Aviation BS and Photo Thread

This was passed out to me as I boarded a C-47 in Vientiane, circa 1966. {The USAF operated birds did not have any stewardess nor food, but the Royal Air Lao ones did (both).}

Passenger Information Sheet


If you would kindly observe the following rules, it will be a hell of a lot easier and more comfortable for the crew. After all, whose airplane is it?


1.) Keep your feet off of the seats.

2.) Don’t get snotty with the crew. Remember, your pilot is still learning to fly. He is more scared than you are.

3.) Keep your goddamn feet off the seats.

4.) If a fellow passenger becomes too nervous, belt him over the head.

5.) Tip each crew member prior to landing.

6.) If the pilots get into a fight over who is to fly the airplane, do not interfere! Our insurance does not cover fist fights or passengers.

7.) Keep your goddamn feet off of the seats.

8.) Leave each crew member a healthy tip.

9.) Do not ask embarrassing questions, such as “Who made THAT landing?”, or “When are we going to land?”, or “Where are we?”, etc.

10.) If you don’t like the food, go to hell.

11.) Keep your goddamn feet off the seats.

12.) Only six people allowed in the lavatory at any one time; and then only when one of the crew is not using it.

13.) Stay out of the crew’s crap game. It is strictly private.

14.) Let’s keep your feet off of the seats, goddamn it.

15.) Be thankful if you arrive anywhere, and don’t forget to feed the kitty.

16.) Always let the crew deplane first; as the damn plane may be on fire.

17.) Do not leave the aircraft in a wild-eyed, screaming, clawing rush. It might have an adverse effect on the new passenger, beside scaring the hell out of the crew.

18.) Keep your hands off of all female passengers. They are strictly Pilot Property.

19.) Keep your doggamn feet off the seats.

20.) Don’t be so inconsiderate as to ask for a magazine, newspaper, or playing card before the crew has had a chance at them first.

21.) If the engine stops or falls off, do not show any fear. It might frighten the crew. Have a martini.

22.) In instrument weather, always share your grog with the crew.

23.) Herzr Krabctb goddamn Worn Ha Kpecra.

24.) If lightning strikes – strike back.

25.) Keep your goddamn feet off the seats.

26.) If your return flight is scheduled for early Sunday – forget it. Your pilot will be DNIF (Drunk, Not Interested in Flying).

27.) Infrared cameras are prohibited in the cockpit, bunk, and bar areas onboard the aircraft.

28.) Don’t thumb your nose at the MIGs. We do not have enough parachutes.

29.) If your night out before the flight was a rough one, don’t expect sympathy from the pilots – they are hung-over too.

30.) Ne mettez pas von goddamn pieden sur le chaise.

31.) Leave all “good” phone numbers with the crew – they’ll be back.

32.) For an additional fee, the stewardess will remove all lipstick stains from your shirts.

33.) Tip big, you’re on per diem.

34.) Push the VIPs off first in case the natives are not friendly.

35.) Verboten mitt die goddamn fuss vom die citzplatz.


By order of:
Ivan Hardon
Captain, USAF
Aircraft Commander

 

I live north of the city of ATL (by the Mall of GA) and was going to the mall yesterday when a small fixed wing went over me on the I-985 bridge flying VERY low.

I knew it was going down and luckily he landed on I-985 and nobody was injured --- It was a Piper Cherokee - N7470R

Traffic was a mess on I-985 for hours until the aircraft was towed off to the next exit.

https://www.fox5atlanta.com/news/small-plane-emergency-landing-interstate-gwinnett-county

 

Seeing something like that, with the knowledge something ain't right, causes you to hold your breath until that pillar of black smoke appears. Hope you kept breathing.
Pilot did a good job avoiding so many obstacles. Nice outcome for a bad situation.

 

Apologies in advance for the low quality iPhone pics. Yesterday we had the first flight of an F-16 built here in SC at Lockheed Martin (KGYH). This block of aircraft is supposed to be delivered to Bahrain. If I understand correctly, they plan to build one per month. This particular F-16 will soon be delivered to Edwards AFB where pilots from Bahrain will come to train in the aircraft. An IAI Kfir was brought over here to be used as a "chase plane" while doing testing maneuvers. Pretty cool to see!

 

On Sunday we responded to a surfer in distress near Davenport, CA. He got jammed up at the bottom of a 100’ cliff in heavy surf and rip currents. We short hauled him from 130’ as well as 2 fire department rescue swimmers who needed immediate extraction from the same area. I had a newer pilot in the right seat who had not yet entered his cliff rescue qualification syllabus, so this was a bit of a fire hose for him. Our Yaw channel failed completely, we had heavy down drafts from the Santa Cruz mountain range which caused uncommanded descents and 20% power fluctuations. It took both pilots on controls to maintain stability and keep the nose from swinging left to right +/ - 30 degrees. I was very happy that it wasn’t at night on NVGs.

 

I have a couple friends out there at airsta humboldt.


I guess I’m not Subbed to this thread. I’m a USCG AMT on the mh65. I fly in a lot of the same areas as humboldts northern jurisdiction.

also my fiancé works in private business aviation. I work on planes and go home and talk about planes lol

 

.
...^^^... The news today said there were 2 people in the aircraft .... IP and student .... and the IP landed it.

Maybe a good lesson (with experience) for the both of them ?

 

Northbend?

 

Yup not my favorite part of the country but the job is worth it

 

Welcome to the thread

 

Don’t think my latitude has a chance in this game of chicken

 

Not with that attitude.

 

Fun fact: The early generation of B-747 aircraft had depleted uranium counterweights on the upper rudder and the outboard elevators.

 

I was changing a blown tire on a F33A 200 yards in front of an Evergreen 747 doing full power engine runs.....makes you work that much faster)

 

Funny that comes up today. We are doing the delivery celebration for the final 747 a little later today. It's setup like a concert with lights and a stage and everything just outside where my lab is. The plane is sitting out in front of the building on display for everyone to go look at and take pictures. It just an Atlas cargo plane though so not anything that looks very exciting.

 

I could probably taxi between engine 3&4 and not hit anything

 

I don’t fly planes, but I do give them fuel when they ask for it.

 

A lot of us pilots have worked the line too. Thank you for your hard work.