PennSilverTaco's "Perfect 5-Lug Regular Cab" Build, Aspergers, and General BS MegaThread!

Originally a thread called My friend Jim's funeral is tomorrow...

As many of you know, my friend Jim passed away rather suddenly following what was supposed to be a fairly routine surgery, a little over a month ago...

I don't know quite how to explain this; Jim's service is tomorrow, and of course I am going to be there. I have only ever spoken at a funeral once before in my life, and it was for my Grandmother who like Jim was cremated; I was devastated when my Grandma passed away back in January 2015, but we knew she was going to die, and the service wasn't until August 2015 due to family scheduling issues. By then, I'd had plenty of time to grieve, and I was not particularly sad or emotional when I got up to speak.

The specific memory I spoke of at my grandma's service was in about 1994-1995 when my parents and I would drive up to my grandma's house in Connecticut from Pennsylvania in my dad's 1993 Chevy S-10 Blazer; I am very descriptive, and I mentioned every little detail, including the year, make, and model of my dad's vehicle. I had a cassette of classic sing-along songs, and whenever we were like 40 minutes or less from her house, my dad would put the cassette in and play "Over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house we go" on the Blazer's surprisingly decent factory sound system. I think I got a little bit choked up, but I didn't actually cry.

I have never been to the funeral of somebody I was this close to who died so unexpectedly, and I have some memories of Jim that I am going to share with Jim's family and friends, but I know I am going to get emotional.

I even carried my late grandmother's ashes to the burial plot, and I felt absolutely honored to do this. My grandma's ashes were buried, but Jim's ashes will spread across numerous locations that meant something to him. That's besides the point though...

I am a slightly immature, mildly autistic 30-something who has seriously never experienced loss in this way. Since 2007, I've lost three grandparents (2007, 2015, and 2017), one great grandparent (2012), and two dogs (2009 and 2019); I've never lost a friend, and I've never had the experience of expressing emotion in front of people who aren't blood relatives. I guess that is what is getting to me the most right now.

 

Just being there means a lot to his family. Best thing i can say is its ok to cry, or shed a tear. Just share what you can.

 

It’s the circle of life. Nothing wrong with being upset.

And sorry for your loss.

 

It worked fine, but I didn't much care for the interface or the lack of a changeable backlight. With the ongoing supply chain issues that forced me to buy a discounted "scratch and dent" unit ""likely to get worse, I will happily hold onto this radio as a spare of my current one does fail; I also have another Pioneer stereo that works but has a cooling fan that works intermittently...

 

Sorry for your loss. Your feelings are normal, and nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, your emotions are evidence of the significance of your friendship. The memories that you hold and choose to share will help you and others get through even the toughest of times.

 

Never heard of it.
I haven’t drank in years.

Mostly because I don’t know when to stop. Which leads to me making an absolute fool of myself.
I’m will say, I’m a happy drunk. Until I pass out and puke everywhere. Then I’m a sick drunk.
I’m lucky to have made passed 21, some how I made it to 30, and that’s when I said, I better stopping pushing my luck. Now I’m pressing 40, and rather just got to bed than to a party.

 

Great band and live show

I like the night life but not the imbibing..close to 30 and I decided enough was enough, not too far from 50 now

 

You should move to Pennsylvania, where an ancient DUI won't keep you from obtaining a gun or a license to carry one! Everyone I've told that story thinks it's a load of shit...

 

Yeah but then he has to like live in PA

 

What's wrong with PA? The annual car inspections are pretty obnoxious, but MA has them too...

 

I think it’s 1 DUI in 4 years, or 2 in 7.
I forget, the only reason I know is because a buddy got a DUI and had to forfeit his CCW.
He’s dead now and that was almost 6 years ago.

 

Allowing yourself to be vulnerable and expressing how you feel in front of others will help others do the same. It is part of the grieving process that must happen before you can heal, grow and truly honor those that you have lost. It is one of the most important parts of life and unfortunately something we need to experience to truly appreciate life. Step forward and share, others will appreciate that you did and will be there for you.

 

According to @ABA180, in Massachusetts any DUI is considered a violent crime even if nobody gets hurt or killed...

 

Dude. Sorry for your loss :/. Be a man . Men cry. Be human . Allow yourself to greave. Truly sorry.

 

@PennSilverTaco , this gentleman above is correct. The way that you are feeling is normal and the how you show your emotion will be appreciated by his family and would have been appreciated by Jim. Good luck sir. You've got this.

 

Sorry for your loss, and wish you and all those affected peace. Really respect your willingness to be vulnerable.

 

Condolences for your loss, grief can be fickle and will come in waves, many others have chimed in here... Suffice it to say, there's no wrong way or one way, you just have to go through it. In the end, make the good memories the ones that you hold onto, and don't ever stop saying his name... He always be with you that way.

 

Didn’t know that. Hope I never have to know the laws surrounding a DUI.

 

I’m terribly sorry to read about you losing of such a great friend. The best thing you can do is be yourself and don’t try to be the tough guy. If you have to cry, cry. If you have to laugh, laugh. Whatever you do speak from the heart as if he was there. Think of the good times you had and the good times to come in his honor. You were his friend and are still his friend whether he is physically present or not. He will love on through your memories. Cherish what you had and let him live in through you. When your ready to let go you’ll know wiring out your feelings and emotions will help you in this process. You’ll be in an area with people who were just as close and many who were closer. Stay strong and stay true.