PennSilverTaco's "Perfect 5-Lug Regular Cab" Build, Aspergers, and General BS MegaThread!

I'm 52. Have lost a lot of friends along the way. I'd bet out of my High School graduating class of 300 that half of us are left. Then there are college friends and coworkers that are gone too soon too. Some close, and some not so much.

The thing is, and you can't control this, but each loss takes something from you. And if you let it, each loss can give you something back that's different. You just have to make sure that what ever the the loss takes, the give back is something better. So if you learn from it, turn over a new leaf, live better, love deeper, or appreciate the frailty of life a little more then the loss isn't so bad.

 

Thank you very much for your input.

I’ve experienced plenty of loss in my life, both family and friends. The youngest person whose funeral I’ve been to was the 21-year son of an old teacher who died in a car accident, back in January 2024. That funeral was an open casket, and one of roughly a half dozen open caskets I’ve been to. Seeing a dead body that’s been prepared for a funeral is far from being an enjoyable experience for me, but it doesn’t bother me either.

I have been present for the euthanasia for two family dogs, both of whom died in my arms. I cried, but I knew they were not well and that it was time to end their suffering.

I have yet to witness a sick friend or relative die in their bed, but I imagine that won’t bother me too much because it would be expected.

I don’t know if you’ve followed this story from when it first happened, but the big factor here is that we actually found the body. Though we both knew in the bottom of our hearts that we were going to find something that would result in a call to 911, neither of us expected to look through the window and actually see her. It’s really eerie watching the dashcam footage from the moment we get in my truck to when the police and EMS show up. The dashcam in my truck captured pretty much everything. I can be heard asking my girlfriend “Are you prepared for what we might find?” She responds with “No, unfortunately I am not.”

Looking back on that night, we both knew there was a very good chance that Emily was deceased. @uurx commented not long after it happened that it was a very brave and courageous thing we did.

But yeah, the big factor here is that we drove to Emily’s condo probably 12 to 14 hours after she’d passed away, and we found her body. I brought a sledgehammer with me just in case Emily was in obvious distress and I needed to get in, but I had a damn good view of her on the couch through the window; I thought she was unconscious until the first responders kicked in the door and turned on the lights.

I still have a vivid memory of the moment the lights came on, and shattered the illusion that Emily was still alive. I was on the phone with my dad, who actually tried to talk us out of going to check on Emily, while the medics were in the condo working on Emily; I told him that we found Emily unconscious on the couch and the medics were working on her, and then maybe a minute later, the cop came out and told us that she was gone. I immediately screamed “Oh my God!” and started to cry, then told my dad that Emily was dead. I also still have vivid memories of when the cop came out of the condo and gave us the bad news.

I am confident that the memories will fade, but I’m starting to get impatient…

 

I've lost friends, family and co-workers. I've witnessed a number of complete strangers go in terrible and tragic ways. Hang out on this planet long enough, and you start to get increasingly familiar with the natural way of things.

You're right. Every one of them do, for the lack of a better word, haunt you. Every one makes you look at things ever so slightly differently. The ones I know, I look at what made their lives great, enjoyable, and wise, and add a little bit of that to my own. The ones I didn't, I at least took their cautionary lessons with me.

It never gets easier, you just learn to be more efficient at processing it.

 

Have you found a dead body that you weren’t 100% expecting to find? Even though Amanda and I knew that something was very wrong, we didn’t want to believe that our friend was dead, and we certainly weren’t expecting to look through the front window and see her on the couch.

 

THIS! Thank you. That's what I was trying to get to but I think I missed the mark.

 

Yes. All strangers, but I've seen a number of them. I feel very fortunate that on the one incident where I stood up to render aid, I was immediately relieved by someone more qualified. But I was the closest person during their passing. (Fun fact, flight attendants really do ring the intercom with "is there a doctor on board?") I've been very unfortunate that I watched two other people go and they were in a place where I was unable to initiate first aid. I've also stumbled across a body when hiking. That's not fun. But it all made me very aware that some countries are a little more lassez faire about the value of life and safety.

It made me jumpy for a while. I started seeing false alarms everywhere. Shortly after one of those incidents I was diving in a lake and saw a large amount of bubbles in the distance. My heart hit my throat, I thought for sure that I just found a dead diver. I cleared my head and swam up to help. On approach I discovered I was about to start rescue on an anti-algae aerator that the property owner installed.

I eventually got over the trauma of it all. I'm not nearly as jumpy now. But I still carry some of the lessons.

 

I was just in your state over the July 4th weekend Charlie. Place is more humid than I remember

 

Why didn’t you tell me?!?! I was stuck at home most of the weekend and would have loved to hang out!!!

 

I was in Pittsburgh so I suspect it was out of your way by a bit.

 

So, @steelcity2’s neck of the woods…

 

Yeah, cool city, really liked it. Much more enjoyable than Philly was I think.

 

Nailed it folks, I know Charlie and I talked off here about health in general before. I cleaned up some of my habits after I turned 40..recently had to get more strict again after slacking for a while. I definitely noticed after dropping weight that I felt better all around, especially knees. No surgeries yet but some days it would take me 20-30 minutes to feel safe getting out of bed in the mornings.

