Application for permission to date my daughter

[SIZE=+2]APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER[/SIZE]

Print out and submit as per instructions at the bottom of the form.

[SIZE=-1]1. Name :__________________________________________________ Date of Birth :_________________[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]2. Height :___________________________ Weight :_______________________ GPA :________________[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]3. Social Sec. #_______________________ Drivers license #______________________________________[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]4. Boy Scout Rank :__________________________[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]5. Home address :____________________________ City/ State____________________________________[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]6. Do you have one male and one female parent ? Yes _______ No _______[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]7. If no, explain :_________________________________________________________________________[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]8. Number of years parents married :__________________________________________________________[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]9. Do you own a van ?______ A truck with oversized tires ?______ A water bed ?_______[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]10. Do you have an earring , nose ring , belly-button ring ?______ A tattoo ?_______[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1](If yes to any of #9 or #10, Discontinue application and leave premises ...[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]11. In ten words or less, what does LATE mean to you ?___________________________________________[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]12. In ten words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you ?______________________________________[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]13. In ten words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you ?___________________[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]_______________________________________________________________________________________[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]14. Church you attend :_________________________________ How often you attend :_______________[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]15. When would be the best time to interview your Father, Mother, And Minister ? ___________________[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]16. What would you want to be IF you grew up ? _______________________________________________[/SIZE]

[SIZE=-1]Answer by filling in the blanks. Please answer freely - all answers are confidential[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1](that I won't tell anyone - ever- I promise).[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is in the __________________________[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]If I were beaten the last bone I would want broken is my ________________________________________[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ___________________________________[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is_______________________________________[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1](Note: If answer begins with T or A, discontinue and leave premises: Keeping your head low and running in[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]a serpentine fashion is advised. )[/SIZE]


[SIZE=-1]I SWEAR THAT THE INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF: [/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, DEATH, AND DISMEMBERMENT.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=-1]Signature (that means your name, moron)______________________________________________________[/SIZE]

[SIZE=-1]Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 to 6 weeks for processing. You will be contacted in writing if[/SIZE] [SIZE=-1]you are approved. Please do not attempt to call or write. If your application is rejected you will be[/SIZE] [SIZE=-1]notified by two gentlemen wearing white coats and carrying a violin case.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=-1]APPLICANT'S RIGHT THUMB PRINT IN BLOOD[/SIZE]

 

LMAO, "BOY Scout Rank"

 

I like the 'What would you want to be If you grew up".

 

that was my favorite line too. great minds think alike i guess.... but i dont know what our excuse is....

 

Cause there's a difference between great and greatest.

 

i know you guys have like, 200 different words for "snow" but i didn't think you had a word in canadian for "great"