I want stories of lunatic neighbors

I wish that you could be my crazy neighbor.

 

Be careful what you wish for.

 

You’d be better than the dumbhead I have now. Every times he sees me he says “How do” WTF does that even mean?

 

Does your neighbor hail from the remote back woods of Maine, the kind that punctuates sentences with an a'yup?

Or is he one of those nice-guy fedora tippers that insists on addressing the safeway cashier as m'lady?



I need to get my mental picture straight.

 

Geeze... if that's the worst your neighbor does then maybe it's YOU that's the crazy neighbor.

 

He’s just a garden variety, plain Jane weirdo with a big belly and a stupid greeting line. I can’t really tell you any more about him because I can’t get past his greeting for the last 28 years.

 

Well Duh, Einstein.

 

Had a guy I went to college with that I hung out with off and on for a couple years but didn't know very well. Everyone knew he was a vet on GI bill but he never talked about his service. One day the news started talking about a local who was nominated for a commendation that wasn't common (Don't remember what). Turns out this guy, while under fire, had drug 5 fellow soldiers out of a burning vehicle that was hit by an IED. He was mad that the news covered it and didn't want the award. He just wanted to be left alone and not think/talk about it.

Along the lines of the ship, a guy I used to work with drove convoys in the early days of OEF. The subject of PTSD came up. He said there were several instances of the Taliban pushing kids in front of convoys, then ambushing the convoy when they stopped. So their orders were that unless there was a suspected IED or ambush they did not slow down no matter what. He said it never happened to him but several guys he served with had SEVERE PTSD because they ran over kids and had to keep going.

 

Thanks for proving my contention...

 

Damn, that’s dark.

Reminds me of those bleak, Scandinavian murder movies, where two neighbors living in a remote ass town in the arctic circle despise each other, but can’t remember why.

 

that’s why I want @Rock Lobster as my neighbor. He has more than one line.

 

I think too sometimes people forget that there's a difference between the person and the job. General as I can put it.

 

Seems similar to the page 1 post I made. Shouldn't be doing that anyway but if you have that kind of house and car it's especially not someone else's problem. Then again sometimes that's why people with money have it, they do shit like this to save a buck.

When I first moved into my house 19 years ago they used small bins for recycling, one for paper and one for plastic. There was a local person who would take cans out for the deposit money. I don't care about that, help yourself but don't throw the rest of the stuff on my lawn as I saw him doing one day. So the next week I waited until he started fishing around and walked outside..I said "I don't care if you take the cans, that's fine, but don't toss other stuff out of the bin". He actually asked who do I think I am? I said "the person who lives here and is tired of you coming on his property, making a mess that I have to clean up!"

 

Oh we will have fun. We will definitely go full Banshees of Inisherin. That's one of my best skills.

 

I think if this was a city like where my parents live where trash collection is fully paid for by the city it’s more forgivable because it’s harder to prove harm when you’re not paying for trash collection, but when you are paying a premium for trash collection and have to pay extra to go to the dump because there’s no room in your trashcan it becomes extremely infuriating.

 

Exactly, though I don't want people just pulling up to my house doing that either way..who knows what is in the bag as well?

All the more incensing when it costs the person who lives there time, money, general headaches.

 

to you for managing to not engage him further for 28 years!!


I had a neighbor across the cul/da/sac - we only waved to one another, for 11 years till he moved.
Literally never spoke, always waved.
Seemed like a nice dude but had no reason to

 

Well, maybe not lunatic but lazy as hell. One neighbor got a notice from the Postal Delivery worker "Mailman" that his mailbox was coming off the mailbox post and that he was going to stop delivery of mail
unless it got fixed. The LAZY neighbor took a roll of duct tape and wound it around the mailbox and post. Looks like hell. This guy is an Administrator at a private well known college here in town so it's not like he can't afford to hire
a handyman to get the job done.

My next door neighbor lets his yard go to hell, it's a mess, weeds growing over onto my property, his hedge is overgrown to the point where it's starting to push out the fence boards onto my side. I took it on myself
to trim the top of the hedge that was so tall it was blocking the sun coming into my kitchen window. He got pissed and complained that a couple of the clippings fell into his yard. I think this is their first single family home and have no idea how to be responsible neighbors. His side gate keeps falling down, I hear him out there periodically tapping away with a hammer that I swear is one of those plastic kids hammers you get in a toy tool chest.

The homes in my neighborhood are all over $1,000,000 (I bought 38 years ago)

 

My wife used to work in Adoptions for the County. Lots of kids need a chance at a good home.

 

My mom and dad had Foster Kids in their home for over 20 years, something like 100 kids during that time. Most of the time it was the birth parents who were screwed up.