I’m missing the point. Where do I go from here?

I am looking for a constructive conversation to help me figure out where to go ‘professionally’. Any and all advice is welcome.
I apologize for how this will probably read, but I want to do my best to be short. Hopefully from this post I can finally settle. My professional ‘stall’ is sort of causing the rest of life’s dominoes (buying home, marriage, kids, etc.) to be delayed. Although, Im not much for keeping up with jones or ya know believing in these certain so called necessary check points. Things are feeling dark because my career isn’t giving me much hope of a future, especially financially.. let me explain:

So here’s my background: I am a 27 yr old male. My parents are working class, my mother pushed paper and my father was a chef and in food and beverage. From my late teen years, I started to chew on the idea of becoming a doctor. I went to college open-minded, but it seemed logical to use my knack for the sciences which I enjoyed and I loved how medicine meshed that with people. I did well in undergrad, and I graduated as fueled as ever, ready to fall deeply in love with my work, which no matter how ardous, was to benefit other people. Maybe it was sort of depressive, but I felt like my time here would be short (as it is for all of us) and it seemed noble, it was a way to avoid a ‘real job’ and I could focus on taking care of people. I truly believed that I could make a great living doing good things for the community. Well…… my experiences did not affirm this. End the ‘bright eyed and bushy tailed’ chapter

I started working after undergrad as a medical assistant for a narcissistic doctor, a dermatologist. I stayed, despite making virtually no money and the abuse. It felt like what I had to do to get very needed experience and insight into a field I had only studied from afar. My job let me go during the pandemic, encouraging me to apply for unemployment, which I could not qualify for as I was a recent college grad.
i moved home, began scribing for a cardiologist. The job gave me carpal tunnel, and my boss/doctor, albeit a great man, he wasn’t perfect and he made me question if I wanted to be in his shoes. A solo doc, fighting for his patients but in a broken system. Things weren’t perfect. I didn’t leave this job feeling very inspired, mostly because I felt like he wasn’t a strong mentor. He frequently looked me dead in my eyes and told me not to ‘do this’ right before we would see a patient. Those experiences, and leaving the job hurt made me feel.. like I needed to grit my teeth and persevere. Mind you, at this time it is peak pandemic. I am also struggling to continue to type my medical school applications after work, as my wrists were hurting pretty bad.
I finally train my replacement and leave.
I end up back in dermatology as a medical assistant. Well, even though I have the most interesting stories here, I’ll skip over this. Again, not an experience that inspires me very much. Although I continue to find the medicine and people ultimately rewarding. I feel very burnt out, and questioning of my place in the field and so forth. I don’t hold a lot of respect for this doctor. Less malicious than my first boss, but much more careless, risk taking and greedy. During this job, I am in my 2nd application cycle to medical school, I finally get my first interview (at a GREAT school). The stars align and I finally feel like maybe my somewhat childish wishes and dreams of making positive change in the healthcare space could be possible. 5 days before my interview, my best friend dies of an overdose. I interview really well given the circumstances, my 2 big interviews go really well, and they both state to me that they will endorse me. Unfortunately, I get rejected after being waitlisted. I decide, despite some logistical issues, that I shouldn’t immediately reapply. I move to a new city, am unemployed for a bit but finally work my way back into a hospital.

I still work at this hospital, but since. I’ve had to move on from chasing medical school. The problem is, I’m not enjoying my current work very much for reasons. This ‘quarter life crisis’ has been weighing on me for years. Let me make a follow up post detailing some more, relevant and current things about my situation. Thanks for reading.

