Whatever

my shit hurts after a Netflix nap…


i can’t imagine crawling out of a freezer in fifty years.

 

But you pay at death! It's a win win!! How they gonna collect?

 

“Good morning and welcome back Mr. Stock, now, about your bill……”

 

Damn, ya'll were chatty today.

Goodnight

 

I can believe that!!

Gnite, Dean

 

A close friend just last week passed from non-Hodgkin lymphoma.
Initial diagnosis was about 6 years ago.
He underwent radiation and chemo...several times. But it kept coming back.
When I saw him last, he looked like a ghost of the man I knew.

I'm going to endeavor to remember him as he was in better times.
We shot trap together for years.
He was a retired Montgomery County, MD policeman and had a ton of great stories.

This story is for my buddy, Jim.
R.I.P.

Story Time With Gritto

or

How Jim got the nickname "Possum"

One night Jim and his partner (also named Jim) got a call from dispatch.
A hysterical woman out in the boonies called in about a wolf or mountain lion terrorizing her cats.

Jim: "So which is it?"
Dispatch: "That's all I got. Go see the woman."
Also Jim: "Probably a raccoon or something. Remember the last one?
City folk move to the country...are amazed to discover there are wild critters there."

So they went to see the woman.
Fancy cars, fancy new McMansion...with horse barns. (def not country folk)
They calmed the woman down and said they'd look around.
So they're out there for awhile, just casually walking around with their flashlights...nothing.

Jim: "Okay, we've gone through the motions, ready to go?"
Also Jim: "Yeah."

They drove back down the long driveway and spotted movement.

Jim: "There's the culprit."
Also Jim: "Too small for a wolf or mountain lion...maybe it's a chupacabra?"
Jim: "Let's get him."

They bail out and go in pursuit.
A very short pursuit, as the critter was not very fast.

Jim: 'Well well, whaddaya know...it's a possum."
Also Jim: BLAM BLAM!
Jim: "WTF?"
Also Jim: BLAM BLAM BLAM!
Jim: "Some shot you are...he got away."
Also Jim: [grumbles]

They got back in the cruiser and started forward.

Also Jim: "There he is! "
Jim: " Looks like you wounded him."
Also Jim: "Stop the car!"
Jim: "Fuck that. Sending you after him is inhumane."

[guns engine, runs over possum]

Next day, at the beginning of their shift, the last thing the sergeant says is:
"I don't want to hear about any critters getting lead poisoning, if you take my meaning."

[Jim and partner Also Jim look at each other]
How did he know?

Thereafter, Jim was Possum.
Which was convenient, as it was no longer necessary to specify which Jim one was talking about.

 

@StayinStock

That story was extra long and pointless...just the way you like 'em.

 

That was a good one!!

RIP Jim

 

I’ve often told my wife that I’m going feeschin and never coming back if there was no hope . Only sign of me will be my pork pie hat floating down stream

 

So sorry to hear that

 

It’s ok…. He wasn’t around much when I was growing up. My parents divorced when I was less than 2 years old as he was an alcoholic. The visits were random as opposed to a set schedule. I made my peace with him in those final weeks.

 

To hell in a hand basket

 

Get home at 10pm...it's 32 degrees out...what does Ole Spygoat do?

Installs running boards on the wife's T4R..lol.

But now I don't have to do it tomorrow!

 

Up too late. Gunnite ladies and gentlemen

 

Had every intention of going to bed early…. Can’t sleep

Gnite Pibbs

 

I would have said “If you want them on, you can stay out here and help”
I wouldn’t have said it very loud. But I would have said it.

 

So, exactly how many miles is a drive cycle?