Yup. I wish I could have talked to smacked some clarity into my friend Andy a few years ago with his habits but it was ultimately his decision, and I respect his choices even though selfishly I wish he chose different. But memories are forever and I got a lot of those with him.

I've long said you don't get over losing people per se, you get to getting on better and to bring them with you in your mind and heart.

 

Bro ....

 

Suh dude? I was hanging with all the furries that took over the convention center. Those folks know how to party.

 

Oh that's right , it is a big thing , big money for the city as well. It was a hot weekend for that. U like the city ?

 

Yeah, it's a really nice city. I always heard mixed things about East Coast hospitality but everyone I met was super friendly. I realize we basically take over downtown in the few blocks around the convention center but even so walking all around the strip district people were stopping to say hi and asking for pics. I always try to be courteous and understand that we're visiting but everyone just seemed all about it. Early mornings before the con got going I walked all around the place. Tried Pamelas Diner (primo), had a big ol pastrami sandwich at primanti... Visited some breweries, even checked out that neato museum. If everyone did even a quarter as much exploring and shopping as I did when I wasn't actively in the convention center then Pittsburgh made some bank that weekend. Was bummed that the Pirates went to my state to play a single interleague play game against the Mariners though, I thought you guys always had a 4th of July game at PNC Park and wanted to go while I was there.

 

Barb is on the top and Emily is on the bottom, and some of the stuff also belongs to Amanda’s late younger brother…

 

221K!!!

 

Amanda is CPR certified because she works with people who have special needs. If we'd ended up making entry to Emily's condo, no doubt my girlfriend would have attempted to perform CPR. She would have found out pretty quickly that Emily was beyond help because she was in full rigor, but my girlfriend is about the kindest person you'll ever meet and also quite stubborn, so no doubt she would have tried to render aid. We believe that Emily passed about 12 hours before we found her, but before the lights were turned on, we thought that she was either asleep or unconscious. There were no lights on aside from the eerie green glow from the Alexa speaker, and then there was the outside light and the lights from my truck.

I damn near broke the window pounding on it, and I pondered kicking the door in. I ultimately decided to call 911 before making an attempt to gain entry, and literally up until EMS kicked the door in, I thought Emily was still with us; I told the 911 dispatcher that I had a sledgehammer and was pondering forcing my way in, and she said I'd be well within my rights to do so, but that she had an officer two minutes away. The cop showed up exactly when she said he would, and the ambulance showed up maybe a minute later; I am glad that Amanda and I did force entry into Emily's condo. This, no doubt, would have caused even more trauma. Because of the way things went down, we only saw Emily's body through the window, and did not actually go into the condo until weeks later when we met Emily's dad to pick up the items of hers that he was giving us.

If we'd gone into the condo, no doubt we would have attempted to wake her up, which would have required touching her. It wouldn't have taken a rocket scientist to determine that she'd departed the planet hours earlier, just based on touch. Hell, Amanda knew she was gone just based on sight as soon as the lights came on, because she'd worked at a nursing home and walked in on deceased residents before.

Looking back on the whole thing, I knew she was dead, but I had never seen a dead body outside of a funeral (or Body Worlds) before and it didn't quite click that I was in fact looking at a dead body. However, Amanda and I did not want to believe she was dead until the professionals confirmed it. I saw them hooking up the 12-lead EKG before the blinds were closed, and I thought that this was a good thing, but these were veteran first responders and they most certainly knew that she was dead as soon as they turned on the lights. They just had to attach the EKG pads and call a doctor to officially call time of death, which is why it took a few minutes for the cop to come out and inform us that she was dead. I can still remember the cop coming out and saying something like "At this time, your friend is deceased. She's been gone for at least a day. I'm sorry." Amanda and I both promptly lost it. I can also still remember banging on the window and screaming "EMILY!!!" at the top of my lungs, so loud that I woke up the neighbor in the upstairs condo. Time just seemed to slow down, almost stop, at that point; Emily and I had our differences during the last two years of her life, but I was almost in tears as I was screaming at her to wake up. I'm just going to be honest; I thought she was a bitch a lot of the time during those last two years, but I genuinely did care about her, and I can't even describe how much I fucking miss that girl.

 

@ColoradoTJ
@Just_A_Guy
@shakerhood
@steelcity2
@TnShooter

Have any of you guys ever seen a documentary series called Dr. G: Medical Examiner? It aired from July 2004 to February 2012, and I watched it quite extensively when I was in high school; Amanda watched it as well, and we both love the show. Last month, while my parents were in California and I was pretty much stuck in the house following my knee surgery, Amanda and I binge-watched old episodes of Dr. G; I ordered her book on Amazon, and I've been reading it.

Emily's untimely death and the events leading up to it read like a Dr. G episode. Emily had what was called a deep vein thrombosis in her leg, which traveled to her lungs. This caused both heart and lung failure, and lead to her death. It is very unlikely, unless Emily had been in a hospital when this happened, that she could have been revived. Even in the hospital, my friend who's an RN says that it's probably a 50/50 shot, and just because somebody is "alive" doesn't mean they will be the same person they were before they essentially died. Dying is far better than spending the rest of one's life as a vegetable.

Seriously though, I feel like my girlfriend and I lived an episode of Dr. G! Blood clots are a very common cause of death in the cases shown on series, both in the lungs and the brain.