Whatever

The enlisted creed ... applied when dealing with zeroes.

 

Good Morning!

 

feeling better?

 

Yes, sir! Remember, I'm a professional!

 

In college, I lived in a 6br townhouse thing and in the kitchen we had a puke leader board - every time any one of us puked [from drinking] we were required to log it on the board.

I learned how to use a calculator inappropriately - and then a pager..
420 means - - -

 

Random mythbusting…

If, like me, you often lay awake at night, wondering if it’s actually possible to light a fart, I’ve done some research.
According to a study conducted by the renowned Mayo Clinic, it is entirely possible to light the gases emitted from your posterior orifice. Due to the presence of methane and other flammable gases. They do not recommend that you do so, for obvious reasons.
So, apparently, this is not a myth. Please share your own thoughts and/or experiences. Inquiring minds want to know if you’re a sick, masochistic individual.

 

I have not ... however I witnessed my cousin conduct a successful ignition.

 

My cousin had to pat out the lingering flickers from his jeans.

 

i, um, uh, yeah, know, um, uh, a, guy, uh, who, um, torched, um, uh, his, um, polyester pants, one, uh, time, yeah, just that once.....oh, um, and, uh, yeah, aloe is your friend....

 

Polyester?

That's Darwin worthy.

 

This is why I prefer denim and leather...

 

You can put me down for 3 this past Saturday.

An old boyfriend of my Moms whose name was Bob Lee taught us how he could spell his name on a calculator with a bunch of other fun and probably not appropriate tricks using said calculator to spell out different words using different forms of math.

 

Professional Puker

 

I believe that is attributed to either Mark Twain or WC Fields.

My two favorites from WC are:

“A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.”

“It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.”