Whatever

@Gen1TacoLady - you ok if we remove Septic Sucker from jobs you shouldn’t do?

I cannot confirm or deny @Delta09 and his opinion

 

damn Dennis bin in the garden.......again

 

OKAY STORY TIME

So, it all started when I downed not one, not two, but three cans of White Monster energy drinks before hitting the trail. Somewhere between the second and third can, I was buzzing so hard I swear the trees around me started whispering arcane secrets—like the kind only the Old Norse gods would remember—secrets carved into ancient runes and carried on the wind.

I was hyped like a spider monkey hopped up on pure electric juice, ready to own the trail—or at least try to without totally losing my mind.

First, I rolled up to this mud pit that looked innocent but was basically off-road purgatory. The 4Runner’s tires spun in place like they were trying to moonwalk backwards, and the engine screamed a desperate Michael Jackson inspired “ heehee help me” at 5,000 RPM. Then, the hallucinations kicked in full force.

Out of nowhere, a literal dumpster on fire sprang to life on the side of the trail. Not just any dumpster fire—flames roaring, smoke swirling like it was auditioning for a post-apocalyptic horror flick. And it started chasing me. Literally chasing me.

Flames whipping in the air, the dumpster fire monster screamed over and over:

“LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!”

It was like some fiery trash demon desperate for attention like it was 2005 Paris Hilton, and I was the poor sap caught in its smoky crosshairs. Meanwhile, I’m gripping the wheel, eyes probably as wide as saucers, heart pounding like a war drum, fueled by three cans of White Monster and pure panic.

At some point, my hands started trembling so badly I almost spilled a nonexistent fourth can. And yes, I may have started peeing green. Don’t ask me how, just trust me: three White Monsters plus extreme trail stress equals some questionable bodily functions.

Back to the chaos: My 4Runner’s tires were spinning uselessly, the truck whining louder than my caffeine-crazed brain. If I had front AND rear lockers, those tires would’ve locked down hard and dragged me away from the flaming dumpster demon. And if I had a regear? My engine wouldn’t be screaming in a pitch that sounds like nails on a chalkboard while trying to outrun a fiery garbage monster yelling for attention.

The hill climbs turned into a nightmare symphony of wheel spin, engine wails, and the dumpster fire monster’s relentless “LOOK AT ME!” echoing through the forest like a cursed off-road chant.

At one point, I was so tempted to stop, jump out, and just look at the dumpster fire to appease it—but between the mud, Monster-induced jitters, and my green pee shame, I figured running was a better option.

Bottom line: I need front and rear lockers to stop the spin cycle insanity, and a regear so my engine can chill out and stop sounding like it’s about to combust—because otherwise, next time I hit the trail, that dumpster fire monster might catch me, and I’m not ready for a fiery screaming showdown.

Also, I’m probably going to buy stock in White Monster because nothing says “off-road adventure” like hallucinating your own flaming trash demon while peeing green and hearing Norse gods’ secrets whispered by trees.

 

Worst Job?

 

Mollie for OP!!!

 

I know!! She went there!!

 

Yes, I'm ok with it. Even though it's probably not the worst, it's not overly appealing either.

 

One thing that was also true of that forum is that I learned a lot there, too, much like our corner of the internet here. Plenty of weirdos, short on squatches, though.

 

We're all normal here though...

 

@Gritto - pay attention here!

 

This one is more fun though

Better class of people here

 

Hoarse whisperer!!!!

 

This place is unmatched.

 

New poll by @Mollie


Ready, set...

Hey Troy !
False Start

 

Voted!!!