 

This may or may not be help to you in 40 years old and have been working since I was 17, I realized most people will never work their dream job or when they achieve what they think is their dream job it ends up becoming a nightmare
I’ve had jobs I’ve enjoyed and jobs I’ve absolutely detested whether it be vile incompetent coworkers politics etc or the job itself

what I realized is the best case scenario most people can get themselves into is find a job/career you can tolerate. Some days will be good others will be absolutely bullshit where you want to rage quit but if you find a place you can tolerate you it’s actually not too bad. Worst feeling in the world is going to a job you dread

 

Thanks for sharing. Fortunately for you, the medical field is as large as you can imagine. It doesn't require being a doctor to bring fulfillment. I won't speak into your situation as I can only ever speak for myself, but in my own experience, any form of "burnout" is self-inflicted, and although crappy bosses/coworkers can absolutely ruin a "good" and fruitful job, burnout revolves around your own attitudes towards things. With that being said, don't be discouraged; burnout is normal, and every human on this earth who has ever worked a job has likely experienced it (multiple times). Its normal to lose passions, gain new passions, and feel disassociated from things you wish you were still passionate about as they just become routine and like "work."

Don't mistake being 27 years old and an adult for "you should have your entire life figured out." Sure, plans are great, but how many people kept to their childhood dreams of becoming a firefighter, police officer, or astronaut? Life throws you curveballs every day; things change. I'm no psychologist or psychiatrist, but I think people who get their ultimate fulfillment from their careers are dancing along a dangerous line. Its often why nurses never get the professional help they need (when struggling with addiction/depression/etc). Losing their job costs more to them than losing themselves completely; its pretty sad actually. Your value as a human doesn't rest on your ability to become a doctor. Your value as a husband, son, parent, sibling, etc doesn't rely on your career.

While being rejected doesn't mean you can never fulfill this dream, it may be an indicator that there are more important things to focus on right now. It may make sense in the years to come. This rejection could prove to be a time you're free to spend time with your parents if they're still around. You may miss the next round of election season 'Rona in the middle of medical school (you don't want to be a quarantine student). You never truly know what the future holds. If its your dream truly, don't give up on it. If you're questioning it, no worries! The medical field is huge. If sciences are your thing, don't count out diving into the realm of research. Entry level positions are plenty and there's so many specialty areas of interest out there - the world is your garden brother; just dig it

 

I work in medical device industry. It sounds like you could have the resume to flip over to the industry side of the medical field. From there there are lots of opportunities for different directions. I went from working as a teacher, and then in clinical research for a year to medical device education and I couldn't be happier. I was miserable working in the hospital.

 

Agreed, hospital work is for the birds. Finding an outpatient clinic does wonders for those in any kind of position, from clerical to physician.

 

Have you considered guarding the coast?

 

Have you looked at the military programs for physician assistant, nursing or other professional medical fields?

 

I'm with you. Only been in the workforce for 16-ish years, and I'm super happy to be CONTENT where I'm at. I don't love my job, and that's fine. I earn a living, and that's what matters. I know many people who complain constantly at every place they work. Jumping from place to place hoping to find joy and unending happiness and the ability to make real change. It's usually their own issues, not the job. I wish I could tell these acquaintances to suck it up, punch the clock, and enjoy that you have a roof over your head and a growing retirement account.

Now, if you hate every moment of your job, or feel unsafe there, GET OUT! My wife was scared at one previous employer (legitimately), hated the idea of quitting without another job lined up, but we made due and she got out and shifted career focus. It was the best thing she could have done. She's now found a new path and is happier than ever, even being nowhere near her original career path. It was a set back, but worth it.

I hope the best for the OP, but they need to keep an open mind and maybe lower expectations.

 

I’ve followed my dreams and it left me broke. Worked for 10 years as a professional sailor and another as a professional archaeologist.

In the end, if you do what you love as a job, it inevitably becomes a job…and the things you loved become routine. And once you get promoted, the reasons you began down that path are no longer in your job description.

You’re in medical? Find a job you don’t hate that pays well. Not finding a job in your area? Look somewhere you wouldn’t mind living. Not sure if that helps because i skimmed the second half….
May need to go back to school to get the higher paying jobs. Keep focused, don’t get discouraged. Follow the money but don’t sell your soul

 

Wow okay I wasn’t even sure if this would get a reply. I’m very thankful to all of you for your responses.

heard. This is really cutting to the chase. Tolerance and compromise are huge I’m realizing. We can’t have everything and the grass isn’t always greener!

