Texas BS Thread

Well i just owned all of ANGRY BIRDS..... 3 star on all levels and found all the golden eggs... i officially am done with my work in Iraq. I will be leaving tomorrow.

 

When i was in Colorado i was always in 4wheel drive. One wheel peel was horrrible, i couldnt even back out of the parking spots. Rear was to light... locker would have helped but slide around alot and LSD would have been best i think.

 

JASON ALDEAN

 

So I just got home from Schlitterbahn with my family, no lines for rides or anything

To find all these jerks and assholes parked down the street 10 houses down on both sides!

Then this Nissan Titan decides to block our driveway

When I went to ask him to move being polite and everything the asshole blew me off! I am gonna go postal!

They are blocking the fire hydrant.... Idiots, a fire truck couldn't even make it down the street

 

that sucks. sounds like you need someone to come help you jerk that truck out of the way.

 

I was considering getting my dad's F-150 over our yard and shimmying it out between two cars and yanking the piece of crap down the street for everyone to see. I hate Nissan drivers!!

 

Perfect opportunity for some well placed revenge.. box his car in to where he can never leave, slash the tires, key the whole side, egg it. Be creative.

 

Who's rubbing what, and sticking it where???

 

I like bending the value stems with pliers. it is not immediate satisfaction, but you can be rest-assured his tires will leak forever and he probably wont figure it out.

 

Just blow his truck up with some c4 explosives

 

The most creative I had gotten was getting some dog crap and flinging it into the bed of his truck but if I had some C4 lying around............ Or pliers for that matter........

 

I'd just throw that on the front windshield, good idea though

 

I have some real old squeeze cheese in the pantry somewhere, that would be a bitch to clean.

 

My parent's neighbors were having their house built two years ago when I was in my junior year of high school, every day there was over 15 cars blocking the whole fucking street in front of the house on both sides of the street. The street is only supposed to fit two lanes, so it was basically impossible to get out of the driveway for us. This went on for a few months, when they finally moved in, the fuckin' big rig with all of their shit decided to park right in front of our driveway. I fucking hate those neighbors and I feel bad about how my parents have to deal with them every day.. Stupid ass construction workers would lay down on our grass thinking they owned the damn property. Plenty of other bull shit has happened in the past three weeks because of them.

 

If you come take care of all 8 billion of the people on my street I will take care of those neighbors

 

Oh, and half of the people at this party are crazy lawyers. Have fun

 

Oh, that sucks! Are they outside within sight of the vehicles?

 

I think so, I don't think I want to find out.... I hate bullshit like that... Stupid lawyers and lawsuits for no damn reason
This guy in my comp sci class threatened to sue me for asking him to pick up my pen... Dumbest thing I had ever heard.

 

Enough of my bitching though, if anyone wants to take care of all the jerks in my life I will pay you $5 and a can of squeeze cheese.

 

If only I lived in Houston.. lol