Dad jokes

My friend told me he wants to move to Switzerland. When I asked him why, he said "well I dunno, the flag is a big plus".

 

Not long ago, in a bedroom closet in Florida, there was a safe in which the household members used to store precious jewelry, cash, and other valuable items. Hanging above that safe each day on a sturdy wooden hanger was a sari that the female occupant of the room had put in there years ago after buying it on a whim. The owner would only wear it on very special occasions. The sari, thinking itself more important than the safe because she was physically above the safe in that closet and also because she was only used on such important occasions, would daily taunt the safe, insulting it constantly.

“You are just a big hunk of metal,” the sari would say to the safe each day. “All you are good for is holding baubles the owners of the house deign to throw into you!”
“Well,” the safe would reply, “even though I may not be important, at least the things they put inside me are.”

“Ha!” the sari would say. “You have never even been out of this closet. I, however, get to go to fabulous parties, meet with the most important people, and generally hobnob with the rich and famous.”

This went on year after year until the year 2004, when Hurricane Charley blew through that portion of Florida. The house was nearly leveled and the sari was blown away in the wind, never to be seen again…..never to attend any more fabulous parties…..never again to meet with the rich and famous. The safe, however, being of sturdy and heavy steel, was one of the only items in the house to withstand Hurricane Charley’s wrath.


The moral of the story is, of course, that it is much better to be safe than sari…..

 

Worst and near longest dad joke ever. Wow.

 

Dad jokes are punny, clean, quick witted, and short.

that is all.

 

People told me that I would never get over my obsession with Phil Collins, but hey...take a look at me now!

 

I feel like it takes a dad to get that one...

 

Yeah, We've Got Tonight to figure that one out.

 

I don't know about tonight - I'm busy. There's too many men, too many people causing too many problems and there's not much love to go around.

 

We’ll return to those Short Lee.

 

Well, this is the world we live in…

 

Well I've been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh lord

 

But, Love Will Keep Us Together!

 

Not usually like this. Must be something in the air tonight.

 

Against the odds, it’s a chance I’ve got to take.

 

It's the Chance of a Lifetime!

 

If it helps, you can wear my hat

 

Terrible news guys and gals - My boss said that he was going to fire the employee with the worst posture. That may not sound bad to you, but I have a hunch that it'll be me.

 

Straight up dad joke. Took some spine to admit that.