Toddler lied to me for the first time...

As every parent knows, we have routines with our 3yr old. She watches one show, then brushes her teeth, then gets a vitamin, the we read 2 books in bed, then lights-out.

So last night after she brushed her teeth, I got the vitamins out and put two in the lid. I then asked "How many vitamins do you get". I expected her to say "just one" (like she usually does) and then take her pick of the two in front of her.

To my shock...she said "2" then quickly grabbed both and ate them - faster than I could even pull them away. I may be overreacting but this is NOT the sweet innocent child I know. She has never lied to me like that and it is not sitting well with me.

I didn't get mad but calmly explained that it was very wrong to lie like that. Even more so because these are not Flintstones Vitamins. These are prescription pills for her. It is no problem to eat two but thats irrelevant.

Anyway, just thought I'd share because it continues to bother me.

 

It happens, the biggest thing is that you let her know it's wrong, and she realizes it's wrong and doesn't do it again.

 

Hey,
I feel ya. My son is just about 3 years and he too has begun to "fibb" just a little. He is learning numbers in school and jets them confused still. I'll hold up 5 fingers and ask him how many fingers am I holding up? He will allways start with teh number 2. Then we have to count our way to five.

I'm not sure if at this age he can really grasp what a lie is and means. I hope it's just a phase as I usally turn the situation into learning time. I don't know if this helps but have some peace of mind knowing your not alone.

 

Well its something thats going to happen. Kids learn real quick to test you. Best you can do is explain and teach them that its wrong. My 5yo son is constantly testing me and his mom. Its going to happen more as she gets older so be ready for it, and don't feel bad or like you failed. Its just the begining!

 

We made sure to ask this morning if her stomach hurt but she was fine. They're not real strong vitamins.

And Abby will joke around a lot. I was almost expecting her to grab both, say "2" and make the smirk that she does when she is just joking around. But putting both in her mouth sealed the lie. I tried to explain that she "made it real" by actually doing it.

Is it a bad idea to remind her of this event? Like bring it up every now and then and discuss why it was wrong. I think that would reinforce it. I did it once this morning when I told my wife about it over breakfast. Abby listened and reiterated that she was sorry.

 

But that is a lie...or it's at least a "wrong". And I want her to know that. Just because you can get away with something doesn't make it right. That is a HUGE lesson and something that I want to strongly reinforce. A lot of problems come from kids thinking they can just "get away with it".

But as Deevon stated...maybe this is just the start and I should expect a lot more of it. She is my only child and I'm just learning as I go (and asking questions online )

 

Ya, the best thing to do is explain to her why its wrong. Tell her it could of made her very sick. Let her know that its not to happen again or there will be consequences. Kids understand more than you think also. I learned this with my neice growing up. I was always shocked to find out what she understood.

 

maybe I am reading this wrong but you said she took 2 vitamins and she said she took 2...how is that a lie?

Maybe dont give her the chance to take more than one, just hand her one and a glass of water...
Since you did bring it up the next day and she reitterated that she was sorry ( if you think she actually was) then I would let that be it. No need to keep harping on her for this small incident.

 

wait till she's five, it gets worse.

 

If that's the worst thing your 3 year old is doing, I wouldn't worry too much about it. You can remind her it was wrong but it's old news in her mind. You'll have to explain to her what happened again because she's already forgotten it.

 

We go out of our way to give her the option of choosing things. That is why I showed two and expected her to pick one. And we have always done it that way - usually with more than 2. There used to be 4 colors and she could pick the color she wanted but we're down to just one color.

You're right...it is a small incident. I realize that my child is not going to now become a criminal. But it still bothered me because it was the first time she did something so blatant. So I felt it was worth discussing.

 

nothing wrong with wanting to discuss it, eric. just know, it will happen again. as much as it hurts to see your child do something wrong, just know its an excellent time to teach them.

 

x2.

I have learned with my 5 year old brother that if you present them with multiples, they WILL take both. He knows whats right and whats wrong. It is just a test. I only give him one item and that is what he gets. This also teaches him that he should appreciate everything he gets. Just make sure you tell her that what she did was wrong each time. If you have to say it multiple times, that would be when I start taking things away. (I babysit my brother every day. I have practically raised him along with my parents)


This is just the start! she is at the age where she WILL test you and your wife.

 

wow, if you think that was bad, your gonna be in for a rude awakening....

 

x2...we have had to call the poison control center like 5 times,last time he drank a whole bottle of cologne.the person said he may get drunk off it because of the alcohol,and that his breath should smell good for awhile

 

I dunno... it's not really lieing. I mean, you asked "how many do you get" and she took two. If anything, you put 2 in front of her and expect her to take just one? Sounds like you tempted her. She told you the truth as she saw it - I'm taking 2, and she did.

Now, it'd be lieing if you asked how many she already ate....

 

Wait til shes 7 or 10 and see what they test you with

 

hell, wait till she's a teenager