here’s what we know about TheEmperorOfJenks:

We know he wants to buy weird things. We know he lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. We know he has a weird, eccentric personality. We know he lied about catching a fish. We also know a little bit about his financials.

In his earlier post about buying a horse, The Emperor mentions his car got repo’d. He didn’t have the money to make his payments. In the original post, we learned that he invested $17,500 in ornamental gourd futures. He says that this is 6 months salary and his life savings, so it’s safe to assume that he is making something around $30,000 a year. Even though Tulsa is a relatively cheap place to live, $30,000 a year is not a lot of money for somebody with such strange purchasing habits. Considering the average car payment is going to total $6,000 a year, these numbers seem to add up.

Now let’s go back to the gourd futures. A futures contract is a financial instrument where someone pays a premium to buy a product at an agreed upon price at an agreed upon date. Futures contracts are usually traded on exchanges, and a company called CME group has the largest agricultural futures exchange in the world.

Through all of my research on this topic, I have not come across a single exchange offering gourd futures.

Now, that means that there are 2 remaining explanations. Either 1) he entered into a futures contract with a gourd farmer directly, or 2) this has all been an elaborate meme.

It’s easier to brush everything on the internet off as a meme, but I’d like to investigate the first option before we come to that conclusion.

The easiest way to investigate is to find farmers in Oklahoma that sell bulk quantities of gourds. I called about a dozen farms and farmers markets located in Oklahoma to see if they knew of anywhere that grew and sold gourds in the quantities TheEmperor was describing.

After about an hour, I came up with no results.

I wanted to look more into the futures situation he was describing, so I did some research. The average gourd weighs between 5lbs and 15lbs. In the original post, he claims that gourds this year were gargantuan, weighing up to 4lbs each. This is demonstrably not gargantuan, and would in fact be quite small for a gourd.

This, along with the nonsense reply he gave in an earlier post, and the fact that I could not find any gourd farms of that magnitude, make me really doubt that this actually occurred. However, I do have a theory that would explain everything:

Based on his posts, I think that the real explanation isn’t that this is a meme. I think that he probably was the victim of a scam.

Stock market scams have existed as long as the stock market. From Madoff to Enron to the Wolf of Wall Street, we know that these things happen.

Most of his account, with the exception of the fish photo, seem to be genuine. And the fish photo seems like he was just trying to brag to his neighbors. He seems to be a real person in Oklahoma who has crazy ideas. We know that he is impulsive, and is quick to act on poor decisions, like the cabbage story.

I think he received a call or an email telling him about an investment opportunity in gourd futures, and he wanted to make easy money. The scammer gave him worthless futures and gish gallopped him with meaningless scientific gibberish. The scammer could have been leading him on, and then finally told him that his futures were practically worthless.

At the end of the day, we can be certain that either he was a victim of a scam, or we are. Ornamental gourd futures do not exist, but TheEmperorOfJenks does. Whether you laugh about this, feel sorry for him, or both, he is a beyond bizarre character. It was entertaining to research him and ornamental gourd futures, so thank you emperor.
Click to expand...

I appreciate your investigative efforts, however I am concerned for your well being. He’s probably just a troll saying ridiculous things for attention.

edit: I see you just copied and pasted it, never mind, I am concerned for the OP of that post.

kairo · May 18, 2021

GeoTachnical said: ↑

I appreciate your investigative efforts, however I am concerned for your well being. He’s probably just a troll saying ridiculous things for attention.
Click to expand...

I copied it off of a reddit post...

5nahalf · May 18, 2021

Fohu said: ↑

Reminded me of one of my fave you tubers digs really deep into a lot of old viral vids
https://youtu.be/MN-LZhIIzf0
Click to expand...

Love that channel, also "internet historian"... the capture the flag series was probably the best

GarlicFarts · May 18, 2021

kairo[OP] said: ↑

Um...I didn't write that. I copied it all off a reddit post. Just the top part was my writing where I said he's a 10/10 troll lol
Click to expand...

I figured as much. Is an 11/10 troll though. I think he figured it would be obvious after Ornamental Gourds didn't exist. But then nobody picked up on that. So he just had a drunk activity of seeing how far /WSB would let him go.

TreeFortRichard · May 18, 2021

GarlicFarts said: ↑

I figured as much. Is an 11/10 troll though. I think he figured it would be obvious after Ornamental Gourds didn't exist. But then nobody picked up on that. So he just had a drunk activity of seeing how far /WSB would let him go.
Click to expand...

But...but...
https://www.thespruce.com/growing-a-variety-of-ornamental-gourds-1403515

rmepilot · May 18, 2021

kairo[OP] said: ↑

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING VIETNAM! I'm not even going through the past 10 pages. Anything exciting happen while I was working?
Click to expand...

I did this today...

kairo · May 18, 2021

rmepilot said: ↑

I did this today...

Click to expand...

Noice!

rmepilot · May 18, 2021

kairo[OP] said: ↑

Noice!
Click to expand...

I haven’t flown a helicopter since Oct. 2012. Today was a good day.

kairo · May 18, 2021

rmepilot said: ↑

I haven’t flown a helicopter since Oct. 2012. Today was a good day.

