Life as a young one.

I am a nice 22 yr old guy who wants ppl to be happy. Waitress at the bar a go to is in bs with her bf/ex and hasnt eaten in 24 hrs. So i go to buy food for someone in troubled times. Not to get with em or use it as an advantage, but to be nice, and they refuse?. So ok, I sneak around and I leave a $20 tip to pay for the food and they refuse that and only put in a $10 tip into the system... no matter how I try n be nice I still loose. I see the asshole mentality in relationships now a days. So i try n b an asshole. Nothing. So i go back to nice. Nothing. How do I end up finding a way to fail at being nice? Apparently my definition of being nice doesn't work... back to my hermit self. lol

Is there some fkn key piece of nice/asshole I'm missing? I just don't fkn get it at all....

 

Do what feels right in your heart, and ignore the rest. That's what I say.

 

Be like me just fly solo and to hell with them cause I'm content with spending all my money on guns my truck and hookers and blow and life is good. Girl bitch too much about how you never spend time or money on them when you got more important things to do anyways

 

That's the thing tho... I can't even figure out what's right. Everything I try fails. Guess its good to be a person who trays and fails rather then someone who doesn't try and fails.

 

I'm 22 too, and been in the same type of shit. How to act type questions to hope that's what they are into n what not. I've come to a realization that doing that I just playing games.

So the conclusion from that realization is to just be yourself. No need to put a front of an asshole or a front of nice. Be you, and of they accept it'll be better in the long run.

And finally, some people are just wierd. Especially when relationships are in a sour state. Makes people go crazy.

 

Classy, Nicely said!

 

Yea but I'm not putting on a front. I can be either. I took it more as an experiment and oddly enough it was a failed experiment. No matter what it was never a positive response.

 

I learned a loooong time ago that being Captain Save-A-Ho only causes you problems and makes you jaded with women. Unless it's family, whatever a girl is going through, I don't care, don't want to hear it and don't want to get involved in it.

 

Sorry man... Personally I'd like to think I'm a nice guy. And i totally here you. It's upsetting because i do feel like many people no longer either appreciate genuine niceness, or just never expect it. Sometimes i just feel like people are so skeptical of everyone they just flat out dont believe you and think you have a hidden agenda. I think, and what i do, is i just be nice, expect assholes to be assholes, because every once in a while you'll end up making someones day, or really helping someone out. Be yourself and you'll find the people who appreciate it.
But believe me, i know it sucks when people don't even appreciate you trying to help. I'm your typical college kids so all i get is people thinking im a total flake all the time.
The other week an older couple was lost on campus and i was the only one around so they asked for directions. They ended up being on the complete opposite end of campus then where they needed to be (and UC Davis has a pretty large campus...) so i tried helping them out, pointing out on their little map where to go. The map was so small i brought out my iphone to show them turn by turns. They were so upset that they had been lost for a half hour that even after helping them for about a full 3 minutes they grunted, didnt say anything else and then proceeded to cut me off while i was on my bike.
Some people just dont get it.

 

x2 best to just stay out of it.

EDIT:BTW I am 22 also.

 

I'm serious though I've had girls come and go but as long as you go out as much as possible and just be yourself and eventually you'll find a genuine girl that likes you for you and will hopefully like what you like or won't mind you doing whatever you want cause honestly every time I'm in a relationship I miss the sense of freedom when I'm single cause the girl is too much maintenance and complains when I'm not spending enough time with her and calls/texts every min of every day. Patience is totally worth it. My stupid ass let an amazing girl slip away :/ oh well. And do yourself a favor and stay away from girls with drama trying to be the nice guy will only get yourself knee deep in shit that you wanna get out of but not wanna look like an asshole and just ditch her cause she's leaning on you now etc trust me I've been there and it sucks sorry for the block of text lol just have patience

 

Issues aren't for sharing with some random dude who walked into your bar. If she's sharing that with you, it's her tool to get men to feel sorry for her. RUN. Don't try to be nice, don't try to be her friend. GTFO.

Be yourself, and don't worry about it. Half will like you, half won't. And of the half that do, eventually you'll find one. But it won't happen if you're acting. Or, even worse, you'll marry someone you were putting on an act for and spend your ENTIRE LIFE acting. Does that sound fun?

 

could see that staying out of it is good. I never wanted to get into it. I just wanted to buy a damn pizza (even tho she gets 50% off). Its the being nice thing I thought would work. But fails everytime. I don't want anything from her other than her have some damn food outa the kindness of my heart as a damn human, and I still fail at that! Logcabinwc wait it pretty good. People now just don't get kindness like before.

 

I still think you shoulda told her to fuck off when she refused the gesture

 

I've known her for months now, its not a situation like that. I'm not looking for anyone, not wanting to nail anyone or one night her. Just wanted to be a nice guy and buy her some food and cheer up her mood. That's all. I just don't get how I can try, fail, try again, and even fail at giving her a good tip.

 

I think if that person was right for you, hanging out with her wouldn't be a chore. If hanging out with your GF is a chore, time to move on. If she's sitting at home bitching that you aren't there because fishing is more important.... DING DING DING! Fishing is more important. And on her side of things, bitching is more important or she'd be out there asking if you'd help her bait a hook.

 

Didn't realize you knew her a little better than "random dude" status, but the BS with her ex could still be the hook. And obviously she's up to her eyeballs in BS at the moment and it's going to be a circus even if you try to be NICE to her. She's still involved with him.

But know that you didn't fail. You tried to be nice, she wasn't interested. You tipped her, she's the one with issues. That's not on you, it's on her. Those are her issues, not yours, so don't take them on.

 

I know that but the problem with girls in my city is they are just all bitches I haven't met a genuine girl in a long time and if I do they are always taken. And whenever I do find some girl that's like omg trucks guns offroading etc usually just say that cause they like the idea of it and it just seems like a trending thing here but when it comes down to it they arent

 

Oh... and know that I'm way better at offering up advice than following my own

 

I see that. That makes sense. But I wasn't trying to take anything on. I just wanted to buy her some food sense she was working and was possibly her last night there. I know she's up to her eyeballs in BS but I just tried to be nice.... and seemed to kinda fail at that...