Left handed screwdrivers

hey, grab me a hammer4

 

-Tobacco for the boatswain's pipe;
-A bucket of steam;
-100' of shoreline; and
-Green oil for the starboard running light.

 

Asks innocently "what's a hammer4??"

 

Sent one guy into the electrical closet once so he could go down in the basement for the hose stretcher.

 

Car wash in high school, customers would get a complimentary rewash if it rained within 48hr of their original ticket. We’d mark the tickets as “Rain X” and tell the newest guy to grab the RainX out of the wax closet, 3rd door on the left in the tunnel. Door opened up to the outside with a 3’ drop looking right at all of us

 

A buddy of mine sent a troop for a box of grid sqares. Guy did not show back up until the next monings muster and did not do any of his work. My buddy started going off on him, the guy handed my buddy a box, in it was a map that had been cut into squares along the grid lines.

Collecting exhaust samples with a 50 ga trash bag for "testing."

Breaker fluid.

Deck pusher (Navy).

 

When I was young, I worked retail in the mall, and any time we put up new displays, we would send out the newest person to another store and ask for the wall stretcher so wee could fit all the displays. What was great, a lot of the other stores were in on it and we started giving the weirdest things for them to carry thru the mall.

 

We would send a guy. To a different building and ask the parts guy for a key to the basement door to get the extra strut spring compressor from there. Problem the building was a slab on grade.

 

Microsoft's Redmond campus started with bldgs. 1-8 but no 7. We would always send new guys over to bldg 7 to get random shit.....get a call 40 mins later that they can't find it.

 

We used to send new troops in one of my combat comm units out for “Universal Solvent K-9P.” They’d get sent all over creation; job control, vehicle maintenance, HVAC, supply, and then get aimed toward Military Police Working Dogs. They usually figured it out by the time they got to supply…

…but one troop actually made the trip. He ended up being a legend (in a good way) but those first months were rough.

 

Roofing nails with the heads on the wrong end for the other side of the roof.

 

During college I managed a fast food restaurant for a short time, we would send the newbies to mop the walk-in freezer, mop would almost immediately stick to floor. Would also have them count pickle slices for inventory....they came in 5 gallon buckets.

 

Had a guy that went to tech school and asked what kinda trailer would hook up to a flip pin in a 1ton when it was in the down position for a goose neck. Even though there was a display that showed how it worked in the parts department.

 

We told the newbie to tighten the hook on the crane hoists (it's a rotating hook)

 

Always send the noobs to the basement for tools at the other end of the plant.

 

I also learned this in boot - never volunteer for shit. That's how you get made an example of lol

 

Rebar stretcher.

Also once convinced an operator he shouldn't swing a tower crane too many times the one direction or the whole upper part of the crane would unthread and fall off. Pic for reference haha.

 

A bucket of muzzle blast. A box of grid squares. Canopy lights for night jumps. A BFH.

 

Blinker fluid and muffler bearings.