Still think TITNC3: Return of the Iceberg was peak

kairo · May 18, 2021

I went into a store today and it had a sign on it that said "Vaccinated? No mask required" So I'm like hell yah, and in I went. Felt like a damned criminal. Now that's some social conditioning over the last year.

scottstrong89 · May 18, 2021

kairo[OP] said: ↑

Ornamental gourd futures guy gets into all sorts of shenanigans. He finally got sick of his massive failures and was last heard from fleeing to South America, leaving behind the mecca of Tulsa, OK. 10/10 troll account. Poor thing even got burned buying fake precious metals (Rhodium).

It would appear he's happily bee farming in Uruguay now.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Beekeeping/comments/n1jnte/my_humble_apiary_near_melo_uruguay/

YOU GUYS, I DIDN'T WRITE THIS, I COPIED IT OFF OF REDDIT. JUST THE TEXT ABOVE THIS IS MINE.

THIS IS FROM REDDIT: Emperor Of Jenks (TL;DR youtube video)

Late one night, I was scrolling WallStreetBets, and I came across this post and found it pretty funny. The OP, named TheEmperorOfJenks, describes how he lost his entire life savings on a risky financial instrument. This is actually really common for WSB, but the way this OP claims to have lost his savings was particularly egregious.

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.

WSB is a crazy place, known for SEC drama, trolls, tremendous losses, and people drinking their own urine. So, I wanted to get to the bottom of whether this guy was making a meme, or whether this was real.

I began looking into his post history, and things got really weird, so I wanted to investigate the meme, the myth, the legend, TheEmperorOfJenks. At first I assumed this was a meme, but as I discovered more and more about him, I really am starting to think that this is real, or at least somewhat real.

Before we examine anything gourd related, looking through his profile, you’ll see most of his posts are about Tulsa, Oklahoma. In fact, the sheer volume of posts about Tulsa are overwhelming. He’s made memes about Tulsa, he’s posted pictures he says he’s taken in Tulsa, and he’s even made a 3D printed topographical map of Tulsa.

The first weird occurrence in his profile is this topographical map. TheEmperorOfJenks 3D printed an inaccurate topographical map of Oklahoma. He didn’t even generate the design, he literally just printed it. Despite only reaching a few hundred upvotes, an article was written about it in an Oklahoman Newspaper.

This is a little odd, but on its own, it would be sort of mundane. An internet user made something, and someone made an article about it. But as we dig more into who TheEmperorOfJenks is, things are going to become increasingly bizarre.

Before anything else, I want to address his username. What are the Jenks? Are they a group of people? A joke? A name?

No. “The Jenks” is a city in Tulsa, Oklahoma. It seems to be a reference to another reddit user named “ThePopeOfCherryStreet”, which is another city in Tulsa. In a comment made recently TheEmperor says “FYI I am not affiliated with the pope and his numerous alt accounts in any sense other and i find him hilarious (and, quite frankly, sad). My username is definitely an homage though.”

Another associated user is BigAssGlassOfGourd. He seems to have created his account after the WSB post as a joke.

Now, let’s dive into his profile.

In a post titled “Where to buy cabbage in bulk?”, the Emperor says “Hey Tulsa, I need to buy bulk green cabbage for a project, probably in the range of 400-500 heads. Does anyone know of a place nearby where I could find that many?

Thanks!”

What does this mean? Why would someone need to buy cabbage in bulk? Is it an agricultural investment?

This is where we can see his eccentric personality come to light.

One of the commenters dared to ask why he would need 500 heads of cabbage, and TheEmperorOfJenks gladly elaborated:

“Long story. My cousin just installed a heated pool in his backyard about a couple months ago. Last week we were drunk watching an OU game and decided fuck it, what if we made a massive vat of cabbage soup in the pool (we'd drain it and clean it out before hand), package it in disposable containers, and give it away to anyone who wants it in Northeast Oklahoma.”

