MARYLAND TACOMAS

You sir, are having the start to a great weekend!

 

We drank Modela Negra the first time in Cancun in 2005.

We (3 couples) signed up for a different tour every day of our week there when we arrived at the resort.

One of them was called Jungle Tour Snorkel Adventure. It involved fins, a mask, a snorkel and a two seater 8' long miniature speed boat.

You left the dock after extensive boat operating instructions, hand signal instructions, safety instructions, bla bla bla.

I'm getting ahead of myself though............

By day 3 my running BAC was likely around .3 and that's only because it was just way too easy. I mean, at breakfast, the server is not offering tea from the ceramic pitcher in those little cups. We learned it was tequila for our coffee. We figured this was likely not tradition and just a tourist thing. We aren't the type to offend people so.............

From a late breakfast we'd convene at the poolside bar to discuss the daily itinerary and activities. We could get coffee here too but they would have to go get it for us and we felt that was rude, so we would just go with mimosas, bloody Mary's, and margaritas, crushes.

You know, mostly fruit based beverages for the vitamins and nutrients.

After around 1400 hours, all bets were off!

So Tuesday night was a huge performance at the resort by the staff and it was great. Food, drinks, audience (aka me) participation, more drinks, then to the pool for all night water volleyball, drinking and debauchery.

Wednesday morning rolls arou.........no, slams into us, like a freaking heard of mad donkeys.

No time for breakfast, the Jungle Tour is today and we have to get there early they said.

The dock and boats were in the hotel zone so we had to cab it. We get there and they are still cleaning up from the night before. The same place is a club from like noon until......

So here we are, 6 of us, hung over AF, still buzzing, and in no means in any shape for a day zipping around on a skinny pointy dingy. So being the polite tourists we are, we introduced ourselves bla bla bla yada yada yada, the El Capitain is offering us beers. Free beers!

Remember, we're not rude people so sure, muchas gracias!

The guy reaches into the now full of water from melted ice, cooler that was in the sun all morning and starts pulling out these shorter, darker, weird shaped beer bottles and handed them to us. Like two each, saying take more if we want.

Well, it wasn't cold but it wasn't as hot as we were. Also, the dehydration was kicking in. None of us had water, or aspirin.

So we started drinking. It was like 9am. By 10am when they opened and other people started arriving we were not dehydrated any more. We also found it very suspicious that none of them wanted any beer. We didn't trust them that much after that and shot them the stink eye every chance we got.

So we are sitting on these bleacher style concrete steps and our empties are rolling around, a couple break, we have the life preservers on our heads, total drunken nonsense. So we go over the hand signals which were pretty easy but to stir the pot we just couldn't get them right. Now we were getting the stink eye. Of course none of these tours will give your money back so all of us were stuck with each other, like it or not.

Ok, now the boats...........lol if you could call them that. Yes, it was definitely the smallest speedboat I had ever been in for sure. 2 seater for average sized adults. Canary Yellow. For like 3 minutes before we even got in, we were saying "Bond, James Bond" while wearing life preservers on our heads drinking more now warm Modela Negra.

Disclaimer: Not Us, this is copied from the interwebs, but you get the idea.



So they look really cool in this photo but these are all open rear, outboard engine boats, like a freaking row boat! So sitting there was a gas can, that had a leaky hose or maybe it was just spilled fuel in the bottom mixed with the bilge. It was fiberglass but I think it was as thin as possible to sustain itself. So it creaked with every slight movement. Some of the bumper rubber was damaged in places, exposing the rough fiberglass seam, but they put some duct tape on it for us so we were good. But finally, it had a steering wheel!! Again with the 3 minutes of "Bond, James Bond" once we got into the boats!

So they go over the hand signals one more time, none of the other people were getting them right but the drunks were helping them out and scoring huge points with the instructor. We started off in a single file as requested, and we were suppose to go around the open area of the lagoon and then go into a mangrove canal then out to the ocean for snorkeling bla bla bla

All of the sudden we made up our own hand signals and the three (3 couples) of us tore out into the lagoon, and were going bonkers cutting across each others wakes, zipping in a shlolom pattern, doing donuts, racing, and basically nothing we were suppose to be doing. However, we were using our hand signals.

Never the less, the prudes wanted to go snorkeling (obviously to be done and away from us, so we said , and dropped back in line just as they got to the canal, and from there we behaved.

When we got back El Capitain asked if we had a good time, while handing us more of this new and wonderful beer called Modela Negra. I still like it to this day and will drink it before others when I want a dark beer. Tony knows what I like when we work on Tacomas. But I am not picky, or rude, and always happy to drink whatever I am offered by any host.

I also drink Belgian beers when I am in the mood for beer and want something thicker. Otherwise all those light beers or hoppy beers are not my style.
Liquor, and the stronger the better is more my style, mixed with fruit, citrus, or vegies, or neat, neat is best.

