Sobriety.... One year later... Please Read.

I can coexist with it myself though I'm not a big believer, raised strict Catholic and haven't followed in many years.

As an aside, one meeting I frequent is in the cafeteria of the place I went to school 6 years and church..and I lived a dream by riding my bike in there recently

 

I suppose I could release it to science since that is what I believe in. But the scientist in me won't let me do that ironically lol.

 

I just take what I need and leave the rest

 

Yep

 

Man.... I feel ashamed. Usually I post on here the day that I made this thread back in 13 each year. Life got in the way with my daughter in high school, her dance team, my parents moving to a new house, etc... this year. But those are just excuses. I should have carved out time to post that everything is still well. I hope everyone that has posted or read this thread is doing well also.

I, once again, thank everyone for the support that has been given throughout the years. My original intent was to hopefully help just one person know they aren't alone in this. But over time, I think we are much closer than we are apart (even though the world doesn't feel that way sometimes). So thank you for everyone that has posted. You all have been a big help to me personally and hopefully we have helped others in the process.

 

I don’t have much to add, but I hope to see this thread go on. Thanks.

 

Also struggled with addiction after the military. Actually started while I was in, but somehow went through undetected the last year I was in. Deployments and all... not really going into it. But I lost a daughter a couple years ago and that was the 3rd and final relapse. Just when you think it can't get any worse, it can. I thought I was low and hit rock bottom before, and strung out for years but it took literally one month that last time before I lost everything. And I do mean everything. I don't count the days sober, but I am going on just over two years. August is a shitty month for me. It's all I think about. Anyways, you are not alone OP. We have all been down these roads and it's a daily struggle to avoid them. One foot at a time. I never thought I'd be where I am now tho... financially stable, not having to work my ass off like a slave, and actually almost happy - most days. We are here for you. Anytime. I know people say that and it's a bunch of random strangers online, but seriously... If I get a notification at 3am that someone is not feeling up for tomorrow, I'm all over that shit. I make it my priority. Not only does it help me, but it helps them realize they are not alone and it will get better.

Cheers for this thread OP. And good to meet you!

 

I've learned after going through all of this it never really ends. No, I never even think about drinking anymore. That is a non issue now. Pain Pills on the other hand? I'd be lying if I said that I don't still crave them. Like you I don't count the days that I've been clean and sober. I just know how many years it's been. Some years go by and I forget that day has even come and gone. I look at that as a positive. Of course there are bad days and it never really leaves you. I won't lie and say that some days are worse than others but that's just life. I'm not the same person I was before all of this went downhill but I don't feel like I'm that much different either. I'm more conscious of how I feel on any given day. And... some days I just lack the motivation to do certain things. Those days are fewer and further between but they still exist. Sometimes I'll wake up in the morning and I just know it's going to be one of those days that I don't have the motivation to do something as simple as going to the grocery store and buying groceries. Doesn't happen often but it does happen and I don't like it when it does. I count that as a wasted day and we only have so many days on this earth. So I try to make the most of them.

But I also learned that you never know what is going on in someone else's life unless they decide to relay that information. I think that's what's been so nice about this thread. I never knew it would blow up into what it has become. If I'm being completely honest I created it mostly for me as another way to hold myself accountable. That is why I have it linked in my signature below. As a reminder of every time I post a message on here it is staring me back in the face. But it has become a place that I would have never dreamed it would become. People sharing their stories, support, or just a kind word. And I hope it has helped in some way for others to know, as you said, you are not alone in this. Everyone has struggles in their life. And whatever catalyst for those struggles may be, they are still struggles and relevant to that person. I'm glad that people are still posting in here. It has been a welcome source of comfort knowing we are not alone in these types of struggles no matter how you found them. So every word of encouragement is always helpful. And like I mentioned many times in the past. If anyone ever feels the need to talk one on one a PM is all it takes. Hell... I'll give you my phone number and I will be there to listen. I'm not a therapist and I don't have a professional background in that area. But I have lived it and lived through it. But sometimes listening is the best thing you can do for someone. I've always said that being able to release it to someone else, even if they can't give advise back is therapy in itself.