This is amazing perspective, I will be referring back to this I bet. I think I lose sight of this, when I get to focused on more selfish things. I am at a crossroads where I need to atleast decide what is next. And maybe the door for medical school isn’t slammed shut, I can elaborate more on this because.. well what I want or need and how that interfaces with healthcare is complicated.

Im working as a clinical research coordinator now. CRA is not all that appealing to me, but it seems like the only next step, which I know is simply untrue. Im curious about your journey and what insights it could give to me. I don’t think I *need* to leave healthcare, although I’ve definitely been feeling like a misfit.

for me so far, privately owned practices have been awful. But medical assisting is difficult work no matter the setting. I’ve just been 0/3 but I’m sure there’s great places out there.

sorry I’m replying to you and the coast guard question here. I haven’t seriously considered coast guard but I think it would be really interesting. I think I’ll do some homework and maybe reach out.

I stayed away from mixing medical education and military given that the service required would take me away from children I plan to have. It’s something I would consider again, if I knew I was ready to go back to school. I’m hoping to get some more insight on the answer to that question in this thread !

great stuff yall

 

Happy to help. Let me know if you want to talk. I'm not in medical but I've got 21 years in so far and I love my job.

 

Loving the down to earth advice. Wayyy better than the numerous voices in my head

Let me just talk about my late friend. That was fucked up. That experience, losing someone so close to me, for something technically avoidable. Something, for no reason, I put the fault on myself. Only because, I put all my marbles in the medicine basket to help someone just like him.. only to be too busy with my own pursuit to be there for him.. ehh it’s complicated, we weren’t even living in the same state and well, addiction is a bad bad disease.
Idk, I want that to be my ‘Why’.. if this was a kids story it would be.
But really it took a lot of the wind out of my sails. It made me question just who I was. I have other family members who struggle with addiction, still can’t help them. I have a sister who is terrified of doctors given her history..
I think I’ve become terrified of what our society and healthcare has propped up to doctors to be. We’re functioning on and antiquated broken system. I wager everyone who reads this knows personally what I am talking about. The healthcare system is merely a service or trade. But there is all this parading around, politics and wasted resources and missed connections that lead real problems to remain unsolved.
I started to think, the only real reason anyone goes to medical school is not truly to help people FIRST, it’s a convenient byproduct. It’s that pay check, that status, etc.. sorry to be radical but this is a stream of consciousness and I reserve my right to be dead wrong

I vowed to myself to see medical school through, so I could sit across from someone like my friend and connect them with what they needed. I think im having a hard time putting that away for some reason. I’ve deliberated medical school so much, it hardly means anything significant.

 

Now back to something tangible for those with short attention span on a strangers ramblings:

I am 27 as mentioned. I live with my gf and our pets. We are not tied to our current city and we are open to travel:

I’m considering:
A trade. Either welding, HVAC or electrician.. seems like a 1 step backwards 2 steps forward sort of thing from where I’m currently at. I am concerned with long term career opportunities and not using my current background/competing with high school grads..
I love to tinker, but maybe just as a hobby

A healthcare job in manufacturing or otherwise utilizing my experience (not currently considering nursing, PA or other clinician education). I think getting out of a clinic setting could be game changing. I’d like to contribute to something that I find interesting.

I’m looking into jobs based around biology (undergrad degree).. I applied for some park ranger positions/wetland management type stuff.

I could maybe see myself working for an engineering company in some capacity, or any company, but if I found a path that I was excited about that required more education I would strongly consider.


Maybe I’m thinking about this the wrong way.. I.e. missing the point.. how would you start to weigh out these decisions and prioritize to make the change you might need? I’m sort of lost in my own fog. I’d like to do something I enjoy, that I can invest myself into so I can have a family and do more truck mods of course.. what do you think?

 

Im a licensed nurse Ive worked in snf aka hell, hospitals and home health. I work at a hospital 7pm-7am, you gotta learn to not worry ik it sounds weird but the stress will kill you.

