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Dad jokes

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by pinktaco808, Jun 30, 2020.

Page 35 of 73
  1. May 31, 2022 at 3:53 AM
    #681
    USMC - Retired

    #681
    USMC - Retired No Better Friend, No Worse Enemy

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2019
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    Male
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    Gunns
    Ty Ty, Georgia
    Vehicle:
    2018 DCSB Quicksand
    Bruce Lee was amazingly fast! But he had an even faster brother.

    Sudden Lee...
     
    USMC - Retired, May 31, 2022
    #681
    Sdtrueblue, ToyoTaco25, imjustabill1970 and 3 others like this.
  2. May 31, 2022 at 4:30 AM
    #682
    Tactical_Panda

    #682
    Tactical_Panda Armchair Anarchist

    Joined:
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    Member:
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    Messages:
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    Gender:
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    First Name:
    Tim
    Fredericksburg, VA
    Vehicle:
    2015 Tacoma Double Cab, Off-Road Edition
    AJT Designs Shifter AJT Designs Battery Hold-Down ARB Awning 2500x2500 ARB Twin Compressor w/ Slee Offroad Mounting Bracket Avid Brush Bar Avid Step Bars Black Rock Wheels Series 997 Type 8 Circuit Breaker/Relay Panel Custom TRD Decals Bulletproof Fabricating Raptor Grill Bulletproof Fabricating Cooling Panel Bulletproof Fabricating Tow Hook Duluth Trading Company Dog Hammock Exhaust Breather Mod eBay Special 3-Gallon Air Tank Expedition Essentials TPAM EZ Down tailgate damper Flagpole Mounts, Dual Foglight Mod Front Camera Rear Camera; full time available General Grabber tires Goat Armor Hella Supertone Horns Iggy Switch Panel Icon Dynamics Stage 3 Suspension Katskin Leather Interior KickAss camp shower LED Bed Lights LED Interior Lights Midland MXT275 GMRS Two-Way Radio OEM Audio Plus Reference 500 audio upgrade Plano Cases. 42" roof mounted, X2 Pop-N-Lock Tailgate Handle Prinsu Cab Rack Prinsu-like Shell Rack Redline Tuning Hood Struts Rigid Industries 40" Light Bar Rigid Industries Ditch Lights Rigid Industries Spotlights Toyota Bed Step UltraGauge EM Plus v1.4 Vixen Air Horns, Four-Trumpet Whole bunch of decals worth about 5HP each Yakima Road Shower, 10-gal
    To make it stand, you wet it.

    To make it wet, you suck it.

    To make it stiff, you lick it.

    To get it in, you push it.

    Threading a needle isn't easy.
     
    Tactical_Panda, May 31, 2022
    #682
    Sdtrueblue, ToyoTaco25, davidstacoma and 1 other person like this.
  3. May 31, 2022 at 5:12 AM
    #683
    Tactical_Panda

    #683
    Tactical_Panda Armchair Anarchist

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2017
    Member:
    #212502
    Messages:
    7,163
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Tim
    Fredericksburg, VA
    Vehicle:
    2015 Tacoma Double Cab, Off-Road Edition
    AJT Designs Shifter AJT Designs Battery Hold-Down ARB Awning 2500x2500 ARB Twin Compressor w/ Slee Offroad Mounting Bracket Avid Brush Bar Avid Step Bars Black Rock Wheels Series 997 Type 8 Circuit Breaker/Relay Panel Custom TRD Decals Bulletproof Fabricating Raptor Grill Bulletproof Fabricating Cooling Panel Bulletproof Fabricating Tow Hook Duluth Trading Company Dog Hammock Exhaust Breather Mod eBay Special 3-Gallon Air Tank Expedition Essentials TPAM EZ Down tailgate damper Flagpole Mounts, Dual Foglight Mod Front Camera Rear Camera; full time available General Grabber tires Goat Armor Hella Supertone Horns Iggy Switch Panel Icon Dynamics Stage 3 Suspension Katskin Leather Interior KickAss camp shower LED Bed Lights LED Interior Lights Midland MXT275 GMRS Two-Way Radio OEM Audio Plus Reference 500 audio upgrade Plano Cases. 42" roof mounted, X2 Pop-N-Lock Tailgate Handle Prinsu Cab Rack Prinsu-like Shell Rack Redline Tuning Hood Struts Rigid Industries 40" Light Bar Rigid Industries Ditch Lights Rigid Industries Spotlights Toyota Bed Step UltraGauge EM Plus v1.4 Vixen Air Horns, Four-Trumpet Whole bunch of decals worth about 5HP each Yakima Road Shower, 10-gal
    Please take care. You could have Monkey Pox and not even realize it. You may be a-chimptomatic.
     