Click to expand...

What type were you up in? Do any combat maneuvers???

Iwilltaco · May 18, 2021

rmepilot said: ↑

I haven’t flown a helicopter since Oct. 2012. Today was a good day.

Click to expand...

Looks like it was a great day for the views
You remember how after that many years?

rmepilot · May 18, 2021

kairo[OP] said: ↑

What type were you up in? Do any combat maneuvers???
Click to expand...

AW119Kx.

No combat maneuvers. These are training aircraft for one of our customers. I did complete an RNAV approach into KPNE.

I'm just glad they let me fly, instead of a back seat ride along.

rmepilot · May 18, 2021

Iwilltaco said: ↑

Looks like it was a great day for the views
You remember how after that many years?
Click to expand...

kairo · May 18, 2021

rmepilot said: ↑

AW119Kx.

No combat maneuvers. These are training aircraft for one of our customers. I did complete an RNAV approach into KPNE.

I'm just glad they let me fly, instead of a back seat ride along.
Click to expand...

Was it like getting back on a bicycle? Still remember your procedures and how to shoot the RNAV and all that?

TreeFortRichard · May 18, 2021

rmepilot said: ↑

I did this today...

Click to expand...

kairo[OP] said: ↑

What type were you up in? Do any combat maneuvers???
Click to expand...

He was practicing autorotation landings in his Pitcairn PCA-2

TreeFortRichard · May 18, 2021

That's the inspiration for the 'autogyro' in the movie Annie...
I always thought it was the craziest looking thing ever and couldn't believe it was a real vehicle...
https://youtu.be/1it1kNXiD54?t=201

kairo · May 18, 2021

TreeFortRichard said: ↑

That's the inspiration for the 'autogyro' in the movie Annie...
I always thought it was the craziest looking thing ever and couldn't believe it was a real vehicle...
https://youtu.be/1it1kNXiD54?t=201
Click to expand...

@rmepilot out there like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6y7aoCsiSk

Log in or Sign up

Welcome to Tacoma World!

Still think TITNC3: Return of the Iceberg was peak

#24861
GarlicFarts Bertolli Roberto

#24862
98tacoma27 is going full "SANDWICH" Moderator

#24863
Fohu Well-Known Member

#24864
kairo [OP] >_>

#24865
GeoTachnical Well-Known Member

#24866
kairo [OP] >_>

#24867
5nahalf I build dumb things

#24868
GarlicFarts Bertolli Roberto

#24869
TreeFortRichard Barcelona Red is the best red...

#24870
rmepilot Well-Known Member

#24871
kairo [OP] >_>

#24872
rmepilot Well-Known Member

#24873
kairo [OP] >_>

#24874
Iwilltaco Well-Known Member

#24875
rmepilot Well-Known Member

#24876
rmepilot Well-Known Member

#24877
kairo [OP] >_>

#24878
TreeFortRichard Barcelona Red is the best red...

#24879
TreeFortRichard Barcelona Red is the best red...

#24880
kairo [OP] >_>

Products Discussed in

Log in or Sign up

Useful Searches

Welcome to Tacoma World!

Still think TITNC3: Return of the Iceberg was peak

#24861 GarlicFarts Bertolli Roberto

#24862 98tacoma27 is going full "SANDWICH" Moderator

#24863 Fohu Well-Known Member

#24864 kairo [OP] >_>

#24865 GeoTachnical Well-Known Member

#24866 kairo [OP] >_>

#24867 5nahalf I build dumb things

#24868 GarlicFarts Bertolli Roberto

#24869 TreeFortRichard Barcelona Red is the best red...

#24870 rmepilot Well-Known Member

#24871 kairo [OP] >_>

#24872 rmepilot Well-Known Member

#24873 kairo [OP] >_>

#24874 Iwilltaco Well-Known Member

#24875 rmepilot Well-Known Member

#24876 rmepilot Well-Known Member

#24877 kairo [OP] >_>

#24878 TreeFortRichard Barcelona Red is the best red...

#24879 TreeFortRichard Barcelona Red is the best red...

#24880 kairo [OP] >_>

Products Discussed in Entire Site Forum: Stocks & Investments Thread: Still think TITNC3: Return of the Iceberg was peak

#24861
GarlicFarts Bertolli Roberto

#24862
98tacoma27 is going full "SANDWICH" Moderator

#24863
Fohu Well-Known Member

#24864
kairo [OP] >_>

#24865
GeoTachnical Well-Known Member

#24866
kairo [OP] >_>

#24867
5nahalf I build dumb things

#24868
GarlicFarts Bertolli Roberto

#24869
TreeFortRichard Barcelona Red is the best red...

#24870
rmepilot Well-Known Member

#24871
kairo [OP] >_>

#24872
rmepilot Well-Known Member

#24873
kairo [OP] >_>

#24874
Iwilltaco Well-Known Member

#24875
rmepilot Well-Known Member

#24876
rmepilot Well-Known Member

#24877
kairo [OP] >_>

#24878
TreeFortRichard Barcelona Red is the best red...

#24879
TreeFortRichard Barcelona Red is the best red...

#24880
kairo [OP] >_>

Products Discussed in