PennSilverTaco's "Perfect 5-Lug Regular Cab" Build, Aspergers, and General BS MegaThread!

So sorry man. Good to talk about it, though, and work through things. The images may fade, or at least come less frequently over time, and hopefully become easier to deal with. You can't rush the process, it is what it is. Try to be there for Amanda.

 

The last communication I had with Emily was via text on Monday, April 28th just before 1pm. Amanda texted with her at approximately 4PM and 8:30PM on Thursday, May 1st; Emily’s ex-boyfriend Dennis received a text message from her at 9:42pm Friday, May 2nd. We believe that Emily passed away sometime after 10pm on Friday…

I am feeling guilty about how I responded to Emily on Monday. She complained about and generally exaggerated medical issues so often that many people thought she was crying wolf. She had been sick for most of the last three months or so prior to her death with various respiratory issues, but I don’t think bronchitis is directly responsible for her death. Amanda and I think she mixed two medications that should not have been mixed, they reacted, and it caused her to die in her sleep. I did not notice the vomit, but Amanda did and one of the first responders acknowledged this, which would indicate that she aspirated.

 

Amanda suddenly realized said a little after 8pm on Saturday night that she hadn’t heard from Emily in two days and attempted to contact her. She then bugged me to call her; I texted Emily at 8:11PM and called her at 8:13PM, getting no response. At that point, I said “fuck it, get in the truck”. I called Emily from the truck at 8:32pm and left a message on her voicemail, and we got there before 8:40pm.

I was able to see Emily on the couch through the open blinds, in spite of all the lights being out, because my truck’s lights were shining through the window and the porch light was also on. I attempted to wake up Emily by banging on the window and screaming her name; Amanda was also screaming Emily’s name thought she saw Emily’s chest rise a couple times, which prompted both of us to think she was alive but unconscious and in some sort of distress.

I called 911 at 8:40PM, and that call lasted six minutes, which means that the police and ambulance arrived at 8:46. I called my dad at 8:49PM to tell him that we found Emily unconscious on the couch, that the medics were working on her, and that it didn’t look good. That call lasted two minutes, which means the cop came out around 8:51PM to deliver the bad news. I got off the phone with my dad and went back to my truck to call our friend Helen at this point.

 

[Disclaimer: I'm not a licensed therapist]

Feeling guilty is a normal part of getting through something like this. What might have happened if things were different is something we are wired to explore, and part of what makes us human. One of the better parts, even. But, you did nothing wrong, and many things right.

 

I truly think it was a higher power that prompted us to hop in the truck and drive to Emily's condo in a severe thunderstorm. Emily's dad is presently in Florida taking care of his sister who had a knee replacement surgery or something, and it was not uncommon for him and Emily to go days without talking, so he likely would have gone to Florida without a second thought. We have come to find out that at least two of Emily's friends were wondering why she wasn't responding to calls and texts, including one who messaged Amanda today to ask if she'd heard from Emily.

We believe it's entirely possible that Emily wouldn't have been found for three days or more if we hadn't decided to drive there on Saturday night. The blinds were partially open, and it was incredibly easy to open the gate and walk up to the window, but I don't think anybody would have thought to actually take a look. Absolutely nothing looked amiss, and upon first glance anybody who looked through that window would just assume that Emily had fallen asleep on the couch. A day or two later, even with the A/C on, and the scene would have likely been a lot different.

 

Sorry for this experience. I hope writing about it is helpful. I found similar relief from writing during past challenges.

Life is a gift.

 

Tried to take a pic of Hannah just now, but she wanted me to pet her and immediately got up…

 

SIT!!!

 

Charlie, I just came upon this thread.

You and Amanda are such a good compassionate friends, that Emily will live on your memories together.

Looks like you all three shared many interests over the years and hopefully many more between Amanda and yourself.

I don't grieve well myself when I lose a close one, however from the bottom of my heart I can offer you a virtual tight handshake and a hug of support as you move through this time.

Hannah is also very lucky to have you available to take her in. She may not know or show it yet, but she will miss Emily.

