Stay on Topic

I once pooped my pants at an all you can eat buffet and I didn't leave until after I finished my plate.

 

if I had said out loud my office mate would be laughing his ass off. I just told you jokers and I was not the first person to say this. You can thank Tina Fey.

 

I just bought a tow vehicle through Ebay. Since my Tacoma is so frequently out of commission for upgrades and because I expect to break during races I'm picking up a 2006 crew cab F250 4x4 diesel on Saturday. Flying out to Kansas City, filling out the paperwork at the airport, and driving home.

Funny thing is that this isn't the first vehicle I've bought through Ebay, and the last one was also in KC. What are the odds?

..........

For the past year I've been driving around in a 1995 Honda Civic that I bought for $500. Prior to that I had a spotless driving record but this car is like a police magnet! I get pulled over all the time in it and have gotten 5 tickets since I started driving it. Not long ago it was impounded for being 5 days overdue on registration.

This past Saturday I made a right on a yellow arrow and got a ticket for not stopping at a red light. The conversation with my passenger went like this:

Her: "Are we being pulled over?"
Me: "Yup."
Her: "For what?"
Me: "We'll find out shortly."

When he said I blew through the red light I simply said "It was yellow." The angry response was "That's impossible. I had the green before you were at the intersection." My passenger was furious. "How can they make up shit like that?!"

Before that she never believed how often I got pulled over in the Civic. Now she's just pissed. Of course, she drives around in a 3-series so it's a bit different for her.

Mind you, my truck says "RACING" in huge letters on the sides, has a stupid array of uncovered lights on the front, and is lacking the required front license plate and never gets a second glance from the cops.

 

I'm as surprised as anyone.

and


That's all you get.

Tell me about it!

 

I'd ride that back from KC.

Edit: I thought of another response... So, which club does she do most of her stripping at?

 

The expected response. I'll see what I can dig up in the coming days.