Whatever

After dinner my wife asked if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I made it.

 

I believe eet!!! Mine puts it on dair!! Had to get da kid try-sarah-top house shoes!

 

I want to name my puppies Rolex and Steinhart so I can have watch dogs.

 

Why should you never brush your teeth with your left hand?
Because a toothbrush works better.

 

What do you call a fish with no eye?
fsh

 

which reminds me...


Gritto's Last Flight


I guess you could say it was memorable.
It was a connecting flight from Chicago's O'Hare to Harrisburg, PA.

Allegheny Airlines.
Which, after a number of complicated mergers, became US Air
That was in the future though, at the time in question it just was a shitty little regional carrier.

I was scruffy and tired, waiting for my flight.
This Hare Krishna asshole wouldn't leave me alone.
Finally, I boarded my airplane, and it was way less than half full.
It was an old, worn-out Boeing 707.

There was turbulence... the whole long way.
That old plane rattled like a bucket of bolts, and I ain't kidding.
I got airsick.

I'll never fly again

 

Why are peppers the best at archery?
Cause they habanero

 

On Saturday, I went to Jim Thorpe, Pa. It was crowded AF. As we were heading for the train, 3 young men all dressed up asked me and my wife if we would like to go to church with them on Sunday. At the same time, my wife emphatically said “NO” and I said “Fuck Yeah”

(they was from one of them churches that want your money)

 

...a little boogie start for a big Boogie Man week

 

Never had a pedicure and don't plan to

 

With this you channeled @HoboDave . Well done.

 

What?

 

On a roll ...

 

Dafuq es "Steinhart" ?

 

@G8R_Taco