PennSilverTaco's "Perfect 5-Lug Regular Cab" Build, Aspergers, and General BS MegaThread!

Remember though…

The Navy invented sex, but the Marines introduced it to women!

 

So it's like the Clones in Star Wars?

 

@ABA180
@ColoradoTJ
@shakerhood
@steelcity2
@TnShooter
@uurx

Does anybody else think that dogs can process the death of their owner, or remember it for that matter? A recent experience that my neighbor had with Hannah would tell me yes...

Sometimes my neighbors take care of Hannah, mostly because the wife and kids fell in love with her and wanted to adopt her. The husband, Bernie, didn't want another dog, so this was the compromise.

Anyway, a couple weeks ago, Bernie fell asleep on the reclining sofa in the family room. He asleep more or less sitting up with the seatback reclined. He awoke to Hannah licking his fingers and whimpering, and noted when telling us the story that there was no food on his hand or fingers.

Emily passed away, likely in her sleep, on the couch. Hannah was not lying on the couch with Emily, but while I can't remember if she was standing or lying down, she was definitely next to the body when we first looked through the window. Without a doubt, she saw Emily die, and knew something was wrong. She likely licked Emily's fingers as she was dying, and probably licked them after she was gone, and seeing a human motionless on a couch likely brought back memories.

I don't think that pets like dogs and cats experience trauma in the same way that humans do, at least if they witness a nonviolent death. On another note, even in death and zipped up inside a body bag, Emily still smelled like Emily to Hannah. Some of you may remember that Emily's body was wheeled out to the coroner's van while I was sitting on the tailgate of my truck and holding Hannah's leash. Hannah looked at the body bag, began to whimper, and attempted to go over the gurney.

Hannah seems to be adjusting to her new life quite well, though I'm sure she still misses Emily. If Emily had simply been out of the country for 45 days (That's how long it's been since we found her; I counted) and were to walk through my front door right now, I'm sure that Hannah would be a very excited dog and would have to be restrained from jumping on Emily.

Hannah is rarely left alone, at least without the companionship of other dogs. At Amanda's house she is with two other dogs, at my house she has Porter, and at Ashley and Bernie's house she has their dog. At night when she's at Amanda's house, she sleeps in Amanda's bedroom. The only time she's really been "alone" recently is this week when Amanda goes to work and I'm asleep; Porter sleeps in a crate in my bedroom, but Hannah doesn't stay in my room because she likes to sleep on the bed. I've fallen asleep with Porter on my bed before, but Hannah seems to be much more restless than Porter, so I shut my door and keep her out so she doesn't wake me up. She will either sleep on the living room couch or in the guest bedroom where Amanda normally sleeps...

NOTE: My bed is a full, and Amanda snores like a diesel truck with no exhaust, so we sleep in separate rooms. When we are staying at a hotel, we do not sleep in the same bed unless it's at least a queen. Honestly, Amanda and are rarely in the same bed unless we're engaging in romantic activities...

When Amanda is sleeping at my house and Hannah is with her, she lets her sleep in the guestroom with her.

Hannah does not seem to know how to bark, only cry and whimper. She barked once when Porter pissed her off, though it was more of a growl than a bark, and that's the only noise other than a burp or a fart that I've heard coming from her since we took her in; Amanda lived Emily and Hannah for many years, and Amanda has never heard Hannah actually bark. If Hannah is depressed or otherwise upset, she isn't showing it; I think she might get lonely at night when I lock her out of my room, but other than that she seems fine!

 

They definitely sense that something significant has changed. My various pups over the years have almost always been aware of times where I'm sick or sad, and just quietly come to offer their support. We recently lost my little Pekinese far too soon, at 3 1/2. Tough for me, since I was very definitely his hooman). My wife's peke knew that something was wrong the night we lost him, and she has been much more affectionate towards me, since he passed.
Our pups are far wiser and more intelligent than most people give them credit for, which is why I love to have them around, and why those that abuse them can burn in the depths of hell, as far as I'm concerned.

