Wife/Girlfriend terrible with Finances??

Mmk well like I said, good luck solving this.

 

If it's a good guy/bad guy thing- You have more to talk about with her than money...and you need to do it ASAP. A serious relationship (to the point of sharing $ and a house) is a partnership and if you can't even talk about things without someone getting pissy-There are bigger issues man.

My wife and I make nearly the same amount of money-so we divide everything down the middle. If you are making the lions share of the income- Then she needs to be helping (which includes not outspending her means) with the cashflow and pitching in to pull her weight. Like I said-Partnership.

 

The wife and I have a pretty good system. She worked part-time while she finished her master's degree and I worked full-time. After we had the baby and it was time for her to go back to work, she went to work full-time. We decided that since she made more money than me that I would work part-time and stay at home with the baby. After he gets a little older, then I will go to school for master's or doctorate.

Now on to the finances part. We have seven accounts. She has a savings and checking account, I have a savings and checking account, Brayden has a savings account, and we have a joint checking and savings account.

Since she makes more money than I do, it is only fair that she has more spending money. We pay for all our bills out of the joint account (water, electricity, insurance, auto payments, fuel, etc.). We have individual credit cards, so if we spend money on our credit cards, then that comes out of our individual accounts.

85% of our income goes into our joint accounts. The other 15% goes into our seperate accounts that we get to spend any way we choose.

Note: even our fuel goes on joint account. I sat down and calculated our income and bills, including a certain amount for groceries and unforseen medical bills, and determined what percentage needed to go into our joint account.

This has worked out very well for us for the last six months. She doesn't feel like she is being cheated. She is contributing the majority of the income, but she also has more extra money to blow.

 

Just talk to her. I'm extremely lucky with my girlfriend, she is even more frugal than I am and is WAY better at actually budgeting her money. She writes down every single penny she spends and will not spend a penny more than what she has budgeted. It's crazy.

Good luck!

Fink

 

This is precisely how the girlfriend and I will do things when we get married.

Fink

 

chicks just are not good at saving money. my wife and I are both nurses, work the same hours. While i do make about 10k more a year then her because i work 2nd shift, she does not save money as much as she could. Women like to shop (clothes, shoes, shit for the house, other people kids....) then they have their manicures and pedicures and doing their hair, buying makeup....they claim its so they look good for us, but its not cheap lol. she has tucked away maybe 20k in savings in the last 4 years while i save about that every year and i paid for my truck in cash

 

My wife and I were both nurses also. We worked same department, same shift, exact same days for 3 1/2 years. It was great. She now is a nurse practitioner. Hopefully within the next couple of years, I will be too.

 

sorry i quit reading after this

its the only logical answer

 

x2...


we have our own accounts and both have the same amount going into a joint account for all our bills and joint savings...whatever is left over is our own. if we want a larger purchase and dont have enough in our joint checking, we transfer from our personal checking or wait to buy it.

 

All I can say is do NOT get married to this woman. Bad habits, as already stated, will only get worse. She already considers your money her money.
When you actually get married, that may become the truth but that also goes for the debt she's racking up now.

You need to sit down with her and talk to her. If you can't talk to her about money without her becoming defensive she does not need to be part of your future.

 

3 accounts. Hers, mine, and joint. 80% of our paycheck goes to joint (via direct deposit) and the other 20% to personal account. Joint account is for house bills, car repair, vet bills etc .. personal account is for whatever we want. No questions asked

Birthday and xmas gifts come out of personal accounts too!!

 

yeah when you get married, your money is her money and her debt is your debt...

so in simple terms....SUGAR DADDY!!!!

btw....where can i find one like you???

you need to figure out a way to sit her down and calmly talk about things and if she gets pissy about tell her you cant give her anymore until she can sit down with you like an adult and discuss these things. thats not cool.

 

Tried this-Far easier to keep two accounts and divide up the bills for my wife and I to pay from our own accounts. Never a concern about buying groceries and bills coming out of the account on the same day.
The other concern I have with the divided and joint accounts for the OP is that his other half doesn't seem to be very responsible...So the joint account will be safe-but any unforeseen issues will be the OPs burden. Same for investing/saving for the future.

 

I feel your pain, but mine cleans and does laundry pretty religiously, I do like the idea of cutting the power and locking the fuse box.

 

pics of your woman.

the only reason i ask is you pay for what you get lol

 

my girl friend is so spoiled...im so broke lol the spoiling is coming to an end tho whether she likes it or not, i need a truck (or maybe a car ) fresno sucks with out a car or something I already had to quit my job because the hours would go later then the buses would run


back on topic

I do feel you OP, i had a girlfriend that did that exact same thing. I would get so mad. She would spend like every night with me, but it would be more because she has no lights or food at her place, but she would have something new every other day. Her parents eventually bailed her out but still if you know your in the hole why keep buying stuff I eventually kicked her to the curb not exactly over the money thing, but that did play a part

 

One of the leading causes of divorce is (not surprisingly) money.

Lots of good suggestions so far. For me, it was the three accounts (hers, mine and the joint account). Figure out your expenses; add a little cushion then divide it in half--that's what you contribute to the joint account. At the end of the year, take a look at the balance in the joint account and decide whether to leave it in the account, take a nice vacation or move it into CD's or some other savings vehicle.

What ever you do, decide before you get married or eventually it will lead to problems.

Good luck.

 

Bro... I am having the EXACT same problem with my gf.

She's wonderful 90% of the time. Cooks for me every day and almost always cleans up the kitchen without bitching.

I make more money than her. I don't know how much more, but I pay 100% of BOTH our bills. It's been driving me kind of batty lately - mainly because her lack of financial stability is starting to make me financially unstable - she doesn't save a dime, and won't put away money in case something happens to her car (which is my old car, don't ask) etc.

I've talked to her about it at length. I'm always the bad guy as well - but she's FINALLY getting the point. I'm forcing her to make a budget, and account for it. Without reconciling where your money is going, there's no telling what it is being spent on.

She's getting better. She's not where I need her to be, but she is making an effort - and this is what is important to me.

You need to lay out your expectations. Like if I pay 100% of your bills, I expect you do this this and this. Like my gf - she cooks pretty much every night. She's a great cook too, which helps. We sometimes have disagreements on cleaning and laundry, and I'm still battling her spending habits... but with the budget she's doing, I think she's realizing how important this is in life.

Talk to her. Over and over and over again. If you don't let her know how you feel, then the anger will just fester and it will end up exploding. Not good for the relationship.

 

I think this is the first problem. You both should know what each other make, and exactly what you are responsible for. Some people say "you get bill ABC and I get XYZ". For me and my wife, we decided 80% was fair. We each put 80% and it doesnt matter who makes more, we each contribute the same %. So if she makes more, she will have more in her own savings, but she also contributes more to the joint. To us, it seemed the fairest.

 

I understand the percentage thing, as that is how my girlfriend and I handle it now.

I make close to $20k more per year than she does, so I pay more of the rent each month (I just did off of percentage of income). But with utilities, we both pay equal amounts. We split groceries right down the middle while we're at the store - just have them charge our cards separately. It works VERY well for us and we never argue about money.

Once we get married, we are going to do the multiple account setup - but until we're both legally tied to each others debt, we don't see the need for it.

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