This seems even more strange than the ornamental gourd futures story, but when we think about what he’s saying, it gets more weird. He thought about this idea a week ago when he was drunk. Presumably, he’s now sober, and it’s a week later, and this thought is still in his mind? This is laying the groundwork for a pattern we’ll see more of later. (that he gets an idea and sticks with it for a long time.)

There are three other posts on his account that I quickly wanted to point out. The first post is titled “Looking to buy horse”. TheEmperorOfJenks says his car was repossessed, which happens when you are unable to afford payments on it. Instead of owning a car, he theorizes that a horse would be more practical in the long run.

The second odd post I wanted to point is titled “Need to buy helium tank”. In this post, TheEmperorOfJenks simply asks “Does anyone know where they sell stuff like that.”

These posts were made very close together in the timeline of the Emperor, and they are both so bizarre and cryptic, it’s really hard to read into them. They can help us paint a picture of his personality, and they make me question if this is actually real and not a meme.

Earlier I said that there were three, and I’ve only pointed out two so far. Now that we have a clearer understanding of who he is, we can begin to look into the big question that led us down this rabbit hole. The third one is where we can begin to uncover the mystery of gourd futures.

In a post titled “Where to buy gourds”, the Emperor says “I'm looking to buy ornamental gourds in bulk for a project. I need probably 1500 or so. Does anyone know of a local farm that grows them? Thanks!”

This is similar to the other posts asking where to buy things, and once again, he asks if other Tulsans know where to buy weird things. But this time, he gives us reasoning for why he wants them:

Due to local fluctuations in the tropopause, the jet stream has been shifting rapidly in a counterclockwise vector, causing a rapid disincorporation of the Hadley vortex cells in the lower ionosphere. Because of this, the geostrophic solar wind balance has deteriorated rapidly in the northern hemisphere. In essence, autumnal weather patterns in the western United States will lead to the biggest ornamental gourd yield in recorded history. Investing in gourd agricultural futures could likely produce up to $1600 per day in passive income. However, investing at the apex of the curve would be the most conducive to profit as the arbitrage (particularly 12b-1 fees) will develop at a market share higher than the back-end load. Basically, no one will be able to buy the stock at a higher price than you, and all value invested will be retained. A preliminary market penetration investment of $50,000 would be most efficient in generating this revenue.

Another post, in r/investing, titled “invest in gourd agricultural futures”, presumably urges other users to invest in gourd agricultural futures. I would be able to explain more, but the mods at r/investing deleted the post.

Now, this lends a lot of credibility to the theory that the gourd story is real. He seems to have done actual research regarding gourd yields.

But as you read into what he’s saying, things don’t make sense. I asked a meteorologist friend of mine, and he said that none of that means anything, it’s just gibberish.

Before I go any further, I want to bring your attention to another post the Emperor made on the Tulsa subreddit. The post titled “Caught this monstrous carp today behind the keystone dam”, shows a picture of a man holding a huge carp.

This post seems normal, but when you look in the comments, you’ll notice something weird. A commenter says “Gonna call bullshit. Post from 2017 on a German website.” The commenter seems to have done a reverse image search on the photo he posted.

The emperor lied about catching this fish. Why did he do that? Why was it worth lying about catching a carp like that for a hundred and fifty upvotes?

This is so beyond weird.

So far, here’s what we know about TheEmperorOfJenks:

We know he wants to buy weird things. We know he lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. We know he has a weird, eccentric personality. We know he lied about catching a fish. We also know a little bit about his financials.

In his earlier post about buying a horse, The Emperor mentions his car got repo’d. He didn’t have the money to make his payments. In the original post, we learned that he invested $17,500 in ornamental gourd futures. He says that this is 6 months salary and his life savings, so it’s safe to assume that he is making something around $30,000 a year. Even though Tulsa is a relatively cheap place to live, $30,000 a year is not a lot of money for somebody with such strange purchasing habits. Considering the average car payment is going to total $6,000 a year, these numbers seem to add up.

