Sobriety.... One year later... Please Read.

I have been with my wife since Fall of 2016. We moved in together a short time later as we lived 3 hours apart. In 2018 we got engaged. She wanted to be married in a specific venue that had a long wait list. We set the date for 9-12-2020. All was well until covid hit.

My wife has had some really messed up things happen in her life. Must like the OP, she filed them away and moved on until spring of 2020. When everything shut down, her word did not allow her to do so. She got with her doctor about FMLA for mental health reasons. The filed the paperwork and sent it to her work. They fought it tooth and nail. It took awhile for them to submit but she was able to get the time away. Matter of fact, while they were fighting it, they changed their policy on it but because she filed before then, they could not stop her from doing it. This is where things when sideways. While she was off for 3 months or so, she only used her PTO time as she had that much saved up. When it was time to return to work, she was so paranoid about the other workers. They even had a day class on mental heath education, signs, ect... Shortly before she returned to work, she would stay up all night drinking. After her return to work, it got much worse. I didn't know how bad it was though. She would pass out outside, be late to work ect. I remember the specific day she first hit rock bottom. I left for work and she was already on the porch. We exchanged the normal love you, see you tonight and I left. A few hours later, I received a call from her work saying that she was taken to the hospital. In that instance, I knew what was going on. I didn't know if she was in a wreck, hurt, or what but I did know that she was drunk. I left my job to go pick her up, I also called her parents on the way. She was in fact drunk. We fought and argued to the point that she wanted to walk in the rain instead of riding with me. Matter of fact, she was going to jump out of my truck if I didn't stop. Her parents were a few miles away. She sat on the side of the road in the rain, she tried to hitchhike, ect... Finally when her parents arrived, it was mess. We were pissed at each other, she was pissed at her parents, ect. It got to the point where a resident to where we were call the sheriff on us all. We finally go her wrangled and went home. Her dad took me to her work to get her car. Once I got there I seen it was wrecked. I did some investigation and came to the conclusion she hit the structural upright at the back of her workplace. She reversed and when that happened, it ripped the front bumper of the car off. I went though her work area and grabbed things that I knew was hers. A few days later, her work told her they were investigating what happen but in the mean time they needed her keys back. She setup a time to return it. A few weeks later, they let her know that the statements she said that day was were her resignation. The statement was "I'm done with this place." She was required to submit access from their facebook page in order to get the owed PTO she had remaining. She setup a time to get the rest of her belongings and turnover the facebook page. I think this was extremely a BS excuse from them.

After loosing her job, she did nothing but drink. It took a HUGE toll on us. From April/May of 21 through Fed of 22 she didn't work at all. It was a struggle. She end up getting a job that was a 1099 worker. She did that from March of 22 to September of 22. She still drank. I did everything I could to get through to her on it. Sat and talked to her and her parents, Anything I could to get her to just not go overboard. It wasn't until December of 22 that she was drunk, and went out to a local gas station to buy more. She fell asleep at the wheel there. The cops came and woke her up, and took her in. While she didn't spend a night in jail, she was in the system and had a court date. With the court system, she was required to have random pee tests via probation officer, therapy, 1 year probation. It was at that point she stopped drinking, kind of. She would grab cough syrup from what I seen on my Kroger app the first couple of weeks. She has not had a drink since, she is over 300 days sober as of today. She has renewed her teaching license and is now a teacher at a local school. She is doing very well. After years of this, things are looking up again.

I was on the opposite of this and its not easy for anyone involved. We recently learned that her cousin is somewhat starting on the downward path. His wife was talking to my wife and I and it sounded so familiar. I want to reach out in some fashion but I don't know how.

 

This. I've long said "if you think being an addict sucks, try loving one"..I now see what I did to those around me despite my argument that I'm not hurting anyone so LMTFA.

How to reach out, not sure but I guess let it be known to the person or loved ones (depending on comfort level) in general that she's sober. Perhaps that will spark interest. It's happened with me a lot of times that people approach me to talk or more.

Give her a hug and well done please

 

I have told her many times and I will continue to tell her just how proud I am of her.

 

That helps a lot. Totally. I navigated my last couple of drunken years and first few months of sober life solo as far as a paramour.

 

I’ve got my 1 year coming up on December 29th!

 

Awesome! I’m nearly 9 months sober and holding strong!

 

Right on brother! Keep it up

 

Just checking in on everyone. Hope all of you are doing well.

 

Thanks Craig. I am therefore I continue to Trudge.

 

7 months today , alcohol, life long issue,with breaks in between, had 8 years once, best advice I got one day at a time , - hope all is as you desire

 

Good on You, Man. This is one journey one should never attempt alone.

 

26 months; 24 hours at a time. unfortunately going through a divorce in sobriety and definitely feeling all the feels. This too shall pass.
Hope all is well with everyone, if you need another sober contact, I’ll give anyone my number.

 

Almost 14 months! I’m now SMART facilitator certified and working to put a weekly meeting together in my area!

 

Who would have thought best way of keeping it is by giving it way.

 

the continual improved clarity and sense of peace is astounding.

 

16 months last week!

 

Much love man, I"m not too far away if you want to link up.

 

Day 88 for me