Florida B.S. Thread

Thats the only nice part about the humidity in Florida. It keeps your skin and all moist.

 

You got a pic of that girl jesse?

 

X2

 

John you play on PS3 or Xbox?

 

I will get one tomorrow when shes awake. dont be creepin now

 

Tim, if I do hook up with this girl what do I do to you know "get some" even if its just a bj?

 

that sentence is hard to comprehend.

 

sorry, I'm a lil tired so.......If I do start dating this girl what do I do to get some ass?

 

I'm screwin with you
I'm just tired/bored so I figured I'd screw with someone

 

If you like her then you don't want to get some for at least a month or so of talking, cuz if she gives it to YOU the first night she will give it to anybody. But fear not my little buddy. You just asked the right people.

Ok, here's what you do. First of all, you can't make her go straight BJ. You have to let her do it herself. But I can draw you a picture of what I used to do when I was a kid.

It might take a date or two, possibly a little alcohol if she won't loosen up.

First, you have to be alone, of course (unless you're a swinger). You have to complain about a neck/back pain early in the night, but don't sound like a bitch. This is just to put it in her mind so it doesn't seem like you're creepy later on.

Second, go on date or whatever, dinner, movie...You can figure this part out yourself.

C. If you are feeling like a boss and/or she is a nice (corny) girl then you drive out to Citrus and tell her that you wanna know her and just talk.

If you have gotten this far then proceed to 4.

4. If she agrees to this then you will park in an open but secluded place where you can see the stars/moons, or whatever.

Fif. This is where you have to be a confident manly man. Just tell her shit about yourself but only after she is done making word vomit about her own "special". Everytime she talks about a hard period in her life, you turn to her and say something like "yeah" or "me too" or "OMG"....whatever feels right. But when you're just making stupid chit chat look back up at the stars. Don't let there be awkward pauses for more than 10 secs. Try to look like you're actually listening and thinkin about what she's saying.

Six. If the mood is right, which it may not be, and if it's not you might as well end the night here. Ask for a back massage, like a good one where you lie on your belly and they sit on your bum.

7. After a couple minutes, cuz you don't want her to get bored you roll over onto your back, but make sure she is still sitting on you. If she moves then call it a night. BUT IF SHE STAYS YOU'RE IN THE GAME AND NOW YOU CAN DO ONE OF TWO THINGS.


8. If she's not a whore then pull her down and kiss her. DO NOT ASK TO KISS HER. The end.

9. But if she is, then you roll her back down beside you and tell her to massage your chest (cuz her hands feel good or something). If she's game and her hand is on your stomach grab it and move it down to your dick. GAME FUCKING OVER.

60% of the time, it works everytime.

 

Or you can just have a kegger get her in your room, skip to the last step and save like 3 hours like I used to do.

 

Oh, and if you do manage to get a kiss say this after with like a smirk "Your lips are so soft" They eat that shit up.

 

Oh, I also forgot. Make sure you look at her body language to tell if she is flirty with you.

Facing you, not away.
Plays with hair.
Touches you on hand, shoulder or leg.

 

60% success rate, huh Tim?
Good luck Jesse!

 

That's some Damn good information shoot I might use that next time lol. But I play xbox

 

the truth has been spoken

 

haha i guess this just turned into love line.

 

Shipping from tire rack was like $100?

I know I'm pretty excited to finally get those on.

They are finally coming out of the closet

Sounds like an awesome time! I am rather jealous

Making some progress huh? Most of the steel my dad gets for his stuff is from a local scrap yard and most of its pretty cheap.

Ahahahhaha

Ill vouch for that, I tore up hardrock and citrus with I used to have my LTX MS's

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

 

Thanks for the info Tim
Now, I'm gonna have to copy and paste all that into a word document and print it out.

 

Lol