Now let’s go back to the gourd futures. A futures contract is a financial instrument where someone pays a premium to buy a product at an agreed upon price at an agreed upon date. Futures contracts are usually traded on exchanges, and a company called CME group has the largest agricultural futures exchange in the world.

Through all of my research on this topic, I have not come across a single exchange offering gourd futures.

Now, that means that there are 2 remaining explanations. Either 1) he entered into a futures contract with a gourd farmer directly, or 2) this has all been an elaborate meme.

It’s easier to brush everything on the internet off as a meme, but I’d like to investigate the first option before we come to that conclusion.

The easiest way to investigate is to find farmers in Oklahoma that sell bulk quantities of gourds. I called about a dozen farms and farmers markets located in Oklahoma to see if they knew of anywhere that grew and sold gourds in the quantities TheEmperor was describing.

After about an hour, I came up with no results.

I wanted to look more into the futures situation he was describing, so I did some research. The average gourd weighs between 5lbs and 15lbs. In the original post, he claims that gourds this year were gargantuan, weighing up to 4lbs each. This is demonstrably not gargantuan, and would in fact be quite small for a gourd.

This, along with the nonsense reply he gave in an earlier post, and the fact that I could not find any gourd farms of that magnitude, make me really doubt that this actually occurred. However, I do have a theory that would explain everything:

Based on his posts, I think that the real explanation isn’t that this is a meme. I think that he probably was the victim of a scam.

Stock market scams have existed as long as the stock market. From Madoff to Enron to the Wolf of Wall Street, we know that these things happen.

Most of his account, with the exception of the fish photo, seem to be genuine. And the fish photo seems like he was just trying to brag to his neighbors. He seems to be a real person in Oklahoma who has crazy ideas. We know that he is impulsive, and is quick to act on poor decisions, like the cabbage story.

I think he received a call or an email telling him about an investment opportunity in gourd futures, and he wanted to make easy money. The scammer gave him worthless futures and gish gallopped him with meaningless scientific gibberish. The scammer could have been leading him on, and then finally told him that his futures were practically worthless.

At the end of the day, we can be certain that either he was a victim of a scam, or we are. Ornamental gourd futures do not exist, but TheEmperorOfJenks does. Whether you laugh about this, feel sorry for him, or both, he is a beyond bizarre character. It was entertaining to research him and ornamental gourd futures, so thank you emperor.
Click to expand...

As soon as he starts talking about weather patterns, it started sounding like a troll. This guy keeps saying he’s a meme. Wrong word. He’s just a troll.

chetterthecat · May 18, 2021

kairo[OP] said: ↑

I went into a store today and it had a sign on it that said "Vaccinated? No mask required" So I'm like hell yah, and in I went. Felt like a damned criminal. Now that's some social conditioning over the last year.
Click to expand...

I thought politics weren't allowed to be discussed

kairo · May 18, 2021

Mbernal55 said: ↑

I thought politics weren't allowed to be discussed
Click to expand...

CDC guidelines, the coronavirus, and store policies are nowhere near politics........as long as nobody brings it up.

TreeFortRichard · May 18, 2021

kairo[OP] said: ↑

I went into a store today and it had a sign on it that said "Vaccinated? No mask required" So I'm like hell yah, and in I went. Felt like a damned criminal. Now that's some social conditioning over the last year.
Click to expand...

Never said "Vaccinated for Covid..."

You got your MMR and your DPT....

I requested a DPT booster like 2 years ago and the doc was like "Hmmm...That's unusual...why?" and I said "Why don't you look at the pertussis (whooping cough) outbreak numbers right now...I'll take that booster.."
He got back to me later when I was getting blood drawn "Hey you were right...good call..."

kairo · May 18, 2021

TreeFortRichard said: ↑

Never said "Vaccinated for Covid..."

You got your MMR and your DPT....

