Roast my Tacoma! (2nd gen edition)

Fire and Rescue's next call was to the Coroner's office...cause this thing is dead ugly. Throw a sheet over it...it's DOA

 

Good lord, if you wanted a truck that looked good with big wheels and small tires you should’ve gotten a… uhmm well nothing actually

 

Sold the old girl 6 months ago so let’s see what you got!

 

I can’t participate in the roast of this truck. My grandpa has one that looks exactly like this and if he sees the thread it would probably hurt his feelings.

 

Sold the rig six months ago and you parked some dilapidated crusted out purse pickup hot wheels wannabe in front of a quality piece of equipment. This thing doesn't deserve to be in the shadow of that magnificent machine, much less wasting the polaroid You took this picture with. And the hell is that stain on the driveway blocking a valuable cord of wood. Jebedia Jane and Joseph the garage door has dirty gravel and scrap metal in front of it. You.... Should probably see a counselor.

 

Use the equipment to dig a hole.
Bury it.
Done.

 

Neighbors appreciate the fence...so they don't have to look at that monstrosity

 

I've heard of people looking like their dog...but never their truck...

 

Listen, man.... I uh.... Well how do I say this....

Yee. Fucking. Haw. Get a hat for your truck next, make sure it compliments your viper shades. The goofy bucktooth look with the tiny braces/front lights is cute, but it's not gonna attract the 45 year old quagmire across the street. Hence the fence. Hence the double layered fence. Hence the.... Holy fuck in a barn, are those cum stains on the concrete? Or does your truck just need to change it's depends? Can't imagine the CV angles are any worse than the global-curvature-came-in-like-a-wrecking-ball Amazon wanna be light bar. At least it's semi functional, unlike the tit height ditch lights, or the little jeep jock strap waving around up front. And for the sake of all the hay in the field.... Sweep your fucking driveway, bring a little dignity back to your front lawn. Tell your mum to give your sock a tug, maybe she'll find your balls in there somewhere.

 

After a few drinks I gotta say your insults just hit different

 

Take it...TAKE IT!!!!

 

OOF!

 

I would like to thank everyone for contributing these god-awful pictures of these terrible trucks. Gives me something to let all of my inner creativity out on. It's cathartic. Keeps me sane. And I would like to thank Toyota for making the ugliest generation of tacomas so easy to roll up and toss like a toddler tosses tootsie rolls because let's be real, they suck. Just like second gen taco turds.



Lastly I would like to thank @perlhammer 's mum for [REDACTED]

 

Let's do this!

 

You think driving around with mud splashes on your truck disguises/legitimizes the fact that you have a non-functional hood scoop.

 

wow, fully and thoroughly roasted. I salute you

 

Let's do what? Your 5th run to Home depot to try and look tough in the rain? Can your short stature overcome your short sightedness and minus Instagram points for a hood scoop that looks worse than Beyonce's Superbowl halftime facial expressions? And express nothing with your 0-60 time of "maybe" but at least no one will see you coming with your smoked out blacked out headlights. Blacked out rattle canned wheels and street tires just scream wanna be skid from the hood, and the shit stain splashback is a nice accent, goes with the storage unit aesthetic. Hope the manager doesn't see you taking pics and spoiling his beautiful tarmac, or he'll kick you back out to @perlhammer 's driveway. At least he took pictures of his dilapidated scrap heap in front of his own shed, fucking freeloader. Get a job.