    Tactical_Panda, May 31, 2022
    #683
    Spare Parts and grdgz97 like this.
  4. May 31, 2022 at 8:24 AM
    #684
    grdgz97

    #684
    grdgz97 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2015
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    #149078
    Messages:
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    Male
    Georgetown, TX
    Vehicle:
    2015 TRD Sport DCSB
    What about his other brother, Quick Lee?
     
    grdgz97, May 31, 2022
    #684
    ToyoTaco25, davidstacoma, Spare Parts and 2 others like this.
  5. May 31, 2022 at 8:27 AM
    #685
    TexasTacoLT

    #685
    TexasTacoLT Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    John
    Killeen, TX
    Vehicle:
    '14 TRD Offroad
    3" Lift (ToyTech Coilovers and AAL) Bilstein 5100 Shocks Total Chaos UCAs Method Double Standard 17" BFG All-Terrain T/A KO2 (Removed) 33" BFG Mud Terrain Tires Colormatched Grill surround HomerTaco mesh grill insert Legacy "Toyota" Emblem Shrockworks plate rear bumper All-Pro plate front bumper w/ foglights All-Pro rock sliders Smoked Tail-lights DIY Steel Tailgate reinforcement Locking Tailgate handle Tint (15%) w/ sunstrip Tyger Tonneau cover (Removed) Bestop Soft Topper Bushwhacker colormatched fender flares DIY 8-ball shift knob DIY Amber LED grill lights DIY Debadged WeatherTech floormats Sudued US Flag door decals T-100 style tailgate decal Two way radio w/ 3' whip antenna Warn 8000lb winch CalTrend Neoprene seat covers DIY Bed tie-down anchors
    None of them were as fast as their cousin Instant Lee.
     
    TexasTacoLT, May 31, 2022
    #685
    ToyoTaco25, davidstacoma, Spare Parts and 3 others like this.
  6. May 31, 2022 at 8:30 AM
    #686
    grdgz97

    #686
    grdgz97 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    Georgetown, TX
    Vehicle:
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    Or the 3rd cousin twice removed, Sudden Lee. :notsure:
     
    grdgz97, May 31, 2022
    #686
    Spare Parts, SRH and TexasTacoLT[QUOTED] like this.
  7. May 31, 2022 at 8:32 AM
    #687
    TexasTacoLT

    #687
    TexasTacoLT Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2013
    Member:
    #113610
    Messages:
    514
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    John
    Killeen, TX
    Vehicle:
    '14 TRD Offroad
    3" Lift (ToyTech Coilovers and AAL) Bilstein 5100 Shocks Total Chaos UCAs Method Double Standard 17" BFG All-Terrain T/A KO2 (Removed) 33" BFG Mud Terrain Tires Colormatched Grill surround HomerTaco mesh grill insert Legacy "Toyota" Emblem Shrockworks plate rear bumper All-Pro plate front bumper w/ foglights All-Pro rock sliders Smoked Tail-lights DIY Steel Tailgate reinforcement Locking Tailgate handle Tint (15%) w/ sunstrip Tyger Tonneau cover (Removed) Bestop Soft Topper Bushwhacker colormatched fender flares DIY 8-ball shift knob DIY Amber LED grill lights DIY Debadged WeatherTech floormats Sudued US Flag door decals T-100 style tailgate decal Two way radio w/ 3' whip antenna Warn 8000lb winch CalTrend Neoprene seat covers DIY Bed tie-down anchors
    As quick as they all were though, none of them were as good as his great-grandfather, Ultimate Lee.
     
    TexasTacoLT, May 31, 2022
    #687
    ToyoTaco25, Spare Parts, SRH and 1 other person like this.
  8. May 31, 2022 at 11:27 AM
    #688
    USMC - Retired

    #688
    USMC - Retired No Better Friend, No Worse Enemy

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2019
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    #288256
    Messages:
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    First Name:
    Gunns
    Ty Ty, Georgia
    Vehicle:
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    The most impressive was his sister.

    Amazing Lee
     
    USMC - Retired, May 31, 2022
    #688
    ToyoTaco25, grdgz97, Spare Parts and 2 others like this.
  9. May 31, 2022 at 11:47 AM
    #689
    I.eat.tacos

    #689
    I.eat.tacos Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2018
    Member:
    #274513
    Messages:
    650
    First Name:
    Steve Rogers
    Vehicle:
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    But watch out for that lazy one.

    Hard lee...
     
    I.eat.tacos, May 31, 2022
    #689
    ToyoTaco25, grdgz97, Spare Parts and 2 others like this.
  10. May 31, 2022 at 11:58 AM
    #690
    TexasTacoLT

    #690
    TexasTacoLT Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2013
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    Messages:
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    Male
    First Name:
    John
    Killeen, TX
    Vehicle:
    '14 TRD Offroad
    3" Lift (ToyTech Coilovers and AAL) Bilstein 5100 Shocks Total Chaos UCAs Method Double Standard 17" BFG All-Terrain T/A KO2 (Removed) 33" BFG Mud Terrain Tires Colormatched Grill surround HomerTaco mesh grill insert Legacy "Toyota" Emblem Shrockworks plate rear bumper All-Pro plate front bumper w/ foglights All-Pro rock sliders Smoked Tail-lights DIY Steel Tailgate reinforcement Locking Tailgate handle Tint (15%) w/ sunstrip Tyger Tonneau cover (Removed) Bestop Soft Topper Bushwhacker colormatched fender flares DIY 8-ball shift knob DIY Amber LED grill lights DIY Debadged WeatherTech floormats Sudued US Flag door decals T-100 style tailgate decal Two way radio w/ 3' whip antenna Warn 8000lb winch CalTrend Neoprene seat covers DIY Bed tie-down anchors
    One of his relatives is buried at a cemetery down the street from me. Dead Lee.:anonymous:
     
