NJ Taco's

In honor of yet another storm rolling in, I came up with this bit of stupidity during lunch today to amuse myself. Enjoy the idiocy, and don't be offended that I referenced my Ford rather than the Tacoma's engine.

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Yo D.O.T. -- let's kick it!

Ice ice baby (x2)

Alright, stop, go'on and scrape that windshield,
Ice is back and the traffic ain't gonna yield.
Snowfall grabs ahold of cars tightly;
White fluffy death fallin' daily and nightly!
Will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know.
Turn on the heat till it glows.

To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal,
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle.
(Those last 2 lines don't fit with the theme but they're too perfect to replace)

Plow! To the store to buy bread.
Cookin' french toast is takin' over my head!
Deadly! When I'm in a rear wheel drive
Anything less than 6 cyls'll keep me alive.
Lovin' my pickup but it better gain weight.
Back like a feather, yo the drift don't play!

If there was a pile, yo I'll shovel it.
Check out the hook while my tow guy recovers it.

The roads are ice ice baby! (x4)

Now that the axle is jumping
With the bass kicked in and the fists are pumpin'!
Quick to the floor with the gas, no faking
Smokin' tires like a pound of bacon.
Burning 'em, but ain't moving anyhow.
I go crazy when I hear a big plow
And a salt truck coming right down my block.
I'm plowed in.
It's a fight I ain't gonna win...

Rollin' in my 6.0
With my windows up so the heat can blow.
The police are on standby, radar's how they say "Hi!"
"Were you stopped?" Naw, I just crawled by.
30, until I hit the next town.
I swung a right now I'm stuck behind a truck (Brown).
The road was blocked yo, so I continued to
Route 18. (Strip Mall Avenue!)
Derp was strong, morons all over every road.
Turns signals rarer than a midget in a bathrobe.
Stay home if you're scared of some slipp'ry lanes
I've got someplace to be and you're in my way.

Graffiti from some chumps on the wall
Gives me sumthin' to read since I can't make a phone call.
Sirens rang out like a bell.
I grabbed my Coke, all I heard were horns
Honkin' around the stall in the lane.
Took another sip and accepted my fate.
Bumper to bumper -- Route 18's borked.
I'm trying to get through before I'm late for work.
Police on the scene, it's no big surprise.
They passed me up 'cuz I know how to drive.

If there was a pile, yo I'll shovel it.
Check out the hook while my tow guy recovers it.

The roads are ice ice baby! (x4)

Take heed 'cause I'm a Garden State poet
New Jersey's on the scene just in case you didn't know it!
My state that created all the fist pumps,
Italians so short you'll mistake 'em for tree stumps.
While the road's like a rock salt spill
With potholes you'll drive into and feel.
We're taxed for this shit -- it's a hell of a concept.
We make it juiced...and you wanna tan with us!
'Shore plays on the LCD, drunk like a Snookie,
Pumped like a Paulie D.
So smashed, the bartenders say "Damn!"
If a rhyme was a drug they'd probably take that too.
Keep my composure when it's time to commute
Powerslide through the turns while I spike my 'do.

If there was a pile, yo I'll shovel it.
Check out the hook while my tow guy recovers it.

Ice ice baby.
The roads are ice ice baby. (x4)

Yo man, let's do some Jagerbombs.
Word to your mother.