 

To be honest, at 27 the Medical School door may be closing quickly if it hasn't already. I could be wrong. Have you considered getting into an EMT situation? Puts you in a situation to help people, somewhat medical related and who knows, maybe open some doors.

I had a career that I really enjoyed. After 21 years, the company was sold, sales people sat on their asses waiting to see where things shook out for them and one day, the new corporate people came in and started cutting. At 52, I was out on my ass in an economy that sucked, wife had just started a rather large business that had potential, but needed a lot of help to get to the tipping point. In the meantime, I kept looking for work and after 6 months, companies quit replying to my applications because I had been 'out of the business too long'.

Wound up starting over in a new field. Wasn't what I had ever envisioned for myself, but hey, it wasn't too bad either. First couple of years were tough, but with a couple of fortunate breaks as the economy came back, I recovered enough that I could retire in Feb.

Things happen, sometimes you just have to take a left turn and see where it goes. An open mind and a positive attitude can help a lot.

 

What is wrong with being either a PA or an NP???? My daughter is a PA (BS in Biology and Masters from Pitt - 2 years) and works in the breast cancer service @ Magee Women's Hospital in Pittsburgh. 5th year working with cancer since getting her masters. Works 4, 10 hour days and typically no weekends. She does basically anything a doctor does and can write prescriptions, too. All without the 4 years of med school and the residency, and the high malpractice insurance.

 

Sorry to hear about your friend. That is messed up.

Have you looked at other areas in medicine? I always thought therapists had the best well-rounded life out of all the people in medicine (they’re all fit and healthy where I work) and the pharmacists had the most chill job with anyone called doctor in the hospital. I see that nurses are always in high demand, and if we learned anything over the last 4.5yrs is that you can’t run a hospital without them. So very good job security.

PA, NP, CRNA or any other form of APP (advance practice provider) may be another option. CRNAs in particular do quite well financially these days. These professions are only going to become more popular as the need for medical providers are not met by medical schools alone.

There is a wide variety of specialties in medicine attracting many types of personalities. Whether MD/DO or APP you’ll find good and bad fits for you. Maybe before you shut the door on medicine shadow some people around?

I too once found myself in my mid 20s, coming from working class parents, with no family wealth to help me and struggling to find a career path. Shadowing different medical specialties and other career paths really solidified my decision. I tried friends, coworkers, neighbors and relatives to help me connect with said professionals. Good luck OP.

 

32yo Finance/Accounting bro here, I totally get loving the idea of the job, but not liking what you see once you get there. Agree with the advice above about finding a job you tolerate, but pays the bills, then go "secure the bag". Took about a decade of jobs that gave me acid reflux and a borderline drinking problem to get to, but I have risen past the scut work and to a point where I actually have started to enjoy my job, being more the strategic/managment level. TBH, I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do when I grow up...

I work in aerospace again now, but got to work in life sciences manufacturing at a time when our products when to covid research and vaccine development crapstorm and our products are also used in a ton of medical research for a ton of stuff from safer drug delivery to some pretty wild genetic condition treatments. Point being, maybe go find a medical device or similar company (again suggested above) and pursue a career in that. Maybe look into a quality assurance job and get ISO13485 certified. A lot of ways to serve the purpose you desire but far from the same way you had in mind.

 

i worked in the banking industry for a handful of years, hated the repetitive day to day. my father has been a GC his entire life, started working with him and his circle of friends / coworkers, taking on jobs, properly learning the trades, and i now work for myself. I now own my own business, have a partner and have never been happier, love the challenges, working with my hands and the physicality of it all believe it or not. I love how each job is a new opportunity, new experiences, and i get to go to crazy cool locations, see different homes, and all the takeaways you learn from that, which i now use on fixing up my own home. While the banking job was more consistent $, and a reliable 401k, insurance etc, I still wouldn't take that back. I just turned 30 this july btw.

 

Biomedical Engineering???