Roast my Tacoma! (2nd gen edition)

Sorry, 66, I thought I roasted this black one already since there were two other identical trucks on the same page. Like, exactly the same truck. Do you guys wife-share too?

You could have at least gone full BDSM and plastidipped it like a 19-year-old with nothing but bad ideas. I know it’s a totally stupid idea—but think about it! It couldn’t be worse…


oh.

 

It's a nice nature shot but can't see the truck

 

He's doing us a favor by keeping that rusted-frame of a truck in the shadows.

 

If you wear your Depends you won’t leave those unsightly puddles behind.

 

Too bad you can still see Free Willy. FIFY. FIFus.

 

That's not how you use foglights, dummy!

 

Bet you have a tint stripe on your windshield, looks like this crop job here. Speaking of crops, you drive the kind of truck that says you crop dusted your aunt's funeral and then blamed it on her decomposing body. Blackout package with one chrome emblem on the grille won't get you invited to the Taliban bbq, but you might get one to the local Chevy spit n rub. Between the squat and the smoked headlights I'm surprised you're not already officiating the wedding of two of your cousins. Get a job...

 

she* and i can run my finger along the frame without worrying about tetanus

 

Honestly, in the light it ain’t half bad.

 

I was right about the windshield stripe

 

A photo of two dumpsters! nice!

 

Before anyone says anything about the ducks, I have one for each wrangler my truck has outlasted in my family’s driveway

 

FFS, someone put those poor ducks out of their misery. How embarrassing for them to be stuck in that obnoxious fire truck. Blink twice if you can hear us, duckies.

 

Could that chrome jockstrap be any more unnecessary?

 

Here’s the color when the sun isn’t quite as extreme

 

Okay, okay, it’s a intrauterine mauve. Touché.

That’s said, I’ll buy you the next rubber duck for when that Bronco taps out. You know it’s a time bomb.

 

That Bronco is the grocery getter that replaced the last wrangler, we only had that one for a couple weeks because right after we bought it gas prices went up and it was a guzzler (like 8 mpg in a city where everything is 15+ miles away). Mom was not happy about losing her bikini pearl colored Jeep so she got to pick the sport. Now my dad gets next pick and he wants one of the new Colorados.