Parental Advice

So I have a 11 year old daughter that's been playing soccer since she was about 5. She is currently on a travel team that plays pretty much all year. She is getting great training and is on a good team with a great bunch of girls.

The issue now is she says " that it's not fun". In addition she doesn't have any school friends that play at this level but mostly due competition Cheerleading. She now want's to quit soccer and try out or be on this neighborood Cheerleeding team b/c it's what her school friends are doing.

As a parent I'm torn b/c I'd much rather have her playing soccer....we have alot invested and she's a good player! So I ask you TW, what would you do? Advise her that soccer is what she should continue doing (not let her quit) or support the fact that she want's to try something new?

 

Well man im still a youngen so I dont have kids but from past experince from my earlier days I used to play baseball. Well after 6th grade I started hating it and wanted to start football (which I finally did in 9th grade). However my father forced me in the leauge that is baseball two more years. Those were the worst two years all I did was fight with my dad and really slacked out. If I were you I'd let her do what she feels more comfortable with, because now that im playing what I want im more layed back and its kinda my thing.

 

yeah don't force her into anything. but do enforce her at least finishing the season, I know you must've paid a signup fee

 

I'm not a parent, but I am/was a child. My parents let me play whatever sport I wanted. They also let me quit whatever sport I wanted, and I am grateful for that. I would say let her play whatever sport she wants. . . "When it's no fun, it's time to try something else" That's what my mom always told me.

 

x2

 

Thanks for your post! How old are you if u don't mind me asking?

 

17, so it wasn't to long ago

 

well,i have 3 kids and have had similar issues like that...might as well let her do what she wants......

 

Yup same here. I think you probably got here started kinda early. Ive played AYSO since i was five but i didnt really start competitively until high school. I know a lot of people who played competetively younger and who get burnt out. Id say let her do what she wants, and hopefully she'll come back to soccer in hs. Also encourage her to play other sports instead of cheerleading.

 

Well, my dad used to LOVE baseball. He grew up in Brooklyn with the Dodgers. His dad was a federal agent (G man) and occasionally, it was a game that his dad would look for what 'speak easy' he could find Babe in. My dad would get to have autographs as my Gfather (punny huh?). Baseball was everything to him.

I remember seeing my dad getting into arguments with my oldest brother - "You are going to play baseball and you're going to like it!!" My dad coached Little Leage for 13 years.

It was mandatory for all of the boys in my family to play baseball. He would rarely show up to any games but for him it represented the world. I hated it 'cause it was for his show. I was interested in other sports and did well in them. He was not excited about them and thought baseball was everything.

My dad passed a couple of years ago and I had a good relationship with him in his later years but that baseball thing really put some real tension in our relationship in the early years.

I would give up 10 years of my life to have my dad back but not during the baseball years.

My advice would be to keep your desires quiet (for the most part), set boundries and see the glory that you have! I realize that we all want what we want but for her to discover her passions and strengths will be more valuable to both of you! I promise!

 

I would let her try cheerleading if thats what she wants to do. Back her up 100%. She is only 11 yrs. old, so let her experience something different. If she misses soccer she can always go back.

 

My daughter is 10 and she joined a swim team last year. Loved it at first and just decided it wasn't for her( love her, but she sinks like a brick) but she said she wanted to finish out the season. We've instilled in her not to quit just because your not the best or whatever. It'll follow her the remainder of her life.

 

Definately finishing out the season...fee or no fee! It's a big one btw

Thanks for your input!

Yeah started pretty early and it's pretty competitive now. Cheerleading WTH is that? My moto is I'd rather be cheered for!

I enjoyed baseball as a youth and played it till I was 25. I don't want to be that parent though! Thanks for sharing your experience...point taken!

 

You are in a tough spot... Im only 19 right now so I know nothing about parenting but I am a firm believer that the parent has the power and not the child. A parent does (should?) know what is best for the child. Pay attention to her and how she acts after practice and stuff like that. Of course shes gonna come home from school saying that she wants to be a cheerleader because thats obviously all shes around all day at school. If shes having a good time with soccer then push her hard to stay. Use your judgment, i know you've learned a thing or two about her in eleven years.


Another possible option is to do both. Yes its a hell of a burden on you but my parents did it with me. I did soccer and baseball and I ended up choosing one over the other eventually. Good luck man...

 

Haha hopefully for you its just a stage, but ya If I were you I would probably encourage he just to "try" other sports, and if she doesn't like them she doesn't have to pursue them, but hopefully she finds something that she likes better than cheerleading or at least in addition to cheerleading.

 

bump

 

I have two daughters, 18 and 10. You want them to excel but you don't want them quit for the wrong reason. My 18 year old wanted to quit viola for the school band, we asked the she not; she was glad to have stuck with it (always a good grade and added to her transcript for college).

Older has been a swimmer since she was 8 or 9 and loves it. At some ages she was looking to do something more with 'school friends' but stuck out swimming. It was best for her.


Maybe there is a way to do both (soccer practice is probably way more grueling than cheering so she has the stamina i would imagined).


Remember, whatever we pay for activities for our kids, sports, music, art, etc. it is All Cheaper than Bail!

 

my 0.02 is comprimise. if its a traveling soccer team try to find a summer soccer league or something. she may not be playing with girls as talented as her, but she will hopefully be able to maintain her skills. obviously she is probably pretty good if she is on what i imagine to be a "select team". so there may be a future in it or at least some time of scholarship. if after a year or two of doing that she still wants to focus on cheerleading let her. being good at a sport is awesome, but playing a sport your not happy with will just make you hate it and she will probably give up on it. just my 0.02

 

I would suggest dialing back the soccer a little bit. Too much of anything and it'll start to feel like work. Let her play a couple seasons out of the year (like a spring/fall) and when she gets older she may see the value in it and want to play more and harder. But don't let her quit.