Whatever

We don’t need rat parts, the fucktards working there nowadays can fuck shit up on there own.

 

That's neat!

 

Specifics?

 

People over 18.

 

Good beer, cheap filters. Sounds like priorities are there!

 

So a man calls home and a strange womans voice answered.

“Who is this?”

“I’m the maid”

“I don’t have a maid”

“Well, I just started today”

“Really? Is my wife there?

“Well, uh…she’s in the bedroom with a man I assumed was her husband.”

“That bitch! Do you want to make some good money? Get the gun from my desk drawer and shoot them both, dig a hole in the backyard and bury them”

“Well, I could use the extra money. So I’ll do it”

He waits on the phone and hears two shots. Then she’s back

“Okay. I shot them. I’m going to dig the hole in the flowerbed beside the pool”

Long pause

“Pool? Is this 555-4659?”

 

The beer was free.

 

Dave!! A double!!

 

I'm gonna check my eyelids for holes, ya'll have a great night!!

 

Cardiac team. If you're having a heart attack, you'll see me or someone like me. We'll put a stent in your heart....

 

So, is it fair to call you a cardiologist?

 

A parting shot....
If you must announce on social media what a good mom you are...you aren't.

Just something I've noticed in my twilight years.
Gnite, soft kittens.

 

Good night

 

Thank you for what you do. Do you do open heart surgeries?

 

Nite everyone

 

Thieves are getting ballsy these days...

https://youtu.be/Iit8bAdl40g

 

Good Morning. I gave the jukebox a backhand bitchslap just like the Fonz and this is what came out.