The "friend zone"

Haven't read the rest of the thread but the most surefire way to express yourself is always: honesty.

I'm recently divorced and have a friend who is 1 year divorced. We've known each other for 5 years, not extremely well, but may have seen each other (me with my family, her with hers) 5 times over the span.

In January we saw each other, talked for awhile... texted, etc.

After a couple of weeks I told her that I would like to see her in a more substantial way. Started with me cooking dinner for her (I love to cook), hanging out afterwards and talking about our feelings for one another.

For the past couple of months it's been great. We're friends, not dating, but sharing a lot of intimacy that we both desire from each other. We are also open and honest with each other that we do not want a "true relationship" but we are to remain faithful to one another so long as we're having sex. If either one of us wants to explore elsewhere, we're cool with it.

But it all started with open and honest communication.

That's my advice.

 

wtf how many times have you used it?

 

Who said anything about alone

 

get a dog or a few cats

 

Thats funny because it was only like 6 hours before I was drunk....

and I agree with Jasmie 110%

 

how the fuck...

 

Stop talking to her so much, find other girls to be around, if she seeks you out or asks where you've been...proceed.

 

Alright dude this is very simple. I've known this girl for like 7 years and been attracted to her for like 3 of them. She had a boyfriend so whatever. We talked constantly texting mostly and she got alot more interested in what I was doing whenever I happened to be dating someone. Fantastic. She broke up with said boyfriend like 6 months ago and I've been contemplating the same thing you have ever since. Didn't want to jump the gun as soon as she was single but dammit somebody's gonna move in sooner or later.

So heres what I've decided and why I'm not going to lose my mind and beg this girl to marry me in some blind hope that she's loved me all along but somehow has been oblivious to the fact that I'm attracted to her. You've known this girl a long time. Talked to her alot I'm guessing. Mostly about you because you like her and want her to realize you're mr. right and this fantastic specimen of a male. Its failed man. She knows everything about you. The good, the bad, the baggage, whatever. Theres no mystery left. Not the kind that gets unraveled while you're dating someone. There is ZERO incentive for this girl to date you unless she's sexually attracted to you. You've told her 98% of what she needs to know.

So rack your brains. Has there ever been a hint that was into you physically. Not the kind where your little heart skips a beat because she brushed against you walking next to her. If theres one thing I've learned girls are very aware of where, how, and when their body touches you. Now this is a specific thing for every case. Your girl might be a flirt and hug and lean on any guy that she feels remotely comfortable around. Really think about this. If there was a few times recently where that happened there might be enough doubt in her mind for her to take a chance on you. If not she's already decided your fate.

Oh and one more thing. SHE KNOWS ALL OF THIS. She's not stupid. If she didn't know before the red flag went up when you admitted your feelings a year and however long ago. She's been dissecting every word and move you've made since. You're not going to get anywhere without a drastic change. So heres what I propose (and may or may not be trying myself) leave her alone. don't text her first and when she contacts you be a little cold. Don't give as much detail about everything. Talk to her like she's one of your bros. You're just making smalltalk. You showing your feelings hasn't worked out so make her show her cards or even realize exactly what cards she's holding. The love card might be in there afterall but you've been too busy bearing your soul to her for her to notice.

So there you go. Its not ok to pursue her in your current circumstances but if something changes that might change too. If not you get to know for sure how she feels and stop pleading with your pillow at night to let her love you back.

 

THIS is too much fucking work, for whoever was on that subject last night.

 

Learn to type guys

and an interest in psychology wrote most of it

 

holy dragon poop on a stick, but tis true...

 

crush guts, pitb, bang her best friend... she got a hot sister? bang her too.

 

WTF!! Who told them?

 

the mother can also be included in this list.