 

I think dogs can sense that something is "different".
As for "processing death?" No. I don't think so.
I don't think they process that death means "never coming back"

In my experience, dogs either don't wasn't you to leave, want you to come back when you leave, or don't care either way.
I'd say, most dogs would rather you "not leave", than to go away (or die).

I guess, what I'm saying is, as for processing death. I think the dog would need to understand what death is.....
And I'm not sure they know what death in itself is.....

My mom's dogs acts she's never coming back anytime my mother leaves her.
And when she come's back, it's like she "died and came back"......

 

Dogs (and likely other animals) certainly know when are dying. When my dad was stationed at NAS Whidbey Island, there was this girl named Sam in a few of my classes who also came from a Navy family; I had a crush on her. The family had a Golden Retriever named Skipper, who was roughly the same age as our Labrador, Molly…

Molly was born in December 1994, and Skipper may have actually been younger than that. This was 2001-2002, so they were about seven. I don’t remember if the cancer diagnosis came before or after this incident, but Skipper got cancer really young. Sam told me that Skipper actually wedged himself under the back deck, didn’t eat, and waited for death to come. Luckily, they found him and ultimately had the vet put him to sleep instead of him starving to death.

Animals don’t know what death is from a human standpoint, but they certainly know when they are dying. I had two dogs before Porter, and both lost their normally voracious appetites in the last days of their lives; Mandy, the second dog who only lived to be year because she had kidney failure as a result of a congenital disorder, spent probably most of the last month of her life sleeping. Neither of my previous two dogs ran off to die and/or starved themselves, but they mostly lost their desire to eat.

With Mandy, the vet told us that if it was safe for dogs to eat and she would eat it, then let her eat it; Mandy’s favorite food in the last month or so of her life was Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal!

 

Dogs can smell things that we can’t smell. This likely includes a dead body before the smell of death becomes noticeable to a human. We found Emily before decomposition really set in, but even indoors with the A/C on, a body starts to decompose pretty much immediately. Emily let Amanda sleep in bed with her (and sometimes Amanda does as well), but I highly doubt that Hannah believed Emily was merely sleeping.

 

The last dog that Dad and Mom had on the ranch was a border collie that they drove several hours to pick up at an animal shelter. Her shelter name was "Foxy" but Mom thought that was inappropriate so they renamed her "Lady." Lady was a great ranch dog as she learned quickly not to bother cows, cats, elk and other creatures, yet if Dad happened to leave the pasture gate open, when they noticed Lady was missing, she'd be found standing in front of the open gate, holding back the cattle. I heeded their message, "We're not here to entertain visitors, we're working (the cattle business, repairing equipment, and all the seasonal tasks involved)." Lady knew me as a "border collie masseuse" and would greet me to do several runs of "crazy dog" together, but after a weekend working with Dad on the projects he needed help with, as I'd go out to the Malibu red truck to drive home they'd see me off, but Lady could not look. After a number of labs (outdoor dogs), Lady was their first indoor dog, and outlived them both, though she'd bark louder ("well, she's deaf and can't hear herself.") and was also going blind, but still had her routine to go out in the morning and stand watch in the backyard, and around the house. Herding dogs...
Eleven years ago, I drove to northern Wisconsin to see the town where Dad was born and raised, staying at the Super 8 in Phillips during the Fourth of July. While waiting for the Price County parade to start I was looking at the visitor information I'd picked up nearby while standing next to a picnic table in the roadside park when I felt pressure against my leg. I reached down to give a black lab welcome rubs behind her ears, and the young lady holding the leash told me that "she's very protective of the family." I then overheard her mom several tables away telling a neighbor that their dog is "part Staffordshire terrier." Just a sweet dog that knows a livestock person... I met a rancher from the Silver Valley, when he arrived at the commercial vinyl wrap business as my friend was having decals made. His young border collie (handsome lad) was riding in the back seat of his ranch truck, and promptly laid down as I looked at him, so he got a massage before I left. Animals know so much that we can't comprehend.
Be well, love well...

