Gfs dad is being abusive. I need Help!

I need some help tw. Im 23 and she is 19. I love my gf so much and always wanna help her when I can. She lives at home with her mom,sister and dad and she doesnt gwt along with him. He is the type to get mad easily and throw stuff around and scream.

Well these past months, he has been getting mad at her for no reason. I get a call from her and she is crying so hard and walking about of the familys apartment. I guess the dad called her a bitch,asshole, and the c word. stupid, and Im gonna beat your face so hard. He has never said the c word before but said it this time and has always said Im gonna beat your face but has never laned a hand on her yet. He was thowing stuff around the house and she just stayed there and said sorry even though she didnt do anything. I feel so bad for her. I dont know what to do guys. I just wanna go over there and be like damm, dont you ever say that to a girl. Its not right. I hate it when he does it. But if i do that I wont be able to see her. She left the house crying and went to a near by park and called me. What a fucking asshole. I dont wanna see my gf go though this but i dont know what else i can do. Please help guys. Thank you.

 

Forgive my ignorance and faith in the process, but she's 19 and legally an adult. She has to help herself first, no? Is there a reason she's still at home? Abuse is serious, and she's an adult it's time to leave home, I think. Otherwise the cops will have to be called. My two cents.

 

agreed.
pitb

 

Self defense right?

 

she does have to help herself. She and her family are very poor. Like really poor and cant afford alot of things. The money she earned wokring goes to parents to pay the bills so she has no money and cant go anywhere. I feel like calling the cops isnt gonna do anything cause he hasnt layed a hand on her. Just yelling and calling her rude names.

 

Beat his ass, call the cops, or have her move out

 

You could call the cops, but in my experience that can either cause only temporary relief or sometimes even do more harm than good (he may flip out). If you truly care about her at all, go pack up her stuff and move her to your place or somewhere she will be safe?

It's not even about your relationship and whether or not that will work out...its about your responsibility as an adult to do your part to ensure the safety of someone in potential harm. It's the right thing to do.

 

He has never said this stuff in front of me. It always seems to happen when I leave. I dont wanna fight with him. He is a big big guy and I Know he would kick the lights out of me. I wanna get her out of the place but i live at home. So I dont know how well that would work out

 

If he ever lays a hand on her, the cops better be informed of the situation. I know how you're feeling, went through something similar about 6 years ago with a gf in high school.

 

If your parents are normal, caring people (which I'm guessing they are, since they raised a kid who is), then I'd imagine they'd at least be open to talking about it if you have some real fears about her safety.

 

I know what you mean. I should do that. Im picking her up tmw and she is sleeping at my house for the weekend to calm down. I think if i was there, I would have hit him and then he would have taken out his gun at me. He was in the war long time ago so Im thinking thats why he is acting this way

 

Because internet advice is the best..

Do you still live at home? Is it an option for her to move in with you?

 

Sounds like you BOTH need to move the hell out of your parents places and be on your own.

19 & 23, living at home?!?! My parents kicked my butt out as soon as I graduated high school.

Sounds like you both could learn a lot from being on your own! Get it done. You both will grow and mature as adults much faster on your own.

 

Im trying my best here. I'm trying to fix it but its hard. Im afriad of him pushing the limits and then she hit him back and he punches her.

I told to my mom and she was so sad about it. She is letting her stay the weekend with us and is gonna take her out for the day to make her feel better. I just hate how this fucking stupid ass can say these things to her. What right do you have to say these things and gwt away with it. If he was to lay a hand on her, I would call the cops right away and punch him where the light doesnt shine.

 

If you love her like you say you do have her move in with you and get here out of that abusive envirerment.

 

Sucks bro, sorry to hear this.

Be a better man, and DO NOT FIGHT HIM!!! You have too much to lose, and even though your gf is worth it, he is not worth getting your ass thrown in jail or hurt.

Calling the cops will only difuse the situation short term, but may cause things to get worse after they leave.

The goal needs to be to get her out of the house. Since she is 19, and an adult, she has the power to get herself out of that situation and move out. Maybe your parents would understand and let her stay with you until you both can move out together. She should stop using her money to pay dad's bills and let him go bankrupt.

Good luck OP.

 

Does he act like this only to your gf or is it toward her mom and sister also? I'm not sure what they can do to stop it, but are they aware of this type of behavior from him?

 

I should moved out a long time ago. Thats what i wanted to do but with college and stuff i just couldnt. My parents are letting me stay in the house while i finish school. You are 100 percent right. I do need to move out. I'm trying to save as much as i can but its still not enough. Maybe i shouldnt have brought A brand new truck lasy year cause thats killing my bank account but I did so I have to keep trying hard.

 

Yes they both know whats happening. They were both there when it happen today. They cant say a thing cause he will get mad. You could say he runs the house. He is the big shot there and what says goes.