Whatever

I just called up the alcoholics helpline…

To ask them how to make a margarita

 

Bartender: “I see your glass is empty. Can I bring you another?”

Me: “Why would I want two empty glasses?”

 

He's a poet, he's a picker
He's a prophet, he's a pusher
He's a pilgrim and a preacher, and a problem when he's stoned
He's a walkin' contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction,
Takin' ev'ry wrong direction on his lonely way back home
- Kris Kristofferson

 

I learnt my lesson about day drinkin long long ago!

 

What is that?

 

Best part about retirement. Time of day means nothing

 

Don't do it, it just does not end well.

I was like 16 and got super hammered at the beach. I came home at like 1500.
Work called [Target] and wanted me to come in.
I explained why that wasn't a good idea but they seemed to be okay with it, just needed a warm body. I felt like absolute shit for the full 8hr shift - then I went and got dunk again, cause . . . .

I might have done some light day drinking in college at football games but nothing like that day; I was so miserable

 

Your sister appears to be quite younger than you.

 

That’s her granddaughter
Edit: Though my sister actually is 12 years younger than me

 

Rookie!

 

Breaking News Cowboys Fans!!!!


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