 

And on another note, Hannah 100% knew that help had arrived. She recognized mine and Amanda’s voices and immediately came to the window. Our voices went from a casual “Hey, Emily” with gentle knocking on the window to screaming bloody murder and practically breaking the window, but she knew we were trying to help. The first cop on the scene was impressed with how friendly and well-behaved she was!

 

@ABA180
@Charlie Bravo
@ColoradoTJ
@shakerhood
@steelcity2
@TnShooter

So, I would say that for me it probably took between 12 and 24 hours for the initial shock of finding a dead body to wear off; Amanda and I both made the mistake of going into work after such a traumatic experience.

Amanda works from 9PM Sunday to 9AM Sunday, about five or six of those hours are spent sleeping. She barely slept and could barely do her job. I work from 7AM to 6PM on Mondays, I would say that shock finally wore off and the reality of the situation set in while I was driving to work, not even 36 hours after we found Emily. I promptly had a breakdown in front of my supervisor, started sobbing uncontrollably and was sent home. I normally work 9AM-6PM on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, but I returned to work at 10AM on Tuesday even though I was that I could take as long as I needed (albeit unpaid).

Amanda’s employer is very generous with paid medical leave, so she was able to get entire week off and still get paid!

It has been about 45 days since we found Emily, and both of us are much better; Amanda has PTSD from stuff that happened in her childhood and is still struggling with what happened, but she has still gotten better.

I had a much better upbringing than Amanda and certainly no childhood trauma, so I’m doing much better in coping with this than she is. I was told by my therapist that things would get better after two weeks or so and the memories would fade. He was right for the most part, but I do believe that I have mild PTSD from this whole experience.

The moment I keeping having flashbacks to is when they broke down the door and turned on the lights, and the illusion of Emily being alive was shattered. In second place is running up to the condo, seeing her through the window, screaming her name, and getting no response. I can still hear myself screaming “EMILY!” at the top of my lungs and pounding on the glass in the hopes that she would wake up and everything would be okay.

 

We went to the cemetery to visit Amanda’s birth mother; Amanda has been there a few times since her cremains were interred back in March, but this was my first time…

 

By pure coincidence, Emily’s maternal grandparents are interred just across the road from Barb’s section, so we paid them a visit as well…

 

Emily’s grandmother passed away less than 5 months before her granddaughter, and not only that, but she passed on her 94th birthday!

 

So, my parents were supposed to stay in California until Saturday, but then the whole thing with my knee happened and they cut it back to today. They would have taken a red eye from San Fran to Philly, leaving at like 10pm Pacific time, and landed at 7am Eastern time.

For reasons still unknown to them, the flight was cancelled. It is looking like they will have to take the originally scheduled red eye, which will get them back to Philly early on Saturday morning. My follow-up appointment with the orthopedist is at 2pm tomorrow, and I will just bring Amanda with me for that.

 

No big deal.
I can't any reason your parents need to go with you.
I'm quite sure the orthopedist will know who to bill.
If he didn't, you'd never gotten the surgery.

It'll be just fine.

 

Whenever I've been asked for insurance cards (including Medicare, DVA, whatever), all I need to say is "there's no change since my last visit," and providers will find it. They agree that the information is available in medical database, and that those are the most frequent targets for data breaches. I was amazed to read the intricate detail in the report of the hernia repair online, and of the discount for having one repaired after at least seven years. What? (My daughter explained that I needed to set up that online account, since the hospital invoices online through such accounts and some people have first received notice when a collection agency calls because invoices were not sent by snail mail, which is the most confidential messaging service to this day.)

 

They wanted to go and listen to the doctor, especially since my parents paid for the surgery. Even with insurance, my dad had to pay almost $600 upfront! As I’ve told you before, my dad has his insurance through the US Navy, and I am allowed to remain on it indefinitely since autism is considered a disability. My parents are awesome and have no problem helping me out with legit medical expenses.