-Craig

 

Hi Charlie, long time no talk but I wanted to chime in here because your story was very real and touching to me on a personal level.
What you did the other day took a lot of courage, which made me remember an old FDR quote that I would like to share with you below.

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear." -FDR

 

I don’t think she knows what she witnessed, but without a doubt she witnessed Emily die. She was also next to Emily’s body when we came to the window. Again, she likely did not realize that her owner was passing away, but she no doubt witnessed it. The most heartbreaking moment for me was when they wheeled Emily’s body out of the condo on a gurney. She was in a body bag and obviously not visible, but Hannah knew Emily was in there. She promptly started whining and attempting to follow the van driver. I was sitting on the tailgate of my truck and holding Hannah’s leash when they brought her body out, and I was talking to my mom on the phone; I had managed to hold back tears all night for the sake of being strong for Amanda, but I started crying and said something like “Oh my God, mom, they’re bringing Emily’s body out now and Hannah knows it’s her!”

 

We knew in our hearts something was wrong. Amanda has this sixth sense, and later admitted to me that she had a feeling Emily was dead before we got there. We knew full well what we might find, and our reasoning was that we didn’t want a repeat of Amanda’s birth mother, who decomposed in her apartment for about five days (in winter with the heat on) before a friend called the police to do a welfare check. Amanda’s mother lived in Coatesville, which is about an hour away from where we live; Emily lived about 15 minutes from my house. Amanda had last heard from Emily on Thursday night (we found her on Saturday night and believe that she passed either late Friday night or early Saturday morning). It was really warm last weekend, so we also knew that Emily would have had the A/C on in the condo. If the worst had in fact happened, we knew that two days was way different than five days, and that the A/C would have helped preserve the body.

I truly believe that a higher power beckoned us to Emily’s house that night, as Emily’s dad was about to fly down to Florida to care for his sister who had a knee replacement surgery. It is very possible that Emily would not have been found for three to five days, or more.

For a brief second after seeing her through the window (the blinds were up ever so slightly and my Taco’s headlights were shining through the window), I thought “Okay good, she’s asleep and she’s gonna be really angry that we woke her up, but she’s alive.” That hope quickly faded when I started pounding on the glass and screaming her name. Amanda said she saw her chest go up and down twice, which gave us the false assumption that she was in distress but still alive, and that we’d saved her life.

Emily’s ex-boyfriend got a text from her at 9:42PM on Friday night, and the cop told us she’d probably been gone for at least a day. This is chronologically impossible because Dennis heard from her via text at 9:42PM on Friday night and we found her just before 8:40PM on Saturday night. Based on this timeline, we believe that she passed sometime before midnight, but it’s possible she could have left this earth 12 to 14 hours before we found her. The paramedic told Amanda she was in full rigor, but like I said, she looked like she was merely passed out on the couch until the cop turned the lights on.

 

Dennis went back through his text messages and found that the last message he received from Emily was at 9:59PM on Friday, when she simply said "Oh" in response to him telling her that he at a concert; Emily said in the 9:42PM text that she could not get around (like room to room in her condo) without being out of breath. On another note, she hated sleeping with the lights on and it's possible she decided to sleep on the couch, possibly because she might have been too weak to make it to her bed. Remember, our initial belief was she'd passed in the daylight hours due to the lights being off. The fact that the TV was off and her eyes were closed are also clues that she died in her sleep.

 

https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/name/emily-walsh-obituary?id=58350027

 

There are going to be two services for Emily. The one mentioned in the obituary above was planned by Emily’s mom, and will be for family and close friends only; I have no idea when it will be. The service that Amanda and I have been invited to will be on Monday, May 19th at 10am. Emily’s father, his girlfriend, their respective friends, and Emily’s friends will be at this service.

Emily’s dad informed Amanda this morning that Emily will be cremated, which we both think is better because now Amanda won’t have to worry about seeing her body again.

 

One week ago, Amanda and I were chilling in my bedroom and watching reruns of The Masked Singer…

 

At roughly this time, Amanda suddenly realized that she hadn’t heard from Emily in two days and became worried, which prompted her to make attempts at calling her and texting her…

 

At 8:11pm, Amanda bugged me to make an attempt, and I texted “Everything okay?”