Whatever

Group buy?

 

Nah, I paid too much for it but I've been wanting a case so I just said f$ck it.

 

I was stopped at a DUI checkpoint and gave the officer my license. He said “Grew a beard, huh?”
I said “No, I shaved the picture”

 

Good morning whateverers

 

I was in Starbucks and saw a guy with no cellphone, no tablet, no laptop, no headphones…nothing. He was just sitting there drinking coffee…like a psychopath

 

Weird

 

I like rice when I want 2,000 of something.

 

Me and my buddy went out to the woods to do drugs. So we could avoid authority figures. Instead we met a bear. Which is even more of a buzzkill. Smokey is way more intense in person
- Mitch

 

They spelled Ruger wrong

 

I was more of a Steven fan myself.

"I really got into astronomy so I installed a skylight. The neighbors above me are furious."

"There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."

 

I love blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling, I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.

Mitch

 

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met

 

You are actually improving ... look out Dave , he's snekily werk'n ta tak ur job!

 

https://www.instagram.com/p/C_rGQTeSH_K/?igsh=bzZ6dGYxeGJ5enVn

 

are you stalkin' me?

 

I'm not sure but I believe it was the ferry that took us over to canal st. We left the car on our side of the river. But remember that was in 1973, I was 16 and very stoned at the time. They were selling Boons Farm Wine by the bottle out of the back of Trucks. No questions asked on I.D. I'm glad that I was able to see Madri Gra in New Orleans up close and personal once. I was never interested in going back again.

 

He’s welcome to it. He doesn’t realize the pressure I’m under to plagiarize fresh material to keep all y’all misfits entertained. I need a raise, a company car and a secretary or I might have to team up with Jerry Seinfeld and take it on the road

 

Skol!

 

Copenhagen