How to spot future brother in laws potential drug use?

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Do you have any type of lease, or just a verbal agreement? He may have some rights, a good buddy of mine own some properties, and talks about how hard it is to evict tenants.

 

I have friends, and my dad who has done coke and they have told me things to look for and the symptoms add up:
-Loss of weight(he swears up and down its from having to walk to work..and working at subway according to him has made him healthy) Yet he honestly eats fastfood for every meal
-Constant phlegm he's hacking up
-I think one time he said something about having a deviated septum but said it was from something hitting him under his nose?
-Constantly seems have a lot of energy. then seems like crashes maybe?

my fiance just texted me and said she talked to her parents about it and they were going to talk to him, he isn't home so either hes at work or at his parents or getting high? Either way im sure he'll be all pissed off when he gets home. I told my fiance if he's on drugs he can't live here, no 2nd chance, 2nd chance just lets him know we know and hes just going to try and hide it. I have known him for a long time, but i guess i never really noticed a change till he moved in.

Also I confronted him about his friends and how he should look at maybe other jobs, he got defensive and really paranoid. I came to the conclusion maybe he was on mushrooms, in which he said he hadn't done them in a while.(could have been a lie). basically it got into a bad arguement and almost got physical. I called his dad over to talk to him but nothing never really happened. I just told his dad what was going on and went to bed. The next morning he acted like nothing happend.

 

THIS^ is what is going to save me, no there is no verbal agreement or any lease. I did this on purpose, because a guy I work with told me about a woman he was dating and when they broke up he let her stay in the other room because she didn't have anywhere to go, but he made a lease and had a tough time getting a eviction notice for her. So there is NOTHING that protects him from being kicked out.. atleast I dont think so. I mean I'm more than happy to give him this months rent back and call it good.

EDIT:.. But I'll do some googling

 

At this point im not trying to be a nice guy, I do have a gut feeling, and my buddies have told me it seems suspicious. Personally Im not okay with drugs. I dont do any, I guess I've become more tolerant of weed because of where I live and pretty much everyone does it...Not saying that it's a good thing

 

Yeah the shitty thing is I dont know if he was just BSin' or what. Although why would he lie about it?

 

If you're tolerant of some, how do you draw the line for someone else who's into more?

 

I'm still looking for "Non lease/ verbal agreement" California laws, but I think he's too stupid to know his rights. Definately locks would be changed.

 

Hes a adult, i wouldnt care if he does shit outside the house, but if he brings it in your house or comes home fried than its game over, just my opinion.

 

Unfortunately I really don't know how to answer this. I guess i've just heard about the damages these other drugs have done to people, compared to weed. I guess maybe i'm more tolerant of it because I know many people who do it and never have seen anything really changes them like other drugs do.? i dont know..

 

I understand he's an adult and he can do whatever, but when he comes home and he's acting sketchy and brings his friends with then yeah thats my main worry. I work with his dad, and straight up told him. The days my fiance and I work late I honestly worry if I am going to come home and my tv is off the wall and shits gone..

 

haha yeah this darn county. Fortunately he doesn't smoke here. Atleast I dont think. I told him no smoking in the house, and so far he has respected atleast one thing I ask. Although who knows if he does it while were not home.

 

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good advice!

I wish you the best of luck - these situations are always a challenge and the solutions are never the same for everyone.

 

No I haven't seen the movie, this is obviously a concern of mine, coming home and finding him dead or one of his friends dead from an OD in MY HOUSE...wouldn't look good

 

Yeah that was basically what i told my fiance, she didn't really notice anythign. or if she did she didn't put it together with drug use. Like I told her, yeah he may not be all fucked up on it yet and can still function BUT if we think he's starting it we need to fix it before it gets worse...and by fixing it I dont mean letting him fix it while staying at my house.

 

thanks for the input!

I dont think it has been mentioned yet, but should I handle this? Or let his parents? The shitty thing is I think he feels he doesn't have to give me respect because were close to the same age and he thinks since I'm dating his sister he doesn't really have to listen to me. I don't know if he'd listen to his parents about this either.

 

The shitty thing is I haven't CAUGHT him doing anything. So its all just suspicion at this point