MQQSE and Stitch's Shack + Sumbitch

MQQSE · Nov 21, 2024

johneman said: ↑

I don't know if I posted this funny here or not (my CRS) but it's good for a laugh and I can picture someone doing it.

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary, and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse effect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety. WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of our refrigerator.! Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two, triple-A batteries, right?! There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong??? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would reportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries? All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'?? What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best... I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dummy,' reasoning that a one- second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button and... HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, MY TOES JUST EXPLODED!!! I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, and then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position and tingling in my legs! The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, 'Do it again, stupid, do it again!' Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three-second burst would be considered conservative. A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get up there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it! If you think Education is difficult, try being stupid!

I still laugh when I read it. Thats all folks....
Click to expand...

I've read it before, probably when you posted it, but my own CRS factors; it replays well regardless.

Makes me glad I gave Kristi a S&W 38 instead. She's a lot less likely to go lethal on me ... a "harmless" taser she might use on me for fun on a slow day.

MQQSE · Nov 21, 2024

jwctaco said: ↑

1/2”- 2”, depending on the snow band
Click to expand...

So, like here, not enough.

MQQSE · Nov 21, 2024

Good Morning Brother

FastEddy59 · Nov 21, 2024

MQQSE[OP] said: ↑

So, like here, not enough.
Click to expand...

Mornin’ Folks

About 9” outside town but with temps falling should get some city accumulation today.

kwanjangnihm · Nov 21, 2024

johneman said: ↑

I don't know if I posted this funny here or not (my CRS) but it's good for a laugh and I can picture someone doing it.

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary, and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse effect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety. WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of our refrigerator.! Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two, triple-A batteries, right?! There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong??? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would reportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries? All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'?? What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best... I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dummy,' reasoning that a one- second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button and... HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, MY TOES JUST EXPLODED!!! I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, and then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position and tingling in my legs! The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, 'Do it again, stupid, do it again!' Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three-second burst would be considered conservative. A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get up there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it! If you think Education is difficult, try being stupid!

I still laugh when I read it. Thats all folks....
Click to expand...

NMroamer · Nov 21, 2024

MQQSE[OP] said: ↑

I've read it before, probably when you posted it, but my own CRS factors; it replays well regardless.

Makes me glad I gave Kristi a S&W 38 instead. She's a lot less likely to go lethal on me ... a "harmless" taser she might use on me for fun on a slow day.
Click to expand...

Been away for awhile cause this thread got boring.
You made me snort my coffee this morning.

MQQSE · Nov 21, 2024

NMroamer said: ↑

Been away for awhile cause this thread got boring.
You made me snort my coffee this morning.
Click to expand...

Welcome back
I took a pretty long TW hiatus ... it happens.
Stop by anytime.

NMroamer · Nov 21, 2024

MQQSE[OP] said: ↑

Welcome back
I took a pretty long TW hiatus ... it happens.
Stop by anytime.
Click to expand...

Thought the taser thread was yours.

MQQSE · Nov 21, 2024

NMroamer said: ↑

Thought the taser thread was yours.
Click to expand...

Nope, Ken just sharing with us.

vssman · Nov 21, 2024

Good morning all

johneman said: ↑

I don't know if I posted this funny here or not (my CRS) but it's good for a laugh and I can picture someone doing it.

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary, and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse effect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety. WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of our refrigerator.! Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two, triple-A batteries, right?! There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong??? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would reportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries? All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'?? What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best... I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dummy,' reasoning that a one- second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button and... HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, MY TOES JUST EXPLODED!!! I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, and then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position and tingling in my legs! The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, 'Do it again, stupid, do it again!' Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three-second burst would be considered conservative. A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get up there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it! If you think Education is difficult, try being stupid!

I still laugh when I read it. Thats all folks....
Click to expand...

MQQSE · Nov 21, 2024

Good Morning RocketMan

SACTOWN · Nov 21, 2024

Yo

MQQSE · Nov 21, 2024

SACTOWN said: ↑

Yo
Click to expand...

Hey
https://youtu.be/yuFI5KSPAt4?si=7YrjWS5EJRNEhe2s

Squirt · Nov 21, 2024

MTgirl · Nov 21, 2024

MQQSE[OP] said: ↑

a "harmless" taser she might use on me for fun on a slow day.
Click to expand...

ImpulseRed008 · Nov 21, 2024

johneman said: ↑

I don't know if I posted this funny here or not (my CRS) but it's good for a laugh and I can picture someone doing it.

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary, and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse effect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety. WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of our refrigerator.! Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two, triple-A batteries, right?! There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong??? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would reportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries? All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'?? What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best... I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dummy,' reasoning that a one- second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button and... HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, MY TOES JUST EXPLODED!!! I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, and then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position and tingling in my legs! The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, 'Do it again, stupid, do it again!' Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three-second burst would be considered conservative. A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get up there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it! If you think Education is difficult, try being stupid!

I still laugh when I read it. Thats all folks....
Click to expand...

Note to self NEVER try out a taser on myself!!!

NMroamer said: ↑

Been away for awhile cause this thread got boring.
You made me snort my coffee this morning.
Click to expand...

welcome back Fred. Good to see you.

shack family

kwanjangnihm · Nov 22, 2024

TGIF cousin Rob and TW peepers!!
@AllTacosFloat nooner or sooner today brotha!!

Open one today if needed!!

AllTacosFloat · Nov 22, 2024

kwanjangnihm said: ↑

TGIF cousin Rob and TW peepers!!
@AllTacosFloat nooner or sooner today brotha!!

Open one today if needed!!

Click to expand...

You better believe it brotha! Have a great day brotha Jeff and shack fam!

Good morning Rob, hope you’re enjoying the weekend

jwctaco · Nov 22, 2024

It’s Friday shackites, y’all have a good one

kwanjangnihm · Nov 22, 2024

jwctaco said: ↑

It’s Friday shackites, y’all have a good one
Click to expand...

morning Jim! have a good one!!

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