Whatever

Eat more possum

 

Okay, having a first-world crisis here. My oven light won’t turn off. I’m assuming the switch is the spring loaded thingy the door pushes in when closed. But it doesn’t do anything when I push it in. It’s sitting there using up my electricity.

 

He looks like “You better be glad I have a Don’t-bite-the-hand-that-feeds-me policy”

 

Dog: am i joke to you??

 

What a good boy.

 

I figured it out. I just unscrewed the bulb. The oven goes with the house so the new owner can deal with it.

But it reminded me of a joke. As most things do…

It wasn’t looking good for the old man so the family was called to come pay their last respects.
“Is my dear wife here?” Asks the old man feebly.
“Yes darling, I’m right here at your side.”
“And my children? Are they all here?”
“Yes, dad we’re all here. And your grandchildren too”
“My brother, Ralph? My sister, Nancy? Are you here?”
“Yes, dear brother. We’re right here. Along with all your nieces and nephews”
“Then why the hell is the kitchen light on?”

 

That worked out a little too well.

 

I found 12 of these unopened cans of oil today. According to eBay they’re selling for $100 to $175 each depending on condition .

 

they're no good. Send them to me, i'll dispose of them properly

 

Just in time for a new rifle!

 

You want me to pay shipping too?

 

I like your way of thinking!

 

of course