Take care my friend. I'll be here if anyone ever wants to talk. I'll always respond when a new message pops up in here.

 

Kinda look at ‘er like a guy who’s stuck in the weeds. I offer a possible solution, what happened to me is all I got. What you choose to do is entirely up to you. Once you come to believe there’s always a Spotter lookin’ after you, then you’ll rely on that even more.

 

Day 5 Yesterday kicked my ass! First time I’ve made it this far in awhile! Mentally and physically exhausted. Had a knot in my chest just egging me on to get back to “normal” hit the hay early on a Friday about 8:30 to ignore it, feeling better today but it’s still early! Going out to the grandparents today to hang out so hopefully the drive and the visit keeps my mind off things until it’s bed time once again!

 

Stay strong my friend!

 

The worse of times but it gets easier. Think of all the times you tried to stop but couldn’t. Now you’ve made a conscious decision to change & that’s never easy. Easier to stay stopped then to keep on tryin’. You’re on the right track friend.

 

Will do!!

 

Good job, bud.

One thing I now recommend to anyone trying to get away from alcohol--permanently or otherwise--is therapy. There are reasons that we became addicted, and talking with a therapist helps to get to those reasons. A game-changer, I'm my case at least.

 

Y’all can PM me anytime 24/7. I’ll Get back to you right quick. Trick is to call someone Before you might make a bad decision. Once the debate in your head starts, little do you know it’s already over. One day @ a time.

 

Good job Ribber I’m proud of you❤️

 

It's never easy in the beginning but if you keep that determination as your recovery must come first so that everything YOU love in life doesn’t have to come last.

My days were nothing less than pain, troubles set backs and pure determination and drive to keep focus on the things I loved you can do that same.

Keep the Faith and follow what you love and what loves you in return....

 

Keep working on it my friend. I can promise you that it will get easier.

^^This^^ is very accurate and one that I think that any us in here that have had issues with addiction can agree upon. I used to beg myself "please don't stop by the liquor store on the way home" each day I got off work at the FD. Once I started debating this in my head the decision was already made for me whether I wanted to acknowledge it or not. It took a life changing event to get me to stop. I could have changed my family's life and the lives of innocent people. It took that to get me to quit.

@McRib You are doing it correctly. As hard as it seems right now (and I know it is hard), you can do this. It takes work but you have done the most important step and that is recognizing you have an issue. Now you are confronting that issue. You will find headwinds at the start. But as you move further away, it will become easier. Everyone always says "one day at a time" and I used to hate that. But it's true. Every day is a victory to taking your life back and giving you control. Be well my friend. If you ever need to talk, I'm a PM away.

 

Dependence on alcohol is somewhat different than abuse and have intense cravings for it. Therapy is often a primary component of alcoholism. Alcoholism is considered incurable but does not mean someone cant quit. For me it was not a therapist in the beginning as that clouded my thoughts but the fact I had to realize what was happening. I walked out of many meetings and Dr visits because of it until I realized I needed to find the core issue before I could move ahead. Once I did which was not long after these moments of these actions I was able to find the road to recovery in the best way possible for me.

 

Great job brother. I won't lie to you, it will be rough for a while. But it will get better. I promise.

My first 6 - 9 months were rough. I always felt abnormal, weird, and awkward. I felt that way because I was trying to do things differently than what I was used to; aka: The wrong way. Instead of drinking over my problems (or to celebrate something), I was not drinking and finding a healthy way to get through my problems. It took awhile to retrain my brain to form new habits while I got rid of old habits. When you have issues or questions, reach out to a member of your home group (assuming you have one). Trust me...they can help. They have been through it before.

You are not alone.

Here's some advice that my first sponsor gave me: "Think about what it is you want to do. Then, don't do it. Chances are, it's the wrong thing to do, because it's full of selfishness and self-centered-ness. As long as you aren't doing what you want to do, chances are, you'll stop doing the wrong thing and start doing the right thing."

Sobriety Date: March 15, 2013