I requested a DPT booster like 2 years ago and the doc was like "Hmmm...That's unusual...why?" and I said "Why don't you look at the pertussis (whooping cough) outbreak numbers right now...I'll take that booster.."
He got back to me later when I was getting blood drawn "Hey you were right...good call..."
Click to expand...

So you were the nit-picky "a-ha-gotcha" other people in the store. I was silently judging everybody else..."Bet those fuckers are lying" As I'm sure they were judging me lol.

What a weird thing to even have to think about. Way to go humans, you're doing just fine on this planet...

Goes back to reading about international rehypothication

theesotericone · May 18, 2021

I've officially decided I am going to put all my money that I have left in T and go trade crypto. lol

kairo · May 18, 2021

theesotericone said: ↑

I've officially decided I am going to put all my money that I have left in T and go trade crypto. lol
Click to expand...

Lily is disappoint.

theesotericone · May 18, 2021

kairo[OP] said: ↑

Lily is disappoint.

Click to expand...

Crypto safer right now. The way the market is behaving has me baffled. Inflation keeps getting blamed but that ain't it. There's something else going on that I haven't been able to figure out. And no, it's not the GME apocalypse you keep predicting. lol

kairo · May 18, 2021

theesotericone said: ↑

Crypto safer right now. The way the market is behaving has me baffled. Inflation keeps getting blamed but that ain't it. There's something else going on that I haven't been able to figure out. And no, it's not the GME apocalypse you keep predicting. lol
Click to expand...

You're correct. It's not the GME apocalypse. But it is part of it.

It's: $800b in margin debt. It's 0 coupon treasury bonds. It's banks issuing bonds in record numbers. It's rampant naked short selling across the market. It's Buffet liquidating almost all of his bank holdings over the last 6 months (his recent 13f just showed he dumped like $20b in WF over last reporting period, which he's held for 30 years). It's too much money pumped into global economies too quickly. It's Bezos buying a yacht. It's the Gates divorce (amongst others). It's decimated supply chains and demand for commodities that can't be met.

Everything, literally everything aside from what old people watch on the news is pointing towards an imminent and giant correction.

cartter469 · May 18, 2021

theesotericone said: ↑

I've officially decided I am going to put all my money that I have left in T and go trade crypto. lol
Click to expand...

Buy some TRIT calls like @TreeFortRichard for the fun of it. Currently trying to get approved on fidelity so I can do the same. But T is one of the ones I have been eyeing for long term. When I mentioned it some people responded to me talking abt debt the company has but like you said, the markets not moving based on what we think it would. So take the 7% and call it good?

kairo · May 18, 2021

cartter469 said: ↑

Buy some TRIT calls like @TreeFortRichard for the fun of it. Currently trying to get approved on fidelity so I can do the same. But T is one of the ones I have been eyeing for long term. When I mentioned it some people responded to me talking abt debt the company has but like you said, the markets not moving based on what we think it would. So take the 7% and call it good?
Click to expand...

T pays dividends. Buy shares, don't play options. If the @theesotericone is getting out, it's probably a good idea. But I'm assuming he was playing options. Buying shares won't hurt you provided you're willing to hold onto them for a while.

Iwilltaco · May 18, 2021

cartter469 said: ↑

Buy some TRIT calls like @TreeFortRichard for the fun of it. Currently trying to get approved on fidelity so I can do the same. But T is one of the ones I have been eyeing for long term. When I mentioned it some people responded to me talking abt debt the company has but like you said, the markets not moving based on what we think it would. So take the 7% and call it good?
Click to expand...

7% about to be 3 or 4. No thanks. Sold my T this week

kairo · May 18, 2021

Iwilltaco said: ↑

7% about to be 3 or 4. No thanks. Sold my T this week
Click to expand...

3 or 4 still beats inflation (in a normal world) over the long term.

cartter469 · May 18, 2021

kairo[OP] said: ↑

T pays dividends. Buy shares, don't play options. If the @theesotericone is getting out, it's probably a good idea. But I'm assuming he was playing options. Buying shares won't hurt you provided you're willing to hold onto them for a while.
Click to expand...

