Whatever

This reminded me of a story that Tiger Woods tells. When he first started having success as a pro golfer, he bought a house in a wealthy, white neighborhood. He was working in his yard one day when a woman stopped and came over.

“Excuse me. How much do you charge for your lawn service?”

“Well, the lady here sleeps with me.”

 

No streetlights!! It'll be a blast!!

 

Get one of them glow in the dark balls. Hey, that’s better than glitter!

 

Little late but still morning here! Make it a great day folks!

 

While I'm on the topic of complaining about general household conveniences, this'll probably be my last Dyson. You know, the vacuum that clevely lets you disassemble it without tools, except for the bits that actually collect foul odors.

That section is guarded by 300 screws in alternating square and star shaped drivers. So it's either spend four hours hoping like hell to not lose a screw or tear one of the 20 delicate gaskets in this alien tower of pain, or just run it as is and have the exhaust pump your house with fragrance of wet dog balls.

 

Mmmkay whateverers. Caption this…

 

Gorilla products: Not just for hair.

















And in case you're like "Tiffany, wtf are you talking about?"

 

This is like one of those stick figure family stickers taken way too far

 

Morning after best night EVER!

 

Somebody pissed away $348 dollars worth of good duct tape. Nice hat tho.

 

I locked myself out

 

I never had that problem. Someone was always doing it for me.

 

Afternoon whatevers. That is all

 

Third of the month again. Bill pay day. I pay them all with apps online. It never ceases to amaze me that all of them, Toyota, AT&T, Geico, etc. all make me verify my identity. Do they think someone else is trying to pay my bills? If they are, I don’t have a problem with it.