 

Ok, that last quote was started the other day, been busy AF but wanted to answer this one asap.

So I would love to watch them for you any time you need, and would gladly, except for one thing. Maizy. She is becoming quite the bitch, and not in the canine sense. She has even been hatin' on me and her sister. This morning I was going to strangle her for seriously snarling at me. Homey don't play that. She obviously knew what she did was wrong, regretted it and felt sorry for it so I milked that shit, because, in all honesty, I don't strangle anything but people, and just earlier in the morning she was spooning with me in bed. She was even making the loud yawn noises, twice, when I gave her tight hugs. Then a coupe hours later she's a mad woman.

The vet told me 4 - 6 weeks for complete recovery under perfect conditions. LMAO............. not

After this, and the past episode with my nieces two girls, no way can I trust her around any dogs. Even Phoenix is susceptible to her rage. She fights back though. She comes to my defense too when Maizy gets angry. That's all that is, but Maizy sees it as a sign of aggression I guess. Dogs are weird. Yesterday their two noses, all 5 square inches of them, were both crammed into a tuna fish can AT THE SAME TIME, trying to lick through the metal can.

So all I can offer is, in an emergency, if you need me to spend the day to help out I could probably work that out but alone of course, and not here. Maizy is just becoming too rebellious right now and needs some discipline training maybe. Or when the pain meds are wore off she is just a bitch and doesn't want to be bothered. Period.

 

Done

 

So the totally stock '21 Tacoma that I wanted to keep totally stock is slipping down the rabbit hole. I have had it one year. To date: STMaxx tires, debadged, chin strap/mud flap delete, front window tint, Eaton Detroit Truetrac rear, TRD skid plate, ARB front recovery point has been done to date. I guess I am doing a mild build? My theme is "refined redneck". Whats next? Suspension? I want a MINIMAL lift that will improve performance and be easy to keep aligned. My goal is to upgrade stuff that has let me down. I bottomed out and dinged my old splash guard pretty good, tires needed to be done because the SR5's come with car tires, I got stuck and my brother had to pull me out with his Kubota tractor and he gave me shit about the stock recovery points (he also told me I wouldn't have gotten stuck if I had a rear locker). Looking for recommendations on a modest lift/suspension upgrade. My friend that owns an offroad fabrication shop is suggesting an Icon suspension upgrade. Thoughts? (I am still considering a supercharger)

 

With what you want, the TRD pro lift might be what you want… depending on budget, @AccuTune Offroad or @memario1214 can probably help you out with suggestions. I like my Ironman but even if you set the front for minimal lift, the back will go up 2” or so.

 

I love the slightly raised level look. Hopefully that helps. Im open to suggestions.

 

Plenty of options then lol. I’m happy with the Ironman lift but when paired with E rated tires it’s pretty stiff. If your free one night or something I can drive you around with it or let you drive it around. They’re not very popular yet in the Tacoma scene but most people with them have been happy and they have been gaining traction. The kit I got came with new full leaf packs. They also have foam cell or regular nitrogen but I can’t speak for the nitrogen ones.
You might also like a new tune on your truck. It’ll drive(accelerate) and shift much better than stock. @dave5623 can help with the OTT tune or one of the newer MD members here will be doing the KDMaxx around here but I can’t remember his name.

 

Thanks. I too saw the new to the area guy post about a KDMaxx tune. Im interested for sure. Im free most every night. I am fine driving to you if you prefer. I would like to feel the difference between my stock suspension with STMaxx's vs what you have.

 

Damn, Carvana. That’s just R U D E
#triggered

 

Any DIY garage locations (looking for access to vehicle stand-under post lifts) y’all recommend for maintenance type stuff.
I’ve used on in PA but would prefer not to drive all the way out there if I don't have to. I believe Fort Meade has a garage for active duty and Veterans, just seeing what my options are. Thanks and happy Friday!

 

Fine, I’ll give you $301 and not a penny more

 

Try Self Service garage in Glen Burnie. Lifts and tools you can borrow.

 

Sweet! It’s all yours buddy.

I cry

 

Eww

 

You mean "weerrrr downy Oh!sion hun"

Go to Bad Monkey for happy hour. 2 4 1 drinks. Get the Monkey Punch!

 

You know he's been chained up in your basement.

 

Good Morning MD. Happy Saturday.

 

Morning Maryland
Another hot one here in upstate NY

 

Great story Rob
I was drinking what they call Painkillers on our recent cruise to Bermuda last month . It’s a pina colada with OJ . Good but only one kind of rum in them . So I created my own yesterday for hanging by the pool . One shot each of pineapple rum ,coconut rum and a good darker rum ,one shot of PC mix and topped with pineapple juice and OJ