I may have worded oddly, TRIT I want options for the fun of it and see what the heck happens. T I have been eyeing the shares only because of 7% dividend. The debt I honestly don’t care about because it’s still got 10+ bucks per share to go to reach pre March 2020 level.

I understand debt is bad for the company but currently stock prices and market fundamentals seem to have a loose correlation.

Iwilltaco · May 18, 2021

cartter469 said: ↑

I may have worded oddly, TRIT I want options for the fun of it and see what the heck happens. T I have been eyeing the shares only because of 7% dividend. The debt I honestly don’t care about because it’s still got 10+ bucks per share to go to reach pre March 2020 level.

I understand debt is bad for the company but currently stock prices and market fundamentals seem to have a loose correlation.
Click to expand...

They just announced they are basically cutting dividend in half, will no longer have aristocrat status, and clearly will be less dedicated to dividend going forward.

Iwilltaco · May 18, 2021

kairo[OP] said: ↑

3 or 4 still beats inflation (in a normal world) over the long term.
Click to expand...

Indeed, but there are better dividend stocks if that’s the goal.

theesotericone · May 18, 2021

kairo[OP] said: ↑

You're correct. It's not the GME apocalypse. But it is part of it.

It's: $800b in margin debt. It's 0 coupon treasury bonds. It's banks issuing bonds in record numbers. It's rampant naked short selling across the market. It's Buffet liquidating almost all of his bank holdings over the last 6 months (his recent 13f just showed he dumped like $20b in WF over last reporting period, which he's held for 30 years). It's too much money pumped into global economies too quickly. It's Bezos buying a yacht. It's the Gates divorce (amongst others). It's decimated supply chains and demand for commodities that can't be met.

Everything, literally everything aside from what old people watch on the news is pointing towards an imminent and giant correction.
Click to expand...

That $800B in margin is less then 2% of the US markets value. Not it.
Bonds are smart right now. It's cheap as shit to borrow and the Fed is handing out money like Tic Tac. Not it.
Naked shorting might be rampant but it's gone on forever and has never caused a crash. Most likely not it.
Money flooding in means inflation needs to rise to correct value. The Fed is letting that happen. Not it.
Lack of supply to meet demand doesn't make a market go down. It makes it go up. Not it.

The economy is returning to normal. Inflation is on pace with Fed targets. Feds are still buying and lending. Earnings and guidance have all been record breaking. COVID is almost kicked in the ass. Housing market is booming. Labor market is booming with more jobs expected shortly as we bring back US manufacturing to curb the supply side crunch.

The markets should be steadily ticking higher not lower, IMO.

theesotericone · May 18, 2021

Iwilltaco said: ↑

They just announced they are basically cutting dividend in half, will no longer have aristocrat status, and clearly will be less dedicated to dividend going forward.
Click to expand...

No shit. I missed that news. I was wondering why they tanked yesterday. The merger should have been good news. lol

Iwilltaco · May 18, 2021

theesotericone said: ↑

That $800B in margin is less then 2% of the US markets value. Not it.
Bonds are smart right now. It's cheap as shit to borrow and the Fed is handing out money like Tic Tac. Not it.
Naked shorting might be rampant but it's gone on forever and has never caused a crash. Most likely not it.
Money flooding in means inflation needs to rise to correct value. The Fed is letting that happen. Not it.
Lack of supply to meet demand doesn't make a market go down. It makes it go up. Not it.

The economy is returning to normal. Inflation is on pace with Fed targets. Feds are still buying and lending. Earnings and guidance have all been record breaking. COVID is almost kicked in the ass. Housing market is booming. Labor market is booming with more jobs expected shortly as we bring back US manufacturing to curb the supply side crunch.

The markets should be steadily ticking higher not lower, IMO.
Click to expand...

Are strippers still masked? Could be the issue

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Still think TITNC3: Return of the Iceberg was peak

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Still think TITNC3: Return of the Iceberg was peak

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