    TexasTacoLT, May 31, 2022
    #690
    Tiny's Taco, ToyoTaco25, grdgz97 and 3 others like this.
  11. May 31, 2022 at 12:38 PM
    #691
    Texas T

    #691
    Texas T Well-Known Member

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    TX
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    '14 T Force
    And his wife has nobody now. Poor old Loan Lee
     
    Texas T, May 31, 2022
    #691
    ToyoTaco25, grdgz97, Superdave1.0 and 3 others like this.
  12. May 31, 2022 at 4:36 PM
    #692
    SRH

    #692
    SRH My horns hold up my halo

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    :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
    You guys are killin me!!!

    Nicely done!!!

    :101010::101010::101010:
     
    SRH, May 31, 2022
    #692
    imjustabill1970, Tiny's Taco, grdgz97 and 2 others like this.
  13. May 31, 2022 at 5:51 PM
    #693
    Spare Parts

    #693
    Spare Parts Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    Southern Maine
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    2022 Off Road Premium 4Runner Lunar Rock
    We might want to stop climbing this family tree before, it gets Ugh Lee.
     
    Spare Parts, May 31, 2022
    #693
    ToyoTaco25, TexasTacoLT, grdgz97 and 3 others like this.
  14. May 31, 2022 at 6:01 PM
    #694
    USMC - Retired

    #694
    USMC - Retired No Better Friend, No Worse Enemy

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2019
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    #288256
    Messages:
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    Male
    First Name:
    Gunns
    Ty Ty, Georgia
    Vehicle:
    2018 DCSB Quicksand
    There's always that one uncle that just keeps a joke going forever...

    Perpetual Lee...
     
    USMC - Retired, May 31, 2022
    #694
    ToyoTaco25, TexasTacoLT, grdgz97 and 2 others like this.
  15. May 31, 2022 at 6:04 PM
    #695
    replica9000

    #695
    replica9000 Das ist no bueno

    Joined:
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    Member:
    #5782
    Messages:
    16,379
    Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg
    Vehicle:
    2019 T4R ORP
    Just stay clear of his other cousin, who's supposedly always accused of something, Wong Lee
     
    Last edited: May 31, 2022
    replica9000, May 31, 2022
    #695
    ToyoTaco25, TexasTacoLT, grdgz97 and 2 others like this.
  16. May 31, 2022 at 6:18 PM
    #696
    davidstacoma

    #696
    davidstacoma Friendly Curmudgeon

    Joined:
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    David
    NC
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    *OEM Mods: Intermittent wipers, Fogs, Keyless Entry, Lomax
    Just leave Bruce Lee’s poor sister out of this…
    Home Lee
     
    davidstacoma, May 31, 2022
    #696
    TexasTacoLT, grdgz97, SRH and 1 other person like this.
  17. May 31, 2022 at 6:47 PM
    #697
    RangerComa

    #697
    RangerComa 58008

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    Adam
    Marin, CA
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    list is growing fast
    FTFY :p
     
    RangerComa, May 31, 2022
    #697
    PinnaclePete, Tiny's Taco, TartanEagle and 3 others like this.
  18. Jun 1, 2022 at 5:44 AM
    #698
    Wsidr1

    #698
    Wsidr1 Well-Known Member

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    There was another cousin they kinda dis-owned. Yeah, he got into the porn movie business. Unlike most of those actors, he didn't need a made up porn star name since his given name was Hard Lee.
     
    Wsidr1, Jun 1, 2022
    #698
    davidstacoma likes this.
  19. Jun 1, 2022 at 7:34 AM
    #699
    wiljayhi

    #699
    wiljayhi “..ain’t nobody’s business if I do…”

    Joined:
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    Murky Water, MB, eh?
    Vehicle:
    3G, Tuned
    Do you know why ants never catch a virus?

    Because they have little anty bodies
     
    wiljayhi, Jun 1, 2022
    #699
    grdgz97 likes this.
  20. Jun 1, 2022 at 7:37 AM
    #700
    wiljayhi

    #700
    wiljayhi “..ain’t nobody’s business if I do…”

    Joined:
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    #268685
    Messages:
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    First Name:
    Jim
    Murky Water, MB, eh?
    Vehicle:
    3G, Tuned
    Anyone know a good divorce lawyer?


    Ditcher, Quick & Hyde
     
    wiljayhi, Jun 1, 2022
    #700
    davidstacoma and grdgz97 